newborn and step kids?

Holly - posted on 01/31/2010

I felt the same way, but then I found little ways to involve my oldest in taking care of the baby. I know your step sons are a little young, but they cn always help you get things (like handing you wipes when you're changing diapers, a spit up rag when you get puked on, little things like that). It helped my daughter feel like it was her baby too (which she loved) and it made it so she also got attention.

I also made it a point of spending time with her while the baby was sleeping during the day. I put the baby down for a nap and then my daughter and I would play a board game, or color, or I would read to her. Just small things are wonderful to them since all they really want is to know they are loved and have at least some of the attention.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby! :)

Kendra - posted on 01/31/2010

I am in the same situation as you are, but I also have a child from my previous marriage as well. My husband and I found that the best way we could deal with showing all the kids that they are all loved the same is to make time each week to take each of the kids alone to do something they like to do. We leave the other three kids with the other parent that way each child has at least a little time each week of undivided attention with mom and dad where they don't have to share time with the baby or their siblings. We also take the older kids outside with the baby monitor to play while the baby sleeps. In my opinion, it keeps a little of the same routine intact that was there before the baby was born, but we still have to have the "the baby has to have a little more attention because he can't do anything for himself" speech from time to time. Our girls are quite a bit older than your step-children, so I don't know that having that talk would help in your situation. Good luck with your situation. Hope I could help a little.

Betty - posted on 01/30/2010

If you love them all you shouldn't feel guilty. Newborns need more attention in order to survive so you shouldn't feel so bad for focusing your attention on her as a priority. In a few months you will have your energy back and you will do just fine as a mother of three. Have friends and family members help out by doing fun things with the boys while you rest and take care of your baby and have them help with the baby while you do things with the boys too.

Melissa - posted on 01/30/2010

I just went through the same situation but my step children are 8 & 13 and I also have them 100% of the time, I am a stay at home mother and there dad works all the time so it's just me and them. What I did was have them included in everything I do with the baby it does get annoying sometimes because sometime a newborn can get overwelming and you have 2 kids in your face trying to help you do everything but now my new baby is 6 months old and the kids have a really special bond with him. Good luck.

Trish - posted on 01/29/2010

my husband and i have the his, mine and ours situation and i felt the same way when our daughter was born. they all live with us 99% of the time. we always eat dinner together and i always made sure i talked to them and play with them as much as possible while the baby was sleeping or not in need of me. things work out. as far fetched as i let my mind go everything changed but yet they all fell into place. good luck!