not sure what to do.....

Lesley - posted on 06/20/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

140

24

13

Will try to make this short....

My husband had a daughter 10 years ago. He seen her once. Wasnt on birth certificate but did take paternity and paid child support. Was told from BM that their daughter was adopted by her parents and that he want notified bc in Texas if fathers name wasnt on BC then he had no rights. Well my husband and I got together 6 years ago. One of my goals was to find his daughter. Three years ago i found her BM and grandmother with the names on child support receipts. I messaged the BM and she told us that her mom still had their daughter and that she had been looking for my husband. Then she told us that she is not allowed to contact their daughter as her daughter she knows her as her sister (if that makes sense) and that we are not to contact her mom about their child bc she will pull their daughter away from her. We have a total of 4 pictures of their daughter. I started to google things online about parent rights and found this website that today me to call the court house where everything took place. I called and paid money to receive copies of all the court papers. Once they came in the mail we found out that the BM has visits the grandparents are the custodial parents and that the father was unknown. While this was going on my husband was paying child support from a court order where he also took a paternity. Eventually we started to send the grandmother private messages through face book and she would never respond which was fine by my husband. Eventually she blocked my husband and myself.
Well, as of today my 3 year old son has Monogentic Hypertension also called Liddle Syndrome. (the BM is on my and my husband facebook. we keep in touch with her through mesages. she tells us what she knows about their daughter etc.) Well she sent me a message wanting to know if their daughter has to be tested for what my son has bc it came from my husband. BM spoke to her mom about getting their child tested and at first the grandma didnt want to and now she is willing too do so. My husbands thing is why all of a sudden are they concerned about the childs health. My husband wants to know will they finally tell the child that they are not the parents etc. All i can tell him is that if his daughter does have it and she starts meds like our son than her can feel good about doing that much for her.
I just dont know what to tell him anymore. I already feel like i am in the middle bc BM connects me on face book in messages and not him and on the other hand he is my husband and i know the hurt & pain he goes through during holidays her birthday etc.
What would you ladies do? Please Help!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

2 Comments

View replies by

Lesley - posted on 06/21/2012

140

24

13

he was even paying support when BM lost custody and he didnt even know. y would the lawyers not find out about the father?

[deleted account]

He has rights! He needs to talk to an attorney and take the steps to having a relationship with his child. Whether by having visitation like BM does or going for full custody since he IS the father and has been paying child support. I'm glad BM is messaging with you and keeping in contact, but that is not fair to the child. Keep all those emails as evidence that you've been trying for years. I hope some of this helps.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms