Erin - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 68 moms have responded )
My husband will be going to court soon and one issue that will be brought up is the Ex's use of Parental Alienation to hurt and diminish my husbands relationship with his daughter.
A little background info:
My hub has been living out of his daughters state since she was two years old. (They divorced when she was a baby) His visitations were controlled by mom and happened about once a month depending on how mad she was at him at the time. When she was three, he and I began dating and then had a child together and he started taking us with him for the visits. (drama left out of this telling...) When she turned seven Bio decided she didn't want him to be in her life anymore (realized he and I weren't ever going to split or the fact that she finally got a good job and didn't need to rely on us for extra cash for electric bills or Easter baskets even though she lived off his child support solely for seven years) and ceased answering the phones and didn't allow him to see her for her B-day. SO he went to court to modify custody. Since there wasn't an original court order for custody, they started from scratch. Two separate incidences of mediation lead to about a year of supervised one weekend a month visitations and another year of unsupervised visitations, again one weekend a month. Mom claimed that daughter didn't feel comfortable around him. Considering we have to drive seven hours to see her, this has been a costly experience. Now that she is 9 and he feels she is mature enough to come down and stay with us for the summers and half winter break...you know the normal out of state visitation, he needs to go to court. His ex made it very clear, once he hinted at her visiting us down here that she would put up a fight. Once she realized he was serious, the alienation started. This was about a year ago and has increased in severity these last six months. She knows how to get to him best is manipulating the feelings of their daughter. My husbands once fun filled, easy going very affectionate daughter has become cold, calculated and sometimes down right mean to her father and it is very hurtful, especially since he did nothing but want to spend more time with her. His daughter broke her arm and he heard about it from Facebook and not from his ex for three days...he called and left four messages on her 9th birthday and didn't get to even wish his daughter a happy birthday because she didn't call back. Nor does she ever call back. He barely gets to talk to his daughter between visits now because they never pick up the phone or call him back.
That being said, has anyone had a case where the judge was able to see through the mothers lies to see the alienation beneath and side with the Father? My hub doesn't want to take the child or anything, just to have a normal healthy father/daughter relationship with her where he gets to see her for extended periods of time in our home.