part time job...full time benefits

Julie - posted on 11/05/2008 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a stepdaughter that we have joint custody of. we have her about 38% of the time during the school year and 50% in the summer. She is 7 1/2 years old. She is wonderful well behaved and plays nicely with her little brother age 5. She gets excellent grades and I enjoy spending time with her. She cracks me up, she is so wise for a little kid. My husband and I have been together since she was about nine months old. So I am the only one she remembers ever being with her Daddy.



My biggest problem is that she tries to play her mom and I against each other. Her mother and I were friends before I met my husband and we have treated this arrangement as a partnership. We both go to her girl scout things when possible, and when her mother is suppose to go and can't because of sudden change at work then I take her. But our daughter insists on pushing the boundaries when we are together to see if we will discipline her in front of the other one, I think. She also tells us things about how mean the other one is. Neither of us believe this.

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Kristie - posted on 11/05/2008

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Open communication is key! I have 2 stepdaughters and we actually have primary custody. Their residence is our home, and they go to school in our district. It was very hard at first, and at times is still challenging. But you and the bio-mom have to remember that you 2 are the adults and that you both want the same thing. Your stepdaughter to be the healthiest thriving 7 year old she can be. We have tried to remind our daughters that the rules at the 2 homes may be somewhat different, but regardless of who they are with, the respect never changes. If they are disciplined by any of their 4 parents, regardless of who it is, they mean business. It sounds like you are already doing a good job. Don't second guess yourself and if you and the biomom have any issues about the child ganging up on you, you should just sit down and have an open minded conversation. Kids will always test you. Goodluck and God bless!

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