Heather - posted on 10/26/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )
this weekend was so messed up. my step kids mom came to the door and demanded to speak to their father with out me, she didn't know that i was right beside the door and was telling him all this horrible stuff that the kids were saying about me. i admit i lost it. her and i got into a major fight. i made her come into the house and i called the kids (7 and 9) down from their room. they told her that i punish them all the time. that i make them clean up dog poop all the time that i make them do everything around the house. that my daughter from a pervious relationship has to do nothing. that i ask them 20 questions about them and their mom and i scream at them all the time. they tried to lie their way out of everything, but couldn't because their bm, father and i were all right there! they both started crying, their father and i had no sympathy for them, but their mom was cuddling them, telling them that it's ok that they weren't in trouble. telling their father and i (in front of them the whole time) that they hate me that they tell her all the time that they don't want to come over, that they have been through so much, their confused, on and on.....
by this time i am livid. i asked them what questions i asked them all the time, my ss said you ask all the time why i want to go home, i said yeah and what else...nothing he says. their mother said that she thinks that its inappropiate that i tell my ss that he hurts his fathers feelings. my husband said why its true. he never wants to come over and he always ask to go home early, it does hurt my feelings. she tried to defend him, i said your giving him excuses, his father and him go to the movies together by themselves, they stay up late watching tv, he takes him to football practice every saturday and gets him breakfast...oh she says she didn't know any of that..... but still she says he doesn't like you!
let me say that i never knew that my sd, 9, felt this way about anything, her and i were getting along great, i knew my ss had issues with me.
i went on to ask her, they never say that their dad yells more then i do, that i yell at them when the purposly wake up their brother (5 months) and sister (22 months). that i yell when my ss calls his sister a bitch, when he refuses to help the girls put away dishes form the dishwasher because it's girls work. their father and i have been together for so long and his father has never ever said anything to that effect, he daoes laundry, dishes, helps with the babies and everything. i know that he is getting this from his bm father.
i went on say that it was their dad that discplined them not me, she said that it was me not him, my husband started laughing at this point, because he has spanked them and i don't... the bm just looked at us. my husband told her that it was me that wants to take them to go get pumpkins, that it's me that wants to take them on family vactions. that all the fun stuff that we do is because i arranged it.
this was all about me and how horrible i am. she finally left after the my sk admitted they lied, but once again they didn't because they don't like me and they don't want me around. i know that their just kids, but i am furious with them. after she left i lost it again. i told them that i work 5-6 days a week, sometimes doubles to make sure that they have things, like the halloween costums that i bought them, the cable tv that they have in their bedroom everything they have is because of me......
my husbands paychecks cover the car payments and insurance, plus the rent, plus child support that she spends on concerts, tattoos and then tells the kids that they have no money.
i pay for everything else. i wouldn't have to work as hard if i left those two out of everything and i did tell this.
i work so that they have family memories and they hate me!?!?!?!
i know for a fact that their mom told them that if i left, that mommy and daddy woould get back together. my husband has sat them down more times then i can count and told them no matter what they wern't getting back together, that he didn't love their mom.
again i know that their just kids and im acting like one, but i feel like they threw me under the bus.
i don't know what to do anymore or what to say to them because they just go home and make up stories, their mom believes them. she hates me as much as they do.
and i feel bad for my husband, he has to feel torn, even though he defends me and supports me.
any advice please!!