Jessica - posted on 06/09/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hey everyone. First a background. My b/f has custody of his niece. Yes, his niece. Her mother has lost all 5 of her children in two different DSS raids. The first 3 she signed PTAs [Parental Termination Agreements] but with the last 2 they didn't make her because we stepped in.
Anyways, she has been living with us since Sept of 08. She's 6 1/2. Very very smart. She has supervised visitations with her mother usually 2 to 4 times a month. They NEVER go well, she always says the most hateful things or just plain lies to her. Then she comes home and has a "Your not my mommy!" attitude or just the really grouchy unhappy for 3 day moods.
In April, my b/f was out working and I stay home with both his niece and my son. After not having been called about visitation [which is church on Sundays] I assumed there was no church/visitation. I tried to call, no answer, so I left for my Mom's for Easter dinner. Well this made BM very mad that her daughter celebrated Easter. Their religion does not celebrate Easter [Halloween, Christmas & many more!]. My b/f and I already discussed holidays and he said that she would be included whenever we did something as she was now part of our family and BM and the rest of his family would just have to get over it.
Well the week after Easter, BM called and asked to speak to her daughter. She was already in bed since it was 11pm but since she hadn't seen her that week, I went and got her. [She was awake, just reading a school book.] Her BM then yelled at her and asked her "Why didn't you show up for church huh?!?" and that caused lil bit to tell her BM that I "made" her go and do an Easter egg hunt, etc.. So BM told her that I was the devil and that me and my son were going to hell in a handbasket. I was close and listening to the convo and at that point, cut the call off by asking her to tell BM she had to go. She told her she loved her and goodbye.
I called b/f later that night and cried like a baby. Told him the story. He got mad and called his sister [BM] and she told him the same thing that I was the devil and that I didn't want her to see her BM. Neither of us have any clue where this came from. As we've told her that she can come see her anytime as long as she calls to see if we are home first. But since she has no car, no job and no money - she doesn't come by hardly any.
Well b/f told her since she couldn't act like an adult and said such awful things that she wasn't allowed to call our home when he wasn't home to listen to the convo himself. She got mad and went and had a fit at my b/f's other sister's house. Now that sister has gotten a big grudge against me and my family. Including her brother.
They constantly leave him messages on myspace saying that they're going to "make it" so that we can live our life the way we want and they can "have" lil bit back. And that we're not raising her properly since we don't take her to church 4 times a week as they go. Well now the other sister who sympathizes with BM has gotten me in some trouble with the law. Her and her husband found an old loan company I had a loan with over 5 years ago and has contacted them and given them all my personal information. Now I'm looking at court, lawyer costs, and fines.
The worst part, after talking to the rest of his family [who never have had a problem with me or my son, and have always been VERY welcoming] it seems they had it planned to get back at us.. because we "took" lil bit from her mother. Umm... last I checked.. DSS took her and her brother away. Because her BM was asleep at 1 in the afternoon after lil bit woke her 4 times to tell her mom that her 2 year old brother was sitting in the middle of the road [over a hill!!!!!] playing with rocks. She even told her mom that the police was outside with her little brother and he said to go get her. She told her to go get her little brother and rolled over... OMG!!!!
Lil bit actually believed that it was her job to do everything for her 2 year old brother. And that SHE was the reason they got taken.. because she wasn't strong enough to pull the fighting 2 year old out of the road.
Anyways.. now I have BM who is mad [directed at me], b/f's other sister [who's started trouble for our family], and I have no clue who else. They all basically say that I'm trying to keep lil bit from my b/f's side of the family and that she must be distraught not getting to see them. Lil bit actually asks to go see MY mother. But since Sept has only asked to go see her BM or aunt ONCE each. And she only wanted to go see her aunt b/c she told her she had a pool. Then when she got there.. she saw they didn't have one and cried to come home to us.. she refused and made her go to church with them and wouldn't call us to come get her.
So.. basically.. is there anything I can do to rectify the situation with b/f's family? They've sold me out for $20, called me the devil, a babysitter and told me three times very meanly that "SHE HAS A MOM, SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU."