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Pregnant and overwhelmed with it all.

Sherri - posted on 02/05/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

313

25

I'm currently 4 and a half months pregnant. My husband has a 14 year old that lives with us full time and we have a 16 year old foster daughter. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my parents are moving 14 hours away (from Ontario to Peachtree, Georgia) this spring. This means that I also have to take on overseeing the care my 24 year old autistic brother as well. He's almost completely non-verbal and since he lives in a facility (behavioural problems and my mom had a massive heart attack and is being tested for MS), overseeing his care is extensive as there's been some issues with sub-standard care.



I'm feeling very overwhelmed lately; I can't sleep very well and can't seem to turn off my brain.



Aside from things like finances, freaking out about if I'm going to be a good mom and time off/daycare, a HUGE concern that I have is my SS. He steals, lies, throws temper tantrums where he slams doors, screams and throws things... he's very emotionally reactive to the point that at 14, I had to get my mom to watch him last week when I was working and he was off school for exams becuase he can't be trusted alone in the house. I'm worried that his antics are going to wake up a new born baby or that my child is going to end up caught in the crossfires of his temper. I had a dream that he was holding the baby and my husband told him to pick up after himself, so he slammed the baby down on the couch beside him....



I don't know how to approach this issue. I'm becoming increasingly paranoid about the idea of leaving him alone in a room with the baby or even letting him hold her. I have no idea how to bring this up to my husband or if my fears are logical or pregnancy paranoia. HELP!

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Nicole - posted on 02/21/2012

79

18

I would definatly talk to your husband about your concerns. When my step son moved in with us he was 11 years old and was on some heavy duty antipsychotic drugs. He talked about suicide and wanting to die all the time and sometimes he would just get this look in his eye that was really unnerving. I was worried about the safety of my baby, I got pregnate right before he came to live with us. I talk to both him and my husband and I was very blut and to the point. It is instinct to want to protect your child, even before they are born. I flat out told him if he hurt my baby I would kill him and I looked him dead in the eye when I told him too. Now, was I a little over dramatic, probably. But I was very hormonal too. Anyway, the fears turned out to be unfounded because once the baby arrived he was, and still is, the best big brother. We made sure to make him feel like part of the family and we let him hold the baby and feed the baby and made him act like a big brother, get this for the baby, get that for the baby, play with your baby brother. That kind of stuff. I still have to make him play with his baby brother at times but they love each other. Your son may surprise you! But I would have a talk with both him and your husband, and even your daughter, before the baby arrives. Good luck and I will be praying for you!

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