problem wit step daughters mom and husband need wise advice please!!!!

Ashley - posted on 08/23/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband and his bm got into a physical altercation and she has an order of protection on him and she included the daughter so know he can't see or contact his daughter in anyway for one year. She the bm found out about us getting married she has been limiting the time he can spend with his daughter i feel this is really immature and that his daughter will only get hurt in the end but i cant get the bm to listen to me and stop the foolishness for the daughter's sake. any advice???

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Latesha - posted on 08/24/2009

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Girl we need to talk behaind the scenes i have been dealing with it for a minute now its ROUGH!!!!!

Cidalia - posted on 08/24/2009

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Your husband is the one who needs to try to fix this. Firstly, he should not be engaging in any physical altercations with her, even if she starts it. If she started it, then he should have been the one to call the police on her. In the meantime, your husband needs to do what he can to show a judge that he's "cleaned up his act" so to speak. He should really look into taking courses: parenting, anger management, and perhaps seeing a counsellor. The judge will want concrete evidence that he's doing everything he can. He should also keep notes of any contact he has with BM and what happens. Date each note and keep it in a notebook. He should even try to note everything he can remember from the past that would help his case (with dates -- at least the month and year), because he will need it for court. It's not so he has something to attack the mom with because it never looks good for the father to attack in court, but so he has something to defend himself with and to make a case that she's not so perfect and that perhaps some of her behavior led to the current situation (and always from the standpoint of doing what's best for his daughter.

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Mrs. Janice - posted on 08/25/2009

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I know what U are going through, the only reason she is acting out is because he is moving on, an like U said the daughter is getting hurt, sometimes we have to just step back and ask Jesus to work it out for U.She is going to get hers in the long run, because u reap what you sow. My step children is grown and i told my husband they can call him themself. I pray that it workout for the both of U.

Ashley - posted on 08/24/2009

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thanks he's starting parenting classes next month and he's looking into going to court for visitation. He has emails that she sent saying she and the daughter were moving out of state and i have messages that she wrote me saying that he's been with her when he wasn't so i think he's good on defending himself.

Mildred - posted on 08/23/2009

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Well, I really don't think you will have much impact on the bm. I know the way that you feel, but I have learned from my own experience that the last person that they want to hear from is the SM. I think that sometimes as SM we are limited to what we can and can't do. I understand that you want to do something, but I recommend leaving it alone. If you don't you will probably get her to resent you and then you will get so see you SD even less.

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