psycho BM, what do I do now???

Naomi - posted on 05/26/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My step son has gone through hell with his bio mom, she does stuff all the time like tell him he hurts her on purpose cause it's in his dna and that he is just like his father and out to get her. Recently it has gotten worse and his behavior while here on visitation (every other weekend) has gotten horrendous. The most recent visit with him he was complaining about his back hurting. We assumed there was no previous injury so his dad popped his back and we put some aspercream on his back. 2 days later the BM is posting that he has a compression fracture that was healing until he came here and due to his father popping his back he now is alot worse and has a pulled muscle. That it has nothing to do with anything going on there but that it is something that happened here. The original injury is claimed to happened last week when he was at a playground and went down a pole and some kid did as well and landed on his head. On that note when he was picked up for visitation nothing was mentioned about the injury or anything being wrong.
I'm personally horrified because of not knowing about his orignial back injury anything could have happened accidentally. Since we had no knowledge of the issue he spent the weekend outside playing, riding bikes and wrestling with his friends. I'm great full he didn't get any worse than he did, however my head is spinning in horror thinking of how easy it would have been with him having that injury already for him to be paralyzed due to us not knowing. That and how much worse things could have been.
What can I possibly do? That and how can I protect my daughter from the possibility of something happens if he comes over and we don't know what is going on and he does get hurt? If she doesn't tell us and something happens even though we are unaware doesn't that still mean we are responsible for it?

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2 Comments

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Naomi - posted on 05/28/2011

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Yes she has custody, Full physical and legal custody from what I have been told. We've been keeping tabs on it and have a ton of stuff documented. Thanks.... Just a really rough time for us as far as it goes with the Stepson... That and now my 3year old is picking up his bad behavior.. that and I'm terrified that he comes over with an injury like that again and get's hurt while she's wrestling or something with him.. Yes we wouldn't be at fault for lack of knowledge beforehand but how can we explain that to his sister if he where to get seriously injured while she's playing with him? That is the main part I'm concerned about. I am terrified something is going to happen while they are playing and that she would blame herself for it...

Treasure - posted on 05/27/2011

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When it comes to an injury - she should report it. I am assuming she has custody? If I am wrong, sorry...
Your husband should have the legal right to school records and medical records - without a fuss from either location. Have him call and inquire about the injury. (both places)
You should not be held responsible for an issue like this - it is failure to communicate necessary medical information pertaining to the child - a negligence.
I would also say that perhaps injuries should be documented - when you document everything else that you document. We have to keep a separate journal for injuries... mainly because we have 6 kids altogether! But, still, have to keep a log!
Hope these help!