Nichole - posted on 02/16/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )
My husband recently took his ex back to court to resolve some custody issues after she went behind his back and set some ridiculous orders. Everything got settled as my husband was able to retain his schedule as previously ordered before his ex made her changes.
He just received his final order in the mail from the court. On the last page of the order, they made some findings after court that state that my children can not stay in the home when his kids are staying over for the weekend. My feelings were hurt. They do go and stay with their grandparents on weekends when they choose, I'm not one to take relationships away from my children. My plan was that when all this custody stuff got handled, that my kids could not stay with their grandparents on the weekends we have my step kids, as I want them to grow together and have a healthy relationship together.
We currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment. It's been a rough 2 years and we have not been able to get into a 3 bedroom house like we wanted to. So space is limited at the moment. But we have always managed to work things out so that the kids we all comfortable and taken care of when it came to sleeping arrangements. My kids are 5 and 7, his are 8 and 9. I know the eldest is getting to the age where he needs his own room and bed separate from his sisters, but not quite yet. I figured that by the time that age comes, we will be in a bigger home so that the boys have a room and the girls have their own.
After talking to my husband about this, I asked him if he knew that those stipulations were made during mediation. He said he did not recall anything being said about it, and that he did make the comment that my kids do have other family they visit with on the weekends, sometimes. His conclusion is that the mediator made these arrangements because there are too many people in a small space. I also know that his ex has been complaining for quite some time that the kids hate having to share beds and she has also made the comments that the kids hate coming over here because of my kids. We take this as her trying to find excuses to keep the kids from coming over here, as she has been trying EVERYTHING to keep them from staying over here! For one thing, my step kids beg to share a bed together when they stay over. And as far as the kids not getting along, they fight over toys and video games, normal behavior for children their age!
What I am wondering is if anyone has had this happen to them before. Is it just that we don't have enough space for 7 people? Or is it possible that things were said so that the ex can separate our family and cause turmoil?