Should the non custodial parent have to pay when the custodial parent refuses access?

Jenn - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I have my own opinion on this but an looking for others to. Do you think that a noncustodial parent should have to continue paying support for a child that the custodial parent refuses to allow them to see? ( minus any situation when allowing access would put that child in danger). I am talking about a parent who really wants to be apart of their child's life but the other parent just down right refuses to "allow" access to that child out of spite?

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Melissa - posted on 12/15/2009

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yes they should have to pay....I only say this bc as the parent not receiving child support you can have the other parent imprisoned for not paying & bc alot of parents "CLAIM" they are being denied access to avoid paying...if you are denied contact, file contempt, that is what I have had to do on one of my children, the courts SHOULD handle it...hopefully you dont have a crappy judge like mine!! God Bless & remember, the child support is to make sure the child is provided for...they need the support whether you see them or not! things are so difficult without the help of child support, I am raising 5 of my 6 kids with no support...it is so hard!

Keya - posted on 12/12/2009

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I think this issue is back and forth. I wish if a parent denied acces you could hold the support money and pay the kids bill yourself, Dr. bills, school bills, it would make that parent work with you for visits cause let's face it alot people use CS the wrong way

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Sherry - posted on 12/14/2009

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child support is not payment for visitation or time with your child. your situation sounds like a contempt of court issue and is easily resolved by contacting your clerk of court ( or attorney) and advising contempt. You can also file a pro sa (do it yourself) contempt of court. The offending party either has to cure the contempt -in this case allow access to the child(ren) or face fines and jail time. the court does NOT take kindly to contempt of court and considers it a serious matter. hope this helps

Amy - posted on 12/14/2009

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this is illegal and remind her she is in violation of a court order and can go to jail. find a lawyer fast. children do not have a dollar a mount on them. for the child support YES you have to pay. if you don't what will the child do with out. if you have to go to court it looks better on you. going though the same thing.

Tammy - posted on 12/13/2009

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Yes I do, it is not the childrens fault that the custodial parent refuses access so why should they be the ones to suffer. Child support does more then give them clothing toys and things they want, it helps the custodial parent with bills that keep a roof over the childs head food on the table and other thing they do need. I grew up in a home where my father lived out state and he rarely paid his support. My sister and I watched my mother struggle daily with bills and trying to pay for my sister and I to have clothing food and other things for girls.

Melissa - posted on 12/13/2009

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Iam one that believes God gives a child to both the mother and the father. Neither should (unless its a dangerous environment) be able to keep the child from seeing the other. Yes check out the laws in your state. Also when the non custodial parent is paying child support it makes it difficult to afford a lawyer to preserve your rights. Look into any groups that may help with this issue. Because unless it says otherwise in a court order of some sorts, each parent has the paternal or maternal rights to their child.

Dina - posted on 12/13/2009

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Now I hate that to the top degree. First I would take her little behind to court and push to see the child. I know it might be stressful or costly BUT if you want to see the child it is truly worth the fight. If he/she pays on time and up to date then there is NO REASON why the custodial parent can't keep thier part of the deal. Push it! Don't let this parent get away with keeping the child from the noncustodial. Best of Luck!

As far as paying I would keep paying. it puts a HUGE dent in your credit if you end up not paying as ordered and on time. And trust me, its not easy to get rid of once it has ranked up! God Bless

Traci - posted on 12/12/2009

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We are in a similiar boat! My ex husband pays a lot in cs for 3 kids plus he pays extra for medical and sports which isnt included in cs. BUT, because of parent alienation on bm part, the kids no longer come to our house. CS is not an option, if it was we would have stopped paying when the kids stopped coming over! And another really sore spot for me is that bm has a wealthly new husband and 2 kids with him and doesnt need to work, whereas, Im on the other side and have to work to pay our bills because of the large amount of cs.

Ila - posted on 12/12/2009

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if you have a parenting plan then the bm can not keep the child from you. if the bm does then the only thing you can do is take the bm back to court and have her held in contempt of court. if you dont have a parenting plan then you need to take the bm to court and get a parenting plan. then she cant keep the child from you because its court order. FYI. where i live fathers that never married the mother have no right but has to pay child support if on bc. so the bm can refuse to allow you to see the child. you have to go to court to establish that he is the father and to get a parenting plan. (found this out because we are fight for custody right now.) this information is so you can do something about it and see that child.

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Oh you dont have to convince me of that part Jenn, I hear you girlfriend. The way I see it tho- as totally unfair as it is- at the end of the day the father can hold his head up knowing he has done the right thing by his kids and can answers their questions as such. But has the mother?? No she hasn't if -for her own reasons which are nothing to do with safety- she has witheld the children's relationship with their father. Wher I live it's been made harder for any paretn to do this as it is law that no one is allowed to interfere with the relatinship of anyone significant in the child's life- this now includes ALL family members (including stpe-parents and half-siblings)

Jenn - posted on 12/11/2009

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I just don't agree with a situation when the mother tells the father she does not want him in his kids life and literally makes life hell for him just because he tries to be in his kids life. Then goes and says "oh but I want your money".! how is that fair or right?! If a parent of a child works so hard to lie and cheat to get the other parent out of their kids life I think that support should go to... want nothing to do with him? fine but that includes HIS money. I know how some BM are.. vindictive and down right evil. They say you cant see the kid but give me your money!!?? Sorry ladies.. I don't agree with that one bit.

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I agree with Shannon- although I personally feel our child support situation is grossly unfair, I know I wouldn't respect my hubby if he didnt pay. They are his children and his responsibility therefore he should pay toward their care. That said, I know some people in this situation and I think it's also grossly unfair for children to be witheld from (safe) parental contact.

Shannon - posted on 12/11/2009

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Children have to be supported regardless. If a parent is not paying support usually the child suffers from it. That being said, parents deserve equal access to their child as long as it is safe. When a child does not have both parents in their lives usually the child suffers from it. I guess that is what courts are for! If you are in that situation or your husband is you should go to court and get visitation so the child does not suffer!

Candice - posted on 12/11/2009

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Being a stepmother who has problems with my husbands ex we have looked into this type of situation and yes you must continue to pay support unless it is not ordered by a court. But on the other hand if you happen to decide not to pay he custodial parent cannot deny you the right to see your child. Just be aware of the laws for behind support because if it is not payed they will take it out of your tax check

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