Stacy - posted on 12/29/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
I don't know where else to turn with this question...We live in Michigan and have a parenting plan in place that requires the children both go to their BM for all regularly scheduled school breaks. My 15 Year old SS loves going there (autistic, and no rules or restrictions while there) , my SD, not so much. There has been a lot of lying, let downs and emotional abuse from her BM, and she has had enough. We have had her in counseling for 2+ years to try to help her deal with these issues, and she has made great strides with us. Every time she tries to talk to her mom about how she is feeling towards her or her actions, anything, her BM makes her feel guilty about how she is feeling instead of taking responsibility and dealing with the issues.
Without fail my SD gets off her required weekly phone contact feeling entirely unsure of herself an how to deal with her BM, and I don't know how to help her. We sit, talk about it, sometimes she cries. She doesn't really want to go spend time with her BM on her breaks, but she goes for her brother.
While she is there, there is apparently all kinds of negative talk going on, and she is made to feel guilty for loving her father and I, and other members of our families. She is also being talked to about going to court and talking to the judge and what she should tell them. The BM has been warned by the courts numerous times to stop this activity, but evidently has not.
I want to help my daughter get through this, any ideas on how I can help her? My heart breaks for her every time she has to deal with any of this and we feel horrible that she has to put up with it, but in Michigan, there is no age where she can say she doesn't want to go....