Step Daughters will not keep their room clean.

Terri - posted on 10/04/2010

Make them keep the common areas clean and close their bedroom door. Your husband is not going to make them or he would have already. Does it really matter? Choose your battles. Until you have your husbands support it WILL create resentment. Continue to make your children do as you always have. Maybe your husband will realize that it is a problem for you and do something about it. However if they have never done it, then understand that it has never been important to him and unlikely that it will change now.

Paula - posted on 09/16/2010

If they don't respect the things you and your husband purchase.... Give it to someone that will. We had that problem with one of my sd not putting away her clothes. We told her the next time the wash is done and she doesn't put her stuff away I would get rid of it. She did not think we would do it so she tested us and gone went her clothes. Then she had to bring stuff from her moms untill she had her birthday and asked people for new ones. We did not replace the ones we got rid of. She always puts her clothes away now.

Dawn - posted on 09/14/2010

agreeable with all my step daugter is 14 and her room is a pig stye take the tv no tv till rm is clean they cant fallow rules then no tv no priviledges

Angela - posted on 09/14/2010

p.s. If that is your only fight with them, is it really worth your stress?

Angela - posted on 09/14/2010

Close the door and don't look at it. My room was a nightmare when I was a kid, and I turned out really well in the cleaning department. Girls are slobs!

Jenn - posted on 09/14/2010

Sounds like Dad isn't being consistent with his rules. He needs to follow through with his rules and if they don't listen, then they don't get to do things they like. He needs to make sure that his kids keep their rooms clean. You have no idea what kind of things can begin to grow in there if it's left dirty. Plus, when it's really dirty, you can never find the things that you need. Do they have places to put things?? A box for toys, room in their closets? Maybe you should suggest a room makeover. Paint it in a way they'd like to have it. Make it look great WHEN IT'S CLEAN - this way, they will see their room looking amazing and most kids would want to keep it looking awesome if they have friends over, especially girls. We love to have friend envy what we have lol.



Here, I have 2 SS's who don't normally clean their rooms unless you stand at the door and watch them do it. We have places to put things and boxes to keep extra toys in that don't always get played with but sometimes, that doesn't always work. My rule is, if it's important and you want to keep it, it better be off the floor when I come in with the vacuum. If it's not, then say goodbye to it. I have thrown several things out because I find them just laying around after asking multiple times for them to be picked up.



Usually, this causes BM to get mad, but I simply tell her, I have asked them to take care of their things, if they don't, then it's obviously not important to them so it must be garbage if it's just left on the floor. I don't believe I'm in the wrong if I have asked multiple times for them to clean and they don't do it, for me to take things into my own hands. If they choose to not do as they're asked, in terms of cleaning their rooms or helping out with things they need to be doing, they will loose something for the day - be it TV, phone, game.



Also, if and when they do decide to clean their rooms, make sure they know how pleased you and their dad are and tell them what a great job they have done. Maybe an allowance for helping around the house would encourage them to get on board and help out more as well.

Kelly - posted on 09/13/2010

Thanks... great advice. That is exactly what I would do if any of my sons acted that way. It doesn't help that their mother doesn't make them clean up after themselves at her house. We have them for 4 days next week so I will see how things work out. I did have a conversation with my husband about it and he is on the same page with me. That always helps.

Chrissy - posted on 09/13/2010

I agree with Elizabeth...I have gone as far with my own kids as taking privileges away until they clean up...IE, DS games, TV privileges, favorite toys....but return them when they are done. It works for me, and the rooms are kept clean!

Eliz - posted on 09/13/2010

First stand your ground. They need to respect your authority. If they have a TV in their room, remove it. They don't need to sit and watch TV instead of clean. Also spend one on one time with them doing special activities that they may enjoy. Find things that will keep them entertained so that they won't spend so much time in their room. They need to feel important but also need to know that they have to be responsible for their stuff. Also, have your husband be the one to remove the TV if it comes down to that and make sure he tells them that it was his decision to do so and not you.