Step-Mom to ADHD girl

Megan - posted on 08/10/2011

its tough i m not going to lie .

Hollie - posted on 05/05/2011

my SK is going to be tested for ADHD! my SK is 5 almost 6 here soon. having signs that it may be a possiblity

Cara-Mae - posted on 10/28/2008

You guys have some good suggestions :> Thanks :>

Christi - posted on 10/28/2008

I think a great way to keep all the kids and family bonded is to start some family traditions. I have 2 stepsons 10 & 15 and then a 3 year old son and an 8 mo old daughter. We have seasonal traditions and we only do them when the whole family is together - like cutting down a Christmas tree, having a party with our friends, reading and acting out the Christmas story from the Bible, an Easter Egg Hunt, reading the same book at Thanksgiving and the reader signs and dates it, etc. Like Cheralee said the kids will feel special and know that they are an important part of the family - no matter what they are told elsewhere. We also have day-to-day traditions we do when the older boys are with us - tell about our day at the dinner table, tell stories before bed and have a special dessert. The kids that are home all the time will look forward to these times too. Step-parenting is really hard but it can be rewarding.

Cheralee - posted on 10/27/2008

I have a 4 year old step son and his mother is much the same. She also is more concerned with making our time with him as difficult as possible regardless of the affect it has on their son. In a situation like this it is hard not to feel like you are continuously hitting a brick wall and it was causing problems for our relationship as well as our relationship with my stepson. In talking to my mom one day when I was truly at my breaking point she gave me some very good advice. She also went through these issues with my half brother and much of the problems were the things he was being fed by his mom's family. She told me that if you spend your whole time fighting to change his mother (a losing battle), you are allowing yourself to miss opportunities to embrace him. Maybe you need to take your stepdaughter to do something special, just the two of you. Include her in as much as you can and use your time with her to focus on your family with her and maybe even give her a little extra attention, especially at first. Kids know what they feel regardless of what they hear and she is coming to an age that she will be old enough to see things for herself.

User - posted on 10/25/2008

It sounds like you're doing the best that you can. I too have an 8 year old step daughter and I know what challenges that can pose. Keep providing her with a positive influence and assure her how much she's loved. Be sure that you don't speak negatively about her mother and reinforce that she is just as much a part of your family as your son is. I've had to do a lot of that with my step daughter. We live on the other side of the world from her for now, so things are a bit more challenging, but I continue to tell her how much she's loved and cared for. Keep trying!