Step mom vs. real mom

Karen - posted on 08/07/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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In this case I am the step mom, the "real" mom is confusing the heck out of me!!!! I am the step mom of 3 beautiful kids', 1 boy-8, and twin girl's-10! They are great kid's, and have NO problems with them. Their mother say's she can't control them, and she has more problem's with them than I have ever seen. We have won the custody battle, the kid's will be living here with in hopefully 2 week's. Well their mother put the girl's on PINS. They have been on pins for about 6 week's, and it's a farce!!!! Well today we had to go to a meeting for the girl's, so all adult's had to be present. She is such a fake, and put on the biggest show ever, about how bad the kid's are, and how she has seen a difference in them that is out of her hand's. The kid's don't want to live with her, they hate her boyfriend, and they have taken off from her at least 2 times a week to come over here! Over there they have no t.v. no games, and all they do is clean her house, because she is so tired from her part time job, and she say's the kid's need to learn responsiability. When they are here, they pick up after them selves, and are great. We have theme night's where one night will be movie night, one night will be game night, another game will be walking night so on so forth. Any how not to air all the dirty laundry, but if you have ever seen her house it's really gross. The kid's have begged her to clean up cat poop, that they have found on their bed's, and she tell's them later, i'm tired. It was 3 day's before the kid's could sleep in their bed's! So any way my opinion is that they are that unhappy over there, and don't wan't to be there, that they act out. What do you think? Are they defiant, and out of control, or is she not realizing the truth? Every time we have to be in the same room with her, she put's on this show of how much she want's happiness for her kid's, but when we are out of the eye's of the people that matter she is a b----! Is it me, or is she messed up? Am i being over dramatic? Confused Step mom!

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Jeanie - posted on 08/25/2009

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I think it's great that the kids will be coming to live with you. My 2 step kids live with me and their dad. Bio mom never wants to be involved in anything. But, like your situation, she acts like she's mom of the year around others. She never comes to doctor's appts. but, when me and my hubby fill her in she gets steamed that I took them and made the decisions. My SS is 11 and has down syndrome. He goes to a state school and she doesn't even know where it is! She doesn't bother coming to his special olympics events either. My SD is 14, BM will come to some of her concerts, but never to doctor, dentist, or parent/teacher conferences. She put the kids thru hell this summer during her visitation.

Bonnie - posted on 08/25/2009

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The judge did make the right choice because Karen shows more love to her three step childern. She is a super good Mom to her own daughter

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2009

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Sounds like she is messed up and not coping. Kids do tend to act up more with the custodial parent (I know this about my 17 year old stepdaughter - we don't get the behaviour her mother gets), but some of what you have described sounds to me the kids have good reason to not want to be there. How has she reacted to the kids coming to live with you? It really does sound like she can't cope with it all.

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