Step moms and real moms sharing their veiws *NEW COMMUNITY*

Sherri - posted on 09/02/2009

For the bio mom in my life, I think she just likes to try to maintain power and control.... of every situation.



I'm well aware that she can't handle see seeing me have "her family", but that's just it.... she did it to herself. When you have 3 affairs on your husband and you treat your kid like crap, you're going to pay the price for that. I guess the biggest problem is that in her mind-she's not doing anything wrong and it's everyone else's fault (including her son)

Karen - posted on 09/01/2009

Sherri,

Thats exactly my point... she has not moved on from the "relationship" (I use the term lightly), that she had with your husband. She can't handle seeing what you have... her family. I am not saying that she is IN LOVE with your husband still, or ever really was. I think more often than not, it's a case of "I don't want him, but no one else can have him either".... these ladies want to have their cake and eat it too.

And I am definately not saying that your husband has not gotten over her!

Sherri - posted on 09/01/2009

Quoting Karen:

I am bio mom to a 10 year old who also has a step mom (as well as a step brother and half brother on dad's side)... I'm also step mom to a 14, 13 (per her request, her not being bio is a secret to anyone outside our family), and 10 year old.
I strongly believe that problems with the ex/bio are simply because they haven't moved on and let go. My son's dad and I have a great friendship, and I get along great with his wife...

Hi Karen,

I'm a SM to a 12 year old SS.  I have nothing to do with his mother.  At first, I tried.  We'd hang out, we went shopping together, girls nights, etc.  We didn't even have a "fight".  She said some troubling comments to me over the course of a couple of months and I started slowly pulling away.  We (my husband and I) ahve tried sitting down with her and her boyfriend... nothing.  I invited her to my SS's b-day party, picked her up and everything.  She spent an hour at the party (most of that text messaging with her cell phone) and then left before cake, presents or anything else. 

My SS lives with us full time (hasn't seen his egg donor since the beginning of May) and this wonderful woman gives everyone grief.... I've gone out of my way numerous times (even to go as far as to have my husband call her and invite her to go with just my husband to the parent-teacher meeting-which she did not attend) and at every turn she's doing something malicious to her son or us. 

For those of you out there that can get along, all the power to you.  I guess it's not for everyone!

Karen - posted on 08/30/2009

I am bio mom to a 10 year old who also has a step mom (as well as a step brother and half brother on dad's side)... I'm also step mom to a 14, 13 (per her request, her not being bio is a secret to anyone outside our family), and 10 year old.

I strongly believe that problems with the ex/bio are simply because they haven't moved on and let go. My son's dad and I have a great friendship, and I get along great with his wife... I'm headed to their son's birthday party today with my own kids... there is no animosity, jealousy, etc. There have been a few times in the 5 years they have been together that I have had to remind her and him both that I am mom and he is dad and choices are between us... point being, it's not always perfect... but because we aren't stuck on what went wrong, who did who wrong, etc. we parent our son very well together.

The egg donor on the other hand... has tried to cause problems every chance she has gotten. It's never about the kids with her... and even my husband falls into this pit at times and gets into the "choices she made". She is upset about what she walked out on and doesn't want me in the pictures... she has told the kids she could come back if I weren't here (she was gone for 4 years prior to us ever meeting), that I'm the reason she never talked to them cause I woudln't let her, etc.... but she has also tried telling me she was sleeping with my husband, and been arrested at my house twice for starting a physical fight with me.

Tiffany - posted on 08/27/2009

I am a Stepmom of an 8 year old boy.His BM hates me and I have a restraining order against her because she assaulted me in February of 2008.She has hated me since before I ever got with my Fiance who I have now been with for 2 and a half years.I never knew this woman before getting with my man,nor had I ever seen what she looked like or even spoken to her or of her.To me she was a nobody.One day I was on my man's myspace about 3 years ago (before him and I had gotten together) and she had written a couple nasty comments about me on his page.At that point in time I realized who she was and I really haven't cared for her since.I am not a bad peson nor a bad Stepmom.I have morals which I live by.I work for a living and am a resposible person.Needless to say I'm not some white trash woman with no standards or morals set for herself.I treat her son with respect and am always nice to him when he's around.I take care of him the way any mother should.I just don't understand her.They have known eachother since middle school and are now both at the age of 29.They were on and off for 13 years but have been separated for 8 years now.She is re married with 3 other children.I understand they have a history together but why is it she hates me so much before I ever knew who she was?It's been nothing but DRAMA ever since I got with my man.All I know is I never signed up for that.I just don't get it...if she hasn't been with him for 8 years and counting and she's re married and what-not...why is it she hates me sooo much???I have never done a single thing to her to give her a reason to hate me from the beginning.If I've done anything to piss her off it's standing up for myself and saying things to her she hasn't liked too much.Sometimes the truth can hurt...owell.That's just life!Any advice?