Barby - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )
ive been with my man for 6 years his kids were 5 &3 when we got together (my son was also 3)
we've had many problems with the kids going home& reporting private conversations to their mother who would critisise me then phone my husband to demand change!
one tear i was in the bathroom quietly wiping tears away on my hubby's birthday because my hubby was roude to my son on. my husband came to the door & brought this to everyone's attention by doing so.
she called & said i was being mean by making her kids uncomfortable.
when his son was 4 he told his mom he didnt want to come over anymore because i had asked him not to stand on my couch- she said this was valid & i was out of line.
this became a post child visit weekly problem. i was getting so stressed out even before they were in our home wondering what indiscression would get us an undeserved call here.
then she'd yell at my hubby, he'd be stressed then he'd yell at me cause he was tired of hearing it.
they even stood on the other side of our closed bedroom door & reported what they heard back home!
i talked to them & let them know the kind of affect they were having on us & said that i understood their mother's encouragement & negativity wasn't there fault, but they were old enough now to understand & stop contributing.
i told them that if they didnt like me that was ok but i wont spend the rest of my life being treated that way & neither should my son. (the step had been belting my son whenever he thought nobody was looking amongst other things, this also wasnt descouraged by his mom )
They are 11 & 13 now.
to their credit they appologised (without being asked) & things have been great
until this weekend
my step was playing xbox & out 2 year old wanted to play & he said no i asked him to share twice before i went in and got the controller out & set up the littel one(by then he lost interst & walked away) the my 10 year old came & asked if he could play, the step son said "no. you can watch"
then i said hand over the remote. to my step i said you'r not sharing so your time today is done.
well he went home later & told his mom he didnt want to come back because i was screaming at him (or she said i was screaming) either way, we got the traditional phonecall & teh fight was on
i cant go through that routine again. my step son knew exactly what would happen.
heaven forbid i should ask the child to share!