Adrienne - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have a dilemma and I'm not quite sure if what I'm going through is normal...
I have a 13 yr old stepson and a newborn son of 3 months. During my pregnancy, my feelings towards my stepson has changed. Especially since my husband would tell his son all my personal feelings and insecurities and secrets. Also, the feelings that I have towards my son has ust totally blown me away.
Since giving birth, my stepson's behavior has driven me absolutly crazy. When I do something for my son, he gets pouty and whines that he didn't get that when he was a baby. His father only gets involved with my son when HIS son is either at his mom's or if he's asleep. I have tried to include my stepson in my son's life, however it always turns into something about him (stepson) also, I don't really trust my stepson anymore around my son. When he was still a newborn, he would hold my son but forget to support his head. It got to the point that the only time or way my stepson could hold my son is if someone was sitting right beside him to hold my son's head. My stepson too has always been slow (not mentally handicapped slow, just...well, turtle slow LOL) and he has been, up to now, used to being the only focus of attention. He lives with us full time and his mother spoils him rotten (attention-wise). We're the "strict" parents and he plays that card to his mom and his grandparents. My hubby knows that he's acting out some jealousy but hasn't addressed the issue and won't bring it up when we talk. I don't like feeling this way because my son is missing out on valuable bonding time with my stepson...but is it normal to just...not trust him? And it's been about 6-7 months that I feel as if I'm going through the motions of being a stepmom...not just because of my maternal feelings that exploded...but because of his attitude that just disgusts me...
Has anyone else gone through this?