Lisa - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )
Ok, so here's the deal... husband paid child support for years as ordered by the courts, then when stepson was 9 he came to live w/us... husband & ex agreed to stop the child support & had order changed with the court... when stepson went back to live w/biomom @ age 15 the child support was to stay the same... Notta... but about a 1 1/2 years ago she came to him saying that b/c of her most recent divorce her financial situation was crap again & just didn't know what else to do... that she'd talked to state about assistance & they'd already told her that if applied for assistance would come after my husband for child support again... so she was asking if could come to agreement for support... we played w/all the #'s & came to find out that if went through the state again it would cost double what we could financially afford for support & then we'd be the ones broke as a joker. So we came to agreement w/her for support between us/her & did not submit to the court. In fact, my husband never actually signed the agreement.
Now here's where it really gets interesting... my stepson turned 18 a few mths ago & graduates from high school in a few mths... keep in mind there is NO I repeat NO court order that says we have to pay anything... we have talked to an atty where she lives & he has told us that if we stop paying there's nothing legally she can do b/c in the court's eyes there is no support due... that if she had wanted to modify the court order for supp she would have had to do so b4 he turned 18 & she didn't... so do we continue to pay?? or tell her to stuff it?? up to this point we have continued to pay b/c feel obligated morally, not legally, but it's just getting to the point that we feel that we shouldn't continue to pay, that she should be able to take care of herself... especially since she has again remarried (#3 for her)... we've thought of maybe sending him (my stepson) money direct instead of sending to biomom & then if he wants to give to her that's up to him, but just don't know... we've talked about stopping the pymts completely many, many times, but know that all heck will break loose if do so... any advice/comments would be greatly appreciated.