Still stealing.... suggestions?

H.J - posted on 12/28/2010

Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine... take the thing he values the most and see how he feels when he can't find it...that way he learns how it makes others feel when he steals.

Sherri - posted on 12/28/2010

Nope-it was ME he stole it from. Brand new, never played.

Angele - posted on 12/28/2010

I would make him go return the game to the store. It would be very humilating to him and might teach him a lesson. The company might even want to press charges. Maybe he needs the crap scared out of him

Sherri - posted on 12/22/2010

My SS's had a talking to by the authories..... didn't work. Today we found out that he stole a $60.00 video game last week. UGH!

Michelyn - posted on 12/21/2010

My cousin took her son down to the police station after he stole $20 from her purse. Walked up to the counter and had her friend(who her son does not know) take him into a back room and talk to him about the consequenses of stealing and then left him in a cell for half hour to think about their conversation. This was a year ago and he's nver stolen anything again (to our knowledge).

Melanie - posted on 12/12/2010

here's something i learned about my ss's. they have a fantastic fairy tale ideal of what "parents" roles should be. when something goes wrong with one of the parents, the child will often take it out on the other parent. deep inside, we will hurt the ones we love the most because we know they will forgive us, and that goes for any human being. so when my stepkids would act out, i would always assume it was something with bm. has he ever told you why he steals? making him pay for the things he has stolen is a good way to go, but i would make a bill for him and how much he owes so he can see that it all adds up. post it where it can be seen (keep copies elsewhere). make sure he knows that it's not a secret that he is stealing things but that it won't be tolerated. or find a way to translate the monetary value of things to chores-$2 for taking the trash out, $3 for washing dishes or something like that. no one likes hard labor, most of all kids. so make him do chores as punishment. if he refuses to do the chores, then take his money. most importantly, don't take it as a personal vendetta against you. i've learned as a stepmom that i will ALWAYS be the scapegoat since i am the outsider (in their eyes). they will always blame me first before either of their parents. but i'm ok with that since i know that i have been good to them and they have wanted for nothing. good luck.

Sherri - posted on 12/02/2010

His dad doesn't have an opinion other than he doesn't know what to do. His dad grew up with 3 sister, all are very balanced and well adjusted, his mother was a homemaker and his dad worked 9-5 and both of his parents were caring, active and loving parents. When it comes to my SS and his mother, my husband usually differs to my judgement (having been there and done that). I let him run with it for a while and he tried traditional methods like rewards systems, timeouts (when my SS was younger), it was his idea to make my SS pay to replace what he stole with his paper route money, but otherwise, he has NO clue. He's a very logical person and has a really hard time wrapping his head around how my SSs relationship with his BM translates into stealing at our house. Don't get me wrong, he listens to my SS when he's upset and tries very hard, but at the end of the day, he can't relate. I've explained this to my SS and he knows that his dad tries, but can't understand and I gave him an example that would directly relate to his life. I told him if a sea cadet came to you and complained about the rules and the rules were NOTHING like in the army cadets, you can understand the frustration, but would have a hard time giving them advice, never having been to sea cadets. He completely got it and told his dad it wasn't his fault that he doesn't understand. It was very cute. So when things go bad with my SSs mother, it's my job to connect with my SS and make sense of what's going on and tell him that it isn't his fault and my husband tells him that it sucks and he's sorry that my SSs going through that and then plays a game with him or watches a movie with him. We both have our roles I guess.

Vanessa - posted on 12/02/2010

What does his dad say about all of this?

Sherri - posted on 12/02/2010

He came to me all like "soooooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyy". I decided with all of those that I have heard, I was gonna make him sweat this time and told him that I'm not sure with all of the lies he tells that I should believe him. I said "you constantly throw out a half hearted sorry and then steal within a week". Then, he started protesting that he doesn't. I was sick of it. I told him that if he isn't even going to accept responsibility and continue to lie about his actions, I wouldn't accept his apology. He said "whatever" and left the room. 5 minutes later, he wants something from me and I told him forget it and he SLAMMED the door. This kid REALLY doesnt like to reap what he sews.

Chrissy - posted on 12/02/2010

I wouldn't buy anymore "junk" for him until he can respect what your rules are. Treat him like you would a 5 yr old, reward good behavior and let him know that you are going to do this until he gives you the respect that you should have.