Jacquelynn - posted on 03/23/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
I have a 14yr old SS who, I believe, resents me for being with his father. BM and DH divorced 6yrs ago. BM left and SS still has hope for the reuniting. I didn't come into picture until 3 1/2 yrs ago. But he still acts like I took his father from mother. I have tried to be nice to him and we have had pretty good conversations. It seems like as soon as I think things are going good it backfires. SS goes through these phases where he just has total attitude and I want to go upside his head.
My house is in an up roar most of the time. I have two SSs 12 and 14, two BSs 12 and 7, and one BD 1yr. My DH and I both feel that he needs to stay with us, but at times I want to send him back to BM. BM is not stable. My DH works and I stay at home so I deal with them all the time. He gets frustrated because he is trying to provide a stable and loving home for his children. I feel bad because I am really trying to do the best I can, but I think that it is too little too late. They were never really raised with responsibility. When my youngest SS was diagnosed with diabetes that made things worse. The BM felt bad and they were given any and everything they wanted. I understand the situation, but you can't buy a cure. I knew he needed, even more so, to be responsible.
When they came to actually live with us it was hell. Anything I asked them to do they would ask my son to help them with. They asked for help with the simplest thing as sweeping the floor or taking out the garbage.They don't even know how to make their beds properly, well they do but they just don't. My son was not used to that, he did everything himself cuz there was no one else. I feel they are too old for me to try to undo all the bad habits, but I want my house cleaned.