time off

Tori - posted on 04/22/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a full time working mom, student and wife. On the rare occasions that somebody actually take both of my boys for an extended stay of over 24hrs, my husband still wants our SS to still come over on his schedule week. Am I wrong for not wanting any kids at the house when my biologicals are gone?

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Jodi - posted on 04/25/2009

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Sorry, I also meant to add, I also work (I run my own business and help my hubby with his), but it really does pay to work a schedule together. You need to talk to your husband to schedule your family's time. It took my husband and I some time to work this out, but our schedule is perfect now...... (we now have one biological child between us, but we didn't always). One week we have all the kids, the next week we have only our toddler. But it DID take a lot of communication between my husband and myself. Don't argue over it, but do discuss it together. You need to consider it a 'family' decision rather than and 'individual' decision.

Jodi - posted on 04/25/2009

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Actually, in my opinion, if your husband has a SCHEDULED week with his child, then I do think it is unreasonable. I have 2 step children, and 2 biological children, and if there is a schedule, you both need to respect and commit to that. I am speaking from experience, and life is much more peaceful if you can schedule with each other rather than against each other. It also does your marriage wonders.....

Alichia - posted on 04/24/2009

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BM has worked it out that she and her boyfriend are on the same kid schedule. When she has her kids, he has his kids. Then every other weekend they get time alone, whild thier kids are off at the other parents house.

Maybe you can try to work out something like that. SK's seem to like it, and understand that their mom seems to be a lot happier with that kind of schedule.

It is really funny because she will fight us tooth and nail to never change that arrangement that she worked out with her boyfriend.

Michelle - posted on 04/23/2009

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Jamie i don't think it selfish at all, to be good parents we need to have time to do the things that we enjoy so we can relax and be happy. If we aren't recharged how are we supposed to find the energy to care for all those who need us?

if mum isn't right then the family isn't i say!

In the long run it benefits everyone. i love all my kids bio and step but i love my time without them too,we all need things to look forward to in life. i look forward to them going for a few days, then i look forward to them coming home again!

Jamie - posted on 04/22/2009

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Nope, I think the feeling is normal. I have Mondays off every week but my kids still go to school. I dont like when my SS is there, basically its the only time DH and I have alone. So when BM asks for SS to stay the extra time I flat out say no unless shes going to pay the daycare for during the day. Thats my time, yes its probably a little selfish but I think its better to be honest then possibly have an attitude towards my SS for being there.

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