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To share or not to share MY pic's?

Judi - posted on 05/28/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

Ok so what would you do?

My step son has not seen his BM in four years. She has a myspace and now a facebook and has copied pic's off from my facebook acct.(Which i have now figured out how to set to private so that she cannot do this any more) She not only copied two of my SS pic's but she also copied a pic of him and my daughter..UGH!!!! I want to tell her to delete them but, I feel bad that she has not seen him in four years and deserves to have up to date photos once and a while but she does not have the right to copy one of him & my daughter...the caption that she put on that phone of him and my daughter is "this is my son & his step sister !!!!) which if you ask me they are brother & sister we do not state them as STEP brother or sister they have been together for 11years.

What to do confront her and start an issue or just leave it alone and not fall into her trap of being negative and starting a fight which is very childish. I hope that i have finally fixed my facebook so that she cannot see any more photos or ect.

My SS has a FB and I set his to private as well and asked him if she asked him to be her friend what did he want me to do and he said ignore her. He really does not want anything to do with her photos or phone calls he does not like it and just wishes that she would leave him alone..
Any advise would be welcomed..

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Brandie - posted on 05/29/2009

sorry to say but your putting up pics of her son... and she put up a pic of your daughter that you had very public on the net... whats the big deal...

Judi - posted on 05/29/2009

Thank you for all of your great advise. I would love to send the BM a comment on myspace but do not want to get sucked into the negative things. But I would love to have her delete the pic of my daughter. I do not sent her any pic's of my SS so I have come to be fine with her having those. I did set my Facebook account to private and nobody can find me. I tried to block her but cannot find her either.

Someday I am hoping (but doubt it will happen) that she would accept me as an equal. She is very jealous of me so I do not think that will ever happen. That is why there would be a war over the pic's.

Thanks again for the great advise.

Penny - posted on 05/28/2009

1,838

I would just ignore her or send her pictures via another email account as some ladies suggested. The problem with writing people on facebook is it gives them access to your account. This person from my past sent me a note and at the bottom was a comment that said if I wrote them back they would have access to my account for a month as I had access to theirs. You can also always block her from your facebook account. I think if you do they can't even search for you. My facebook and myspace are on private and BM my way still found me. I had posted a pic of me and SD and she had a fit! Sent an email to my hubby and told him I needed to take it off because there are child predators out there looking for pics of kids. Anywho.. good luck your way!

Kimi - posted on 05/28/2009

484

Well I don't have a problem shareing photos with BM as long as they are only of my SD. I sent her back to her BM's with a framed portrait for mothers day because SD is too young to buy gifts right now. BM sees SD just as often as I do so she can take them herself, but anytime we do profesional portraits we buy some for BM and every year or two we will give her a disk of our favorite snap shots. I'm hopeing we will get a disk from BM as well but I think I'm a better photographer anyway.

Just ask her to take down the one with your daughter and e-mail her a few of SS alone to keep the peace. You may want to ask SS if he is ok with that first though.

Bailey - posted on 05/28/2009

well im sorry that that happened with tthe photos. talk to her and ask her why is it so important that she ahve the photos? has she ever asked for school photos? do you ever send her random photos in the mail of him. and regardless she is his bm and that will never change. just aske her to remove the photos if she makes it a big deal just drop it because i know from experince that things with mysoace and such can get really messy. we actually had to have a judge get approval from both parents as to what/how many photos our bm can post of our son. its gonna be a very sticky situation. in the end the bm needs to understand that was your private account and that she is not authorized to use those photos. face book has a policy asking if you have the right to use these photos. she definately does not and you can use that against her.

Catrina - posted on 05/28/2009

163

You have a right to ask her to remove the photo of your daughter. To try and play it safe, I'd crop the photo to exclude your daughter. Then send her that so she could post it if she felt the need. I'd just explain that it makes you uncomfortable that you aren't aware of who has access to those photos.

As far as the "step sister" comment...hate to state it - but she's being technical. She doesn't have a connection with her own son, so she's putting that same distanced relationship between your SS and your daughter. Our BM does not even acknowledge the 3 boys here - 2 of which are blood to my SK's and my oldest is there Step Brother. I know the technical parts. We do not discriminate or categorize who's who and who's allowed the title of sibling.

But either way, it could be something to be put aside just as your SS has done.

Devon - posted on 05/28/2009

250

i wouldn't say anything to her. if your step son wants nothing to do with her, then don't worry about it. ask her to at least delete the pic of your daughter and ss. that is just rude of her to put that one up.

Jaime - posted on 05/28/2009

769

I would try not to worry about it. I know from personal experience how you can get sucked into the battle with BM and it is totally not worth your time or any effort. If she hasn't seen him in 4yrs when would see want pictures of him anyway?? and to included on of your daughter I would be pretty perturbed. I may just send her a message asking her to delete the pic with your daughter in it, other than that take a lesson from your SS and just leave her alone. Don't open that can of worms......