What is your schedule with the kids

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2009

My husband got full custody of his two children when his wife left him for another man.  She was an alcoholic and wanted nothing to do with them (still wants very little to do with them-doesn't go to sporting events, take them places other than to buy their love with gadgets and video game systems).  So they only go to their mom's about 4 hours once a week and every other weekend until we pick them up Sunday's at 6pm.  My ex and I have joint custody of my 9 year old, so we literally split M-R in half - each keeping her overnight on our nights, and also alternating weekends (again, staying Sunday night on our respective weekends).

Leaha - posted on 02/10/2009

My oldest step-daughter lives out of state and is a very sticky situation, we never get to see her, even with a court order, we only see her if we're lucky, once a year. My 7 year old step-daughter and 2 year old step-son we have for two hours on tuedays and thursdays and then friday till sunday every other weekend. My 8 year old is with her dad every Monday-Wednesday and everyother weekend and with me Wednesday- Friday and everyother weekend. We have it worked out too that we have them all on the same weekends and then are kid free the opposite weekend, (wich is nice :-) ), but my bio-daughter hates being at her dads, so we're curentyly going through a custody battle again. :-( sigh.

Abby - posted on 02/10/2009

Quoting Jeanine:

I don't think it is the schedule that matters orhow often you have them, we have our SD 50/50, which works really great for us! I think what is important is that it is consistent!! That is key in their life, switching it up very week or changing every month to suit the needs of either parent is NOT looking out for the best interest of the child.We must all remember that WE are Step-Parents or parents first and people with lives outside of our chilrden second! 

Relax, I just mean one more night here or there.  They are little, 3 and 5 and are just fine as long as they are warned.  We have a rule that we need to ask each other before getting a sitter.  Also she has no problem letting us keep them longer for a vacation or something.  I am very happy to keep my kids an extra night because she has to work late or whatever.  Better than getting some neighborhood kid to watch them.

Alicia - posted on 02/10/2009

When my ss was younger and we lived closer we had him everyother weekend unless something came up and he couldn't stay w/ us then we would have him the weekend we could get him and the next weekend.  If he was off school and our schedules allowed we would have him more often.  Now that we have moved about 4 hours away and he is older and in sports it a little more difficult.  We try to get him at least 1 weekend a month, during Christmas break and a month in the summer.  Please keep in mind that just because we don't physically have him we don't know whats going on.  His dad (my husband) gets updates via e-mail from school regarding his grades, he goes on scout over nights w/ him and talks to him on the phone, facebook, e-mail, and myspace.  Just in every relationship communication is the key componant.  My ss does have a male figure in his life when dad can not be but nobody over steps the authority of the other person we all know that "mom and dad" make the final decision and they talk about things that need to have that decision made.  Their big decision right know is a vehicle for him and do they purchase one if so what kind you know all that fun stuff when you have children that are going to be 16.  I have my own opinion and I have expressed that to my husband, but it has to be a decision he and his ex makes.  Now when it comes to our girls thats a different story...LOL

Tanya - posted on 02/09/2009

We have mySD's every other weekend or so is the schedule.  As my boyfriend works on the road occasionally we do miss some weekends, but the girls always know that they are welcome at our house even when he is gone. My youngest goes to her dad's every other weekend as well so when we do have the girls they are all at our house at the same time.

We get a couple weeks in the summer and a week at Christmas as well.  There has been a few occasions where mom has had to go out of town so the SD's have stayed with us.  Always nice to have them around.  It is also nice that we only live about 15 or so blocks away from each other so they drop by unexpected all the time.

Penny - posted on 02/09/2009

My SD lives out of state so we see her for a weekend visit once a month during the school year, up where she lives, alternating her Thanksgiving/Spring Break/Christmas/New Years holidays in our state and this year we get her for 4 days in June, 4 days in July, and 4 days in August. Next summer it's a week in each summer months, the following summer two weeks in each month and finally the summer after that for 6 weeks in the summer. Complicated.. yes but it will be worth it.

Jeanine - posted on 02/09/2009

I don't think it is the schedule that matters orhow often you have them, we have our SD 50/50, which works really great for us! I think what is important is that it is consistent!! That is key in their life, switching it up very week or changing every month to suit the needs of either parent is NOT looking out for the best interest of the child.We must all remember that WE are Step-Parents or parents first and people with lives outside of our chilrden second! 

Abby - posted on 02/09/2009

We are on a 5 5 2 2 schedule.  Huh??

We have them every wed and thur and every other weekeend, she has them every mon and tues and every other weekend.

We are very flexable and seem to change for each other about once a month but this is what we go back to.

Jennifer - posted on 02/08/2009

We have my step-daughter (who is 8) Monday to Friday...Monday's my husband or I pick her up @ school & we have her till we drop her off @ school on Friday morning. Her mom picks her up Friday @ school & has her till her step-dad drops her off @ school Monday morning. It works for us.

Sherri - posted on 02/08/2009

when the kids were little same thing - then big bad step mom got involved and thought that didn't seem fair - kids have a right to know both parents - not just one!  the kids are here 50/50, except for my stepson who is here (by his choice) about 75%.

Dawn - posted on 02/07/2009

Every other weekend at our house too.  Wednesday is sometimes him taking the kids to dinner.