Erin - posted on 10/12/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )
Our family, and my husband before that, has been visiting my SD at her home in PA while we live in central NC, a seven hour drive. We go up every month to have our one weekend, stay with his mother who also lives up there, and drive to get her and usually drop her off. She has never lived with him (other then before the divorce when she was one) or us down here. We have been talking with her about it, and we even told her we have a room for her to use as hers when shes visiting, and she seems excited about the room and now that she is almost nine, we feel she should be comfortable enough to spend the summers with us, maybe a week during winter breaks and what ever else is normal out of state visitation so we don't have to drive up every month. She seems very comfortable with us, a little distant perhaps, but we've been dealing with her being alienated from her father for the past year on and off. her mother hates him, and us, is mad he made a family without her and blames him for everything bad in her life, and his daughter knows how her mother feels. Its been a roller coaster just to have peace with bio mom. Bio mom insists that my SD is still uncomfortable with us and doesn't want to come visit at all. My DH has talked to my SD about this and told her she doesn't HAVE to come if she doesn't want to, that it is up to her and that he never wants her to feel bad about anything. She was just quiet. I don't know who to believe, She says she wants to come, her mom says shes scared. Should we get the court order changed so we have her here despite what Bio mom says? Or should we wait?