When the real mom is acting like the "step mom"

Tamara - posted on 04/21/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have three wonderful step children and the woman that gave birth to them is completly awful to them. It kills me to see them so hurt by her. How do you keep your cool when all you want to do is smack her?

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Katie - posted on 05/01/2009

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What ever you do don't let the kids see you lose your cool. Because reguardly of how she treats them...she is still (maybe unfortunatly) their mother and like it or not if they hear you doing or saying something bad about her..they are morelikely to stick up for her, causing tention with you.

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Ami - posted on 04/30/2009

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As they grow up you have to not let them see you lose your cool towards the bio parent. They child has to see it for themselves. Our daughter is now 18 and understands that her bio mom was not their for her like she should have been. More than once I wanted to call her bio mom & rip into her.. but most of the time I kept my cool and just tried to go with the flow. If you lose our cool then the child feels like they are in the middle of picking sides. No matter how angry or upset you are with the bio parent, don't make the child pick sides. Even inadvertintly.

Joanna - posted on 04/30/2009

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i dont keep my cool i just let her know how i feel. keeping it in is what makes you mader

Randee - posted on 04/22/2009

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I am in the same situation, and it has become more apparent that their mother is doing all that she can to avoid situations with us, including tricking the kids in to canceling birthday parties!!!!! I grew up in a home with a mother as hateful as her and I relate to the kids so much! The oldest daughter is starting to catch on and I am waiting for the day that she calls her mother on it. Have you seen/hear of that happening?

Brooke - posted on 04/22/2009

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hey i Know how you are feeling. Ive been with my partner 4 a yr n a half now and he has 2 children 2 a stupid cow. myself and him have just taken custody of them and its the best thing ever. I hated seeing how she treated the kids when she had them espically his little girl. They mum has a drug addiction which dosent help. All i think is at the moment they are so young so they wouldnt really understand but i know as they get older they will see what she has done and still doing to them both and they will make there own mind up but it is hard and it puts a heap of strain on the relationship. I actually did get into a fight with my partners ex one day as i had it with her junkie ways and it felt so good but i knew it was wrong. Really you cant do any thing but be there for them and they will make there own mind up one day. Its said a mother is not the person who gives birth but the person who is there no matter what they do in life and thats what i believe. I no his kids see me as a mother figure and im happy they do. Good luck with the situation and i hope it all works out for you all

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