WOW How much can one person really take???

Dolores (Loli) - posted on 07/30/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Me & DH have been together for 8 years married now for 3 1/2 yrs. I have 1 BD and 2 SD 15 & 11, and 1 SS 12yrs. So all these years I have dealt with the constant defiance of SD 11, now last month she has been diagnosed with psychosis schizophrenia. My DH has always babied this 11 yr old who is not biologically his and I guess feels like he needs to overcompensate b/c BM wants nothing to do with any of my SK's. I am also 6 1/2 months pregnant with our only child together and I am really concerned about my mental health in all of this. My older SK are wonderful children love them to death and respect me b/c they know how horrid their BM is. Those 2 even dislike the 11 SD even though I tell them not too but it is the resentment against their BD I think they are more mad at b/c he has always been closer to her then his own BK.

My DH and I have continously argued about 11 SD and how she is disrespectful to him and me and when I bring up an issue he always adds to the conversation that my BD has done wrong in the past, which has no relevance at the time of the conversation. He seems to get defensive with me and brings in my BD to even up the badside of both girls. My BD has a rotten attitude & I discipline her about the attitude too but she has never been disrespectful to my DH nor me and she doesn't go to school telling lies about me hitting her just so CPS can come to my house to try and do something. YUP thats right in the past year my 11 SD has gone to school with lies and CPS has been to my house 4 times this year alone. Of course all cases were dropped but that still PO me off.

I love my DH but honestly if he is always going to defend 11 yr SD and treat me like I am just picking on her because she is not biologically his and that my BD is just as bad and a child w psychosis then REALLY do I need to put not only my BD but my newborn through all this stress? The years have been very trying for me and I am on anxiety meds and blood pressure meds too (I am only 30) I have talked and explained to my DH how I feel and things get better for a month or so then it goes right back to the same agrument as always! UGH It seems like a never ending cycle I love my other SK so much and I know it would tear them and my BD apart for me to leave but I can't take it anymore. Where do I draw the line??

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Tara Lee - posted on 07/31/2010

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I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't tell you what to do. But you really need to sit down and think of all your choices. You need to take care of you first, otherwise, you wont be any good to ANY of the children. Have you tried individual and/or family counseling? Is your SD in counseling? Maybe if not, you might try that first before making a life changing decision. I have not been through as bad a situation as yours, but our family has been through some rough times were I felt at my end and was ready to leave. In the end I stayed, and I wont lie, it was very hard and emotionally stressful. But I decided, I loved my DH and SKs enough to go all the way. And now we are great. (don't get me wrong, it took years).
I hope everything works out. Good Luck!

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