Does anyone else have a Step Daughter who acts MARRIED to her Father???

Kristy - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I have a 14yr old step daughter who I swear would have sex with her own father if he would. I have never seen anything like this. She makes statements like, "Heres Our Song, Daddy" It was WONDERFUL TONIGHT, by Eric Clapton. Shes said I, Me THE WIFE, is trying to Break her and him up. its sooooo gross. I walked in one day and she had on rap music and she was trying to grind on his leg, like shes a stripper. Shes already been pregnant, has anose ring, and can do NO wrong in his eyes, but MY 12 yr old, has good grades is beautiful, she has an opporunity to model, shes a Cheerleader and we are close. he hates my kid, because shes normal. i swear I hate this girl and I have Never felt this way before. I cringe and the sound of her name. i do not want my child near her. Our marriage is ok, except for her. If I dont mention her and he doesnt either we are fine, but any holiday, she ruins. We drove 6 hours to see her for Christmas and never got a Thank you, she was too busy planning her date. Her mother lets the boyfriend stay over and sleep in the same bed with her. Then when we left after 5 mins, she sent him a message...you werent fair to me, you got my brother more, its all Kristys fault. I hate her and thats why I dont see you.....So i wrote a blog about it on another site, they found it, and sent it to my Mother In Law.....YEAH. but the next week on the same site, I found naked pictures of the mother. i think I will send them to my Mother In Law, so she can see what trash really is???? is it just me in this? I need some help. just wandering if its as bad as I think and no one else has ever seen this either. Thanks

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Well my stepdaughter hasnt gone that far but she has got an unhealthy obsession with her father and shes so jealous of me. Shes 24 now married with 2 kids and she still tries to act like the poor little girl that had her daddy stolen by the evil stepmother. Does my head in.

Lisa - posted on 11/27/2013

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Omgoodness I know exactly what you are saying. My stepdaughter is constantly trying to pull her father away from my children and I. She even tried to bet me saying that her father would go back into a store to get something for her after he had just came out. She's constantly trying to "get in his ear" and make up lies about everything. She tries to say that she's treated unfairly and goes to her mother making up things to have her mom call cyf on me and my 2 kids from a previous marriage. She's sneaky and very manipulative. She even pulked a pillow from under our 6 month old daughters head when she was 9 years old. She's 12 now and hangs on him like he's her husband. She locks her arm around his while out in public and those 2 walk ahead of myself, my 2 kids, and our 3 year old daughter. She lays on the couch leaned against him like couples do and says to me "my dad and I decided that. ...." seriously this is putting a huge damper on our relationship. I'm ready to call it quits because it disgusts me. He doesn't see any of this going on though. I don't know what to do anymore :(

Tracy - posted on 06/12/2013

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You have every right to not be able to stand her. She is disgusting and you really don't deserve that. No woman should have to be pushed aside from her husband because their daughter craves attention. It is all about attention. My step daughter is very similar. ShE has always been very close to her Dad and feels like she should be her #1 priority above everyone, including our 2 kids and me. She constantly manipulates and makes him feel guilty about the smallest things, making herself out to be the one that gets the least out of everyone. I can't even get my kids anything without worrying about how she is going to manipulate her dad to think that my daughter or son just got something that she didn't and wants, when really, what it is is that it's not that she wanted it,. She just wants it because my kids want it. ShE is just a horrible human being and I honestly cannot stand her.

Theresa - posted on 12/29/2014

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I have a step-daughter that will be twenty one soon... the obsession between her and her father sickens me. This is not the first time I have had step children...but this is the first time I have witnessed a relationship between father and daughter...that one could potentially pick up on as boyfriend/girlfriend. A few years ago...she told me that she was never going to give me a chance...father said nothing... when she is around..I can't sit by him...hold his hand... walk next to him... she literally races to him. One would think he would speak up and say something...but he doesn't. When she sits next to him on the couch she leans her head on his shoulder while holding on to his arms...throwing her legs over his and intertwines them.... or she will lay her head in his lap for him to stroke her hair... couple years ago...they were down for Christmas...I ran to the store and when I returned and walked into the house...he was lying on the couch watching television and she was literally laying on top of him as in missionary position... just talking to him... it made me sick. I couldn't believe he even allowed it. As I brought it up and told him how it looked...he became angry...and refused to let his daughter come back over... he said I was sick. It has been four years and she came this Christmas...Daddy got the big hug... I got the evil eye. I could tell she was uncomfortable with me...but she was managing..or rather we both were... the evening of the first day we all went bowling... and I noticed that as my husband bowled and walked back to the seat...as he set down he grabbed her on the butt... I found that odd... then they started with secret text messages...which were deleted. I said nothing as I didn't want to be the blame of a bad visit with his daughter... the next day... we met his daughter and other family tat the mall... she walked around with her gloomy sad look as he walked holding my hand... we left to go eat and my husband offered to drop us off at the front door as it was raining... as I went to get out...she refused and stayed in the car... My husband didn't park the car and come right in...they sat in the car fifteen to twenty minutes together as we all waited for them... we finally spotted them walking up to the restraunt arm in arm laughing... once in... she wasn't happy to be seated next to me at a table and later excused herself to the restroom so that she could write some crap on her facebook posting.... the last day they were here... i got to spend the afternoon sitting on the floor and she was sprawled all over our couch so she could cling on to daddy... I think this in inappropriate for a twenty one year old female to act this way with her dad...I also find it inappropriate for a father to encourage the behavior and not set boundaries... I also find it a problem when he becomes very angry and destructive if I mention it. I love my husband...but I have a gut instinct that something is not right... I don't know how to tell if I am being paranoid or if I should be really concerned. I am to the point that I want to walk out of this relationship... because something just doesn't feel right here. Am I reading to much into this??

Megan - posted on 06/25/2014

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I'm so relived to know that I'm not alone. My step daughter is 17 and has managed to disrespect, humiliate, and embarrass us every freaking week. It's like living with a demon with multiple personalities. Of course, my husband finds very little fault with her horrific behavior. .that is until I start a conversation with "I'm not sure I'm equipped to handle this long term." I truly hate hate this child with every living fiber on my body and now starting to question if my husband has the fortitude to change the dynamic of this twisted relationship they've created. At 49.. life is simply to darn short to be miserable due to an uncontrolled brat and a over indulgent father.

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Yolanda - posted on 08/24/2015

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I am so relieved to see others going through similar things. My step daughter is 17 and its daddy, daddy, daddy. No matter what we are doing she has to bring up her mommy. Usually a plan they have or something she would approve or disapprove of. My biggest issue is that she can not carry a conversation with out using baby talk. I can't stand it!!!!!! Her dad says absolutely nothing about it... I can't stand it!!!!! I also struggle with her having to be on top of her father all the time. Always sitting by him so I can't. Laying her head on him and so forth. I walked in the room and she's sitting beside him rubbing his back. He was creeper out and so was i, but did he say anything???? Nope!!!!! I can't stand to see her or hear her voice..... I feel like I'm such a bad person but I can't deal with it....

Renski - posted on 06/30/2015

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I have the same problem. My step daughter is going into the fourth grade. She is very hard to handle. She acts the same way with her father. If he shows me attention she instantly figures out a way to brake us apart from each other. She has not just done things but have also said things that are scary to me about he feelings toward her father. She treats me like crap. Although my boyfriend does finially she the way she is he still lets her get away with things. A lot of the time he says i will talk to her and he never does when i bring it up to him he says its too late now i dont want to remind her about it. She draws pictures of people having sex and he doesnt say anything to her about it. She calls him baby daddy. Mind you we have custody of her, her mother lives in a different state. I work full time so does my boyfriend so i get home before he does and i make sure she is taken care of, fed, bathed, taken to school events, all her sports and i get treated like shit everyday and called a bitch everyday. How did you finally just call it quits. It sucks because my boyfriend and i have no problems. We never fight other than things about her. He has told me in the past that he thought i was jealous of her until he finally figured out that she was kinda of thinking her father was her boyfriend and that they should be sexual together. Now he doesn't allow her to sit on his lap or anything but she is always trying to get between us. When her father isn't home she constantly calls me names and treats me like shit. I try to ask her why she does that and she just says your mean to me. I tell her all i am doing is parenting you if you do something wrong then you need to get punished. I have never laid a hand on her, but she will tell people i do but then she will say i have never done that to her and she will apologize to me. I don't k where she comes up with these things. I am not the only person she lies about that does things but she always does admit she is lying which is good but she shouldn't do that i do not understand the meaning behind it.

Denise - posted on 04/20/2015

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Don't be so sure about that I have one of these little brats I have been in her life since she was 10 she is now 24 and still she acts like a baby unbelieveable

Shane - posted on 04/05/2015

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I have the same problem ive been with my partner for 7 yr my step daughter to be is 9. We don't live together because be I was living interstate when we met then I moved in with my parents as he was going to court to sell his place to pay out his ex ,his daughter was 2 and half at the time I met her. she doesn't know life without me. When we first met he only had her 2 days a week and 3 days the following which was every 3rd weekend I helped him do his court papers affidavits more than 10 times we went to court and he got her for 6 nights straight(not bad for someone who's dyslexic) when she stays with him even tho she has her own room they sleep together she is now in grade 4 there is allways an excuse it was cold she was sick she saw something scary on tv she has no bed time no rules and he always buys her anything she wants she has an ipod this is the 4th one cause she loses them he will just go buy her a new one no worries a ipad and 2 laptops a wii all the Disney characters and xbox, she tells him that she wants to live with him cause her mum hits her mind u she always talks back even to me and lies to her father about me saying when we are together I don't talk to her which is a lie because if we go out as a family if he leave to go for a smoke she goes with him im never alone with her ( I also have a son from a previous marriage who is 17) Also when we go out to eat he hold her hand she sits next to him and if he kisses me she gets up and goes and sits in his lap and kisses him and tells him she loves him and she sits in his lap till the food comes and he loves it, mind you he dosnt like and kissy kissy smooching from me he says its childish and I should grow up if I do it which after I did it once or twice I never did it again I felt so rejected I didn't want to try again. On our last 2 holidays my partner spends most of his time with his daughter sitting on the couch when we go out they hold hands they sit together I walk alone most of the time if he shows me any attention she jumps in his lap its sickening. The first few nights away she wont sleep because she wants to sleep with him and she crys and carrys on I have to go sleep in the other room in the single bed while she sleeps with her dad and all he will say is she is lillte she grow out of it. Another night I sat next to him on the sofa after 10 days away she got up huffed and went to her room and slammed the door shut my partner looked at me and went in to talk to her when they came out he asked me to get a drink I got up and she sat in my spot next to him I just stood there he was just playing with his fone and she was snuggling up to him I didn’t say anything I just went in to our room and changed and was getting ready for bed then I just decided to check some emails and then crash out he came in knowing I was a little upset and said come out and sit with us I said its ok im tired ill go to bed soon then he took his pillow and said ill sleep on the sofa, wtf I said don’t bother ive done nothing wrong why r u going to sleep on the sofa he said I was acting childish and I was jealous of his daughter and he doesn’t get to see her that often I said I didn’t say anything I just came in and left u two to have ur time together I said I don’t get to see u often also and we don’t get to spend any time together and now u want to sleep on the sofa don’t bother ill just leave and u can have the bed with her so I got up and started packing im over it we argued and my son got us to talk it out she was just there no emotion when we argue she has no reaction at all then I said to him I don’t want to be in ur life if your daughter is going to always be unhappy and always jumping into ur lap we can’t even sit next to each other without her crying or getting upset its not worth it then I said to her why are you upset what have I done to you she wouldn’t answer nothing then her father asked her she started crying and jumped into his lap I said this isn’t going to work if shes upset with me and that’s all there no hard feelings my partner asked her again she said its not fair mummy’s alone and you have a girlfriend wtf is that meant to mean. Then her father explained that her mother left him and took her it was her mother’s decision to be on her own and we left it at that. Since then he said we will go away for valentine’s day we booked the flights but it didn’t happen because he said he had an appointment he forgot the morning we were meant to go away with her that his ex made because she was getting her tonicities out mind you she hasn’t had tonsillitis for 6 years but he needed to be there then he went to the wrong hospital and missed it anyways. He said hed make it up to me and wanted to take me to a hotel so we could have sex how romantic not. Last week it was out 7 yr anniversary we were meant to go out for dinner and drinks and stay out for the night I said yeh great then he said he couldn’t stay out because he had to drop off his daughter to a march at 10 am the next day and we had to go mind you he lives with his parents and im sure he could have asked them to drop her off and we could have picked her up but no so I said fine he said we can still just go out and have a nice night out and not drink I said that’s great I just want to spend some one on one time with him. On the day of out anniversary he came over at 12 with his daughter and said lets all go out (my son also) get some lunch I said ok so we went out just to a ribs place then he said every ones stuffed lets go home so he dropped me and my son off and when I called him later I said what time are u coming to pick me up he said oh im wreaked we went out for our anniversary with the kids wtf is that how is going out to a ribs place a friking anniversary dinner with ur partner is this guy for real.
The last straw as if all the above wasn’t enough he has been hounding me to go away with the kids for the school holidays and its cold to philip island which I hate I find it boring and u cant go to the beach cause its cold and I like to go somewhere that there are places to go and see some shops markets and so on, this place is isolated. Anyways his daughter and him did the usual hand holding and ignoring me I was ok with it but as the years have gone on its gotten sickening to the point I cringe im just wanted once we all go to bed all he asks is for sex and im telling you because im not getting any of his time during the day I don't feel like having sex with him anymore his daughter stays up in his lap till we go to bed, the second night I said early nite cause we have to go in the morning she suddenly got a stomach ache and had to stay up her father went to get her something for the pain medicine which is a 40 min drive one way to find a supermarket when he got back she said she was on no more tummy ach I said im tired and went to bed after 30 min he came in and wanted to watch tv I said im tired and would like to sleep, and added u need to put ur daughter to be so we can have some one on one time together out of the bedroom so we can chill out I need to spend some quality time with you he started yelling saying his daughter is on holidays and she can stay up cause she is on holiday I said she was sick I got her tea and you should have given her then medicine and put her to bed which is what you do when you have a sick child and go check on them. He started yelling that im jealous of his daughter and in evil and she is a child and he had to fight for her and he loves her more than me that’s when I cracked it and said what we have is a different luve to that of a child he said my daughter will always mean more to me that you this is when I cracked it and said im second to no one ever im leaving I started to pack my stuff and he said im not going to ask you back if you leave I said im not staying where im not wanted and so we both started packing I told my son to pack it was midnight and he packed his stuff got in his car with his daughter and left us on the street I called a cab and it cost me $230 to get home. My son hate his guts he said mum he treats u like dirt calls u names ( slut, whore, hooker, dirty hoe) in front of me and disrespect you always I hate him hes nothing to me nothing don’t ever talk to him and if he calls you again don’t talk to him move on and be strong.( my son dosnt see his father my ex:s choice hasn’t seen him since he was 6 months old) This is the first man I have dated since ive been divorced my son was 10 when we met. This argument happened 6 days ago I text him to say we need to talk he said he dosnt want me to contact him and he wants his ring back and money hes helped me out with or he will take me to court he has called me and sworn at me and abused me and said im a jealous bitch and he dosnt want to upset his daughter over me after 7 years. I should also add we don't live together he has a week on with his daughter I don't get to see him that much during the week as it is but when he has her we spend hardly any time together. I knew he had a daughter an is a package so am I a package with my son even more so because my son doesn't get to see his father at all. but I know the difference in our relationships to that with a child that u want to protect and the one with a partner who you are meant to share your life with not compete with. I asked him in the beginning if he was ready for a relationship cause I wanted to be with someone to share my life with not just sex I want the whole package family and so one he said yes. If we talk about having more kids she gets upset and sooks now my partner said that its best if we don't have any more kids I am so upset and hurt with all this more because I have been honest about everything from the beginning and his intentions have changed and hes not committed to me at the end of the day she will grow up and move on to live her life.

Christine - posted on 02/15/2015

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I have the same problem and she is 44 ! It's so pathetic. These girls must be so insecure.

Christine - posted on 02/15/2015

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Mine is 44 and she is still obsessed with her dad and I am sure her husband is fed up with it too. She will still have to get on with her life when he is dead. These people need to get a life and stop interfering with other peoples. They should be content knowing their dad loves them. Like it or lump it we all have to share our love around.

Debbie - posted on 06/26/2014

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OMG. I've had about the same issues just like yours. Except my step daughter is older...and still can't grow up. I thought I was the only going through this.

Ali - posted on 06/20/2014

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Gee, I am not the only one after reading all this comments in this post. Definitely is a common situation. My ex-step-daughter managed to wrap her fingers around her dad and finally broke us up and her mum was doing the same to me as well.
Im out of it and I still see her around and see her behaviour is the same way. I realised she is a really little spoilt brat who gets her own way and its sad how her dad doesn't seen it. All I can see is it is in a very similar situation as everyone else. Seek help from counselling or quit the relationship?

Christine - posted on 12/17/2013

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I am relieved to see I am not the only one. We only have my 9 year old step daughter half the time, but when she is with us she is constantly rubbing my husbands back and sitting on his lap from the moment he gets her home from school. If he even dare hold our 6 month old son she throws a huge tantrum and gives him a guilt trip that she doesn't get any attention from him. I can't even sit next to him on the couch because she has to be "in the middle" no matter WHERE we go. She gives my son looks sometimes like she means to hurt him too. I am concerned for his safety sometimes and wish she would just go live at her moms house FULL TIME. When she was 4 I thought it was cute that she thought she could marry him... but now I can see there are bigger problems there.... She still hasn't grown out of it, and is constantly challenging me. I had to watch her full time over the summer when she was out of school and I was home with my newborn son... She would go in his room and make tons of noise to wake him up every time I got him down and would make sure I never got any rest. She is the devil's spawn and I can't stand her... I feel like a terrible person, but I don't know what to do!? I have serious doubts that she is even my husbands biologic daughter because she bares no likeness to him or anyone in his family and his baby momma was a total slut and cheated on him a ton! I could never ask him to get a paternity test because she does NO WRONG in his eyes and he would not believe it even if it came back and said she wasn't his. HELP ME PLEASE!

Kristy - posted on 11/27/2013

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I hadn't read this since I posted it, Thank you all for your comments. She is now 18, has a 2 year old son and lives in another state, however she STILL behaves the same way. Her latest mission has been to convince my husband Im having an affair, Im not. She has went to great lengths to make me look guilty. If I hadn't been very sick she would have been able to make me look giolty. I don't understand... In fact I don't care I just want to be left alone. Ive been married for 7 years now. I have tried as hard as I can and I simply don't want to see her or hear her name. When we won custody of her 6 years ago, her bio Mother said there was a change my husband isn't her father!! We thought it was a ploy to make us stop the custody battle, imagine hearing that after 12 years your not the father of your supposed first born child.... My stepdaughter proceeded to get to know the other man, and his wife insisted there be a DNA test, I don't blame her. My step daughter told her father it was negative, but she is still having a relationship with this man.... That tells me it wasn't negative. If it was negative and shes having a relationship with a stranger and letting her son get to know him as a grandparent then she is purely evil. that is so disrespectful toward my husband. I only wish he could see this, the way anyone else would. At least everyone knows what a slut her Mother was.... but that means my husband still may not be her father I mean if she was cheating with one man, there could've been more. Does anyone know what I mean? Thanks for listening

Lisa - posted on 11/27/2013

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Omgoodness I know exactly what you are saying. My stepdaughter is constantly trying to pull her father away from my children and I. She even tried to bet me saying that her father would go back into a store to get something for her after he had just came out. She's constantly trying to "get in his ear" and make up lies about everything. She tries to say that she's treated unfairly and goes to her mother making up things to have her mom call cyf on me and my 2 kids from a previous marriage. She's sneaky and very manipulative. She even pulked a pillow from under our 6 month old daughters head when she was 9 years old. She's 12 now and hangs on him like he's her husband. She locks her arm around his while out in public and those 2 walk ahead of myself, my 2 kids, and our 3 year old daughter. She lays on the couch leaned against him like couples do and says to me "my dad and I decided that. ...." seriously this is putting a huge damper on our relationship. I'm ready to call it quits because it disgusts me. He doesn't see any of this going on though. I don't know what to do anymore :(

Sandra - posted on 01/26/2013

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thats not normal take her to all the head docs you can the dad needs to go with the daughter to learn how to get control back. letting a child do what they want makes it worse. make she you go so doc can really understand whats going on the dad will only baby the hole thing. i got pg at 16 im have learning probs was sexually abused from 4 to 12 been married 2xs and have for kids so ya get her help if everyone isnt going to be on the same page then if in were you id leave for you an your daughter. even if you have a child he shouldn't ever treat your child with hate. id put it all on the line with him either we all get her help an all get help together so we all can stay on the same page or pack the bags an leave. even i moved to a shelter do to a bad relation ship. good luck.

T - posted on 11/23/2012

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well i think daddy needs wake up call..give her a good spanking and let her know,no one is trying to take her father or replace her mommy...but in your home, you are ,in a type of parental roll, and SHE NEEDS to respect that fact and take it VERY seriously...or their WILL be consequences...i think alot of this crap comes directly from the girls mother,and the father, is afraid that if he makes the girl mad she wont come back, or mommy will make it worse...

Bexie - posted on 02/13/2011

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I would have to say that she is going way over board. And that its not healthy for her father to have "all saint's syndrome", all children can behave badly. She could be being influenced by someone else. However, the root cause of this could be that she is afraid that her dad may start to either love you or your daughter more than her and thus she lashes out at you. I was daddy's little girl and when he left he broke my heart, as a result my case went in reverse. I bonded to my step-dad and fought over him with his daughter that had been my bf since we were 2. I acted a lot like I was his little wife. I went so far as to even go to work wit him on a daily basis just so that I could make sure that he "loved" me more than the others. This was 10 years ago and I have learned that no matter what he loves me. Under it all I was just really scared that no one loved me anymore when our families joined. Hope this helps and good luck.

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