18 year old step son stole from me.

Patricia - posted on 04/07/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 18 year old stepson stole my jewelry and sold it. He is about to graduate from high school and lives with his mom. His dad and I have ben married since he was 6 months old. I love him like he is my own. He calls me mom. He has always lived with his mom and she does not enforce any discipline. He stole from me and his grandmother. We (me and his dad) took the car he was driving away from him. Our car on our insurance. His mom gave him her car to drive and no consequenses. My husband, his dad, is so hurt and wants nothing to do with him. I am heartbroken. He always only calls us when he needs something. I feel like I have done something wrong not talking to him. I feel bad that his dad will not talk to him. I just son't know what to do. How do we move on from this?

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Stacey - posted on 10/19/2012

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It is NOT normal for teenagers to steal. If everyone had that outlook, all teenagers would be getting away with a lot more. There is something wrong with him and he needs help before he gets a lot worse. I can't blame your husband for not wanting to talk to him, I wouldn't either if my kid stole from me.



I hope you fixed this issue.. this worries me even more that people see this behaviour as "normal"

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Ashley - posted on 04/17/2011

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Im not a parent of a teenager but i can tell you that my step brother as a teenager stole a car with some friends went to a wedding and stole all there alcohol. Got chased by the cops until he hit a tree, he was living with his mom at the time and he was under court orders house arrest but if she wrote a letter he was aloud sleep overs. So she let him do what ever he pleased my step dad went crazy and blamed my brother and acted like he was the worst person on the planet the truth is he was a stupid teen and should have been punished but not blamed for not being punished. My brother and his dad still dont talk there relationship wasent great to begin with but that pretty much ended it ints been over ten years. My advice is find out why he needs the money is he addicted to drugs or what, and honestly there is no resone why you shouldent charge him he is still a minor and they wont do much but its better now then in a couple years that way the courts can make him do community service, they dont send first offenders to jail ( were i am in Canada not sure
3 how courts work in your area). Anyway Your husband needs to relize no teenager is going to punish themselves and if she is refusing to punish him call the cops, your son may need some help its normal for teenagers to steal and do stupid things but stealing from his grama ? guess it depends on there relationship. Deal with it now because you dont want this lasting forever he will grow up hopefully become a normal happy married father and you dont want this effecting your relationship later in life. Best wishes

Lori - posted on 04/07/2011

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Wow this is tough.. he is 18 if he did this to someone else he would be charged with a crime. If you don't get his Mom involved this could escalate.



He should have to pay restitution to you and his Grandmother. He needs to know his actions have consequences before he gets into real trouble.



Do you have a pastor or counselor you could take him to see? Is the Mom receptive at all? or is she just angry? and most of all what did he need the money for? is he using?



Sounds to me like his Mom has been stuffing his head with lots of the wrong ideas. And he's taking it out on your husband.

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