New to group...

Angela - posted on 02/27/2009

Hi laurie, I just wanted say anything worth having is worth woring through! Just be consistant and thats all she needs for self confidence. I was an abandon child and I am fine thanks to people I ad around me.

Cassie - posted on 01/29/2009

One thing that really helped our family is "kid dates".  This is nice espcially if you have more then 2 children.  The idea is that each of you does something alone with each kid once a week.  It could be just going to the park to play (it has to be away from home and away from the other parent).  There is a set rotation so you would take 1 kid, he would take the other then the next weekend you switch.  This will give you time alone with him.  I also suggest that you write down things you love about him and hopes and dreams you have for him in a journal.  I'm sure there is an issue since he already had one mom leave him.  Ever heard the saying "that's a face / child only a mother could love"?  I'm sure he has too and he probably wonders what he did that was so bad that his own mother doesn't love him.  To him you could leave easier.  He needs reassurace.  It will take time but, he'll come along build the bond your whole family will feel united.  

Food for thought...

Were his parents married?  What was he told about the divorce and why she left?  This may be why the marriage seemed to mark a change in the relationship.  He may have figured out that marriages ending make mommies leave, dating isn't a threat... 

Cheryl - posted on 01/05/2009

I am in a way jelous of your situation, my step son is only here on weekends and every other wed. Me and his father have a son together and I think that the bond that the two have with me is very different. I have no expectations to live up to but to be happy. I will probably be harder on my own child than my step son, as he gets older.



My one rule is that we all eat a family meal every night at the table and comunicate, to help keep everyone close and in touch with what everyone is going through.



If the lines of comunication are open the posibilities are endless!

Nandini - posted on 12/01/2008

Hi, I found that bringing up two step-daughters, plus my own scary at first. When u have ur own children, u are more aware of things and become very over-protective. Yet in ur case, i think u need to try and treat him as ur own, easy said than done, i know. Yet if u love ur husband, you'll love his son like u love the other children..

I ended up treating all the girls the same, no one had special treatment. They are now 21,20and 17. Good Luck