the christmas battle

Kristin - posted on 12/09/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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so, i feel completly inadequate during christmas for the kids.
we just moved into a new home that we are renting. we can't buy a new house like we hoped because my husbands name is still on the mortgage to the house that his ex lives in and we can't get it off because she can't refinance it herself and the mortgage people said he can't do anything until then.
anyway, the rent it higher now but it has the space we need.
well, christmas is coming and we have higher bills now. his ex is dating a doctor so we know from last year that the gifts over there for the kids are great and expensive.
the things i know that the kids want are really not an option for us to get for them. my sd is getting a kindle fire for christmas over at her moms house. i feel like a bum! if we get something expensive like that for here, my ss is going to feel neglected because we wouldn't be able to get something as expensive for him.
i just can't stand this. when his ex was dating just a regular joe, i didn't feel like this about christmas. but since the doctor has been in the picture, this is the second year i feel awful about not getting the kids as much as they are going to get over there.
and you know how kids are... my sd is 13 and my ss is 9. last year when they came over to celebrate with us, my ss walked in the living room and his face dropped in disappointment. "is this it?" he asked as he looked at the presents under the tree. my sd didn't show any emotion.
i hate this feeling. anyone else in this scenario?

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Ashley - posted on 01/02/2012

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I hope your cristmas went ok and im going to make a bucket list and am going to try to do 3 things this year with the kids maybe this is something your family could do. Try getting them to relize its not gifts that give joy its the experience.

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Wow. If one of my kids, step kid or not said that I would take each present one by one and get rid of them, give them to kids that would better appreciate them.



My step daughters mother is like that also, It doesn't bother me, in my opinion kids really don't need expensive things like that. Especially electronics like that...Last year we let my step daughter pick out her own gifts 4 of them and she was happy with them.



Maybe you should skip gifts this year and explain to them that you are not obligated to buy them stuff on christmas... because your not. I would also let them know that their attitude towards what you do buy is unacceptable, and if I were you I'd skip gifts until they realize that their shitty attitude wont fly with you.

I had to remind my own bio child that unless he gets his self right and stops with the attitude and smart remarks (he's a smart ass generally) presents will be canceled this year.

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