22 y/o stepson out of control - NEED HELP!

Karen - posted on 07/02/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Need help with this badly:



James: 22 year old stepson

Out of control, in and out of jail, issues with drugs (using and selling), has never held a job for more than a month, no car or apartment, 2 year old daughter now in foster care. Girlfriend (who he has abused) is also jobless and homeless with him and sticks by his side.



His father is Greg:

Very nice, jovial guy, has great job and newly married (3 years.) Just wants his son to be his friend. Has hard time seeing his son on the street but refuses to allow him to stay in their house anymore. New wife has volunteered to be the "bad guy" when it comes to her new stepson, but James still causes turmoil in the marriage.



James is very manipulative and knows how to get his father to hand over a little cash here or some food there. Occasionally comes by and asks to sleep in their backyard or porch.



Every time James comes around, he leaves a mess and leaves his father heartbroken and stressed out. Never repays loans, etc. It seems there is no end in sight. The only time Greg is at ease is when his son is gone for a long time or in jail.



How can we keep his son away? He is tearing the marriage apart.



PLEASE share similar stories if you have them. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

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1 Comment

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Sandra - posted on 10/14/2012

12

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The only person that can keep the son away is Greg (the father). If the new wife can accept that, stay. If not; cut bait. Greg is obviously not going to change and there is no reason his son should if his dad doesn't. This is not a 'step-child' problem, this is a enabled adult child and enabling parent. She just has to decide if she can live with it.