Bad habbits

Christine - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

52

20

I Have an 8yr old step daughter, and two sons, one 2yrs and one 3mos. My step daughter comes off as a very selfish and very bossy, I even hear it from the parents of her friends. Most of her charactor has been shaped by that of her bio mom, who is not very different. For my step daughter and my sons, it's beginning to be a constant point of frustration. My daughter freaks out and is constantly yelling at my oldest son, if he steps foot in her room, touches anything that's hers or simply stands where she thinks he shouldn't. My daughter is getting to the extreeme where if my husband and I are having a conversation, she has to know everything, if something is said to the dog, she has to be there to know. Because she is old enough to read and understand most of what she sees, she is now reading over our shoulders when we are on the computer typing emails or other corrispondences.

There is now Personal respect, what she expects form everyone else, she is exempt from, ie asking to use a toy that doesn't belong to her, before she plays with it, or even asking to go play with friends, instead of telling me she's going....

This is causing quite the domestic conflict, what's more is that my husband sees himself as exempt from developing some sort of resolution, when he's the only one she will listen too.

What do i do? my sons are picking up on the stress, it's causing potty training difficulties with my 2yr old, because my daughter must be kept up to date on all his abolutions, to the point where she feels she must be in the bathroom while i'm trying to get him to go....

How do you stress personal space and respect to an 8yr old who doesn't see you as an authority firgure?

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1 Comment

View replies by

Louise - posted on 07/10/2009

24

10

hi

firstly i think you'll find this sort of behaviour is pretty normal to an 8yr old girl though it will need nipping in the bud girls are so much more pushier than boys and grow up alot faster too

my girl is now 10yrs old and we have been throug this with her although i have never brought her up to be selfish she did become very selfish but was ok for her to go in the boys room when she pleased and use there stuff

there needs to be strict guidelines on what is acceptable and what is not

i found that by sitting them all down and getting them to air there own views and then drawing up rules based on there opinions

obviously your sons are too young for there input but maybe a sit down with ur step aughter

and ask her questions like how would she feel if u or one of the younger kids went into her room and played with toys without asking?

how would she feel if u sat and watch her on the loo ?

sometimes kids dont realise what they are doing and how they are causing trouble

maybe she feels pushed out her self as we all know how much time younger ones take up and maybe making some special time in which u spend just with her without distractions might help

helping with things around the house and talking while doing it is another way if done in the right way will make her feel special as the younger ones cant do that but she can even if its just folding towels u have just washed or making some cakes

things may take a little longer with her help but it helps with building a bond

teaching of persnal space is very important and respecting each others space is part of growing up

although this is a frustrating times things will get better u just gotta stick to ur guns

good luck

lou