birth mother is driving me crazy

Kenesha - posted on 11/02/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

25

0

0

Ok here goes. My husband found out he had a son when the baby was 2 and a half months old. He/we got custody of him through CPS when he was 4 and a half months old due to the mother neglecting her 3 children and using methamphetamines. It then came to light that she used meth when she was pregnant with my husbands son :( and was using it around him after birth. Since we have had custody she makes barely any effort to see him, well she did at first but it has progressively gotten less and less.
IT has now been 8 months and she has provided nothing for him, rarely asks how he is, just does not seem worried at all. She more or less calls to talk to my husband, she does not even ask how Bently is doing or if he has started doing anything new. She pops up about every 6 weeks to see him and says MHMR has changed her medicine and made her forget everything, which we know is a lie because CPS tells us everything.
I am almost 5 months pregnant and this stress of this woman is driving me crazy. I wish she would either be in his life or be out. My husband has had temporary custody since March of 2013 and has had full custody since August of 2013. I need help on how to deal with her please!!!! I am evil to her because I care for her son 24/7. She should, in my eyes, be thankful he is not in foster care or something!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

3 Comments

View replies by

LalaBoom - posted on 12/24/2013

248

0

41

Its truly unfair, and sad, and maddening- especially when the system helps in their efforts to keep "the best interest of the child" in a mind as a blanket rule, not with individualized attention.

This woman is a "deadbeat" mom. I strongly, strongly, strongly suggest you keep records, thats the only way you'll be able to protect your stepson :(

Kenesha - posted on 11/20/2013

25

0

0

I didn't literally mean that. Act evil towards her, I meant she sees me as evil because I am the one caring for her son more than my husband does, and that she never gets to care for him. She's not capable of caring for him anyways as has been said by cps, but its hard to find a way to talk to this woman because all she does is lie. It has almost been a year now and cps has already had the closing case meeting last week. a lot of new things came out that we did not know that just disgust me.
There is a child support order, she supposed to pay 100 a month, which is nothing, but she's about to be 4 months behind. She is also ordered to pay half medical, which she owes us over 200 dollars, we have given her the bills but she did not seem to concerned.
To be honest, at the cps meeting, she straight out said I don't care about gently, which is the baby we have, she just wants her other kids. That is just an awful thing to say. She still has not asked to see him, she has not seen him since September 24th and before that she did not see him for 2 and a half months. Its unfair, and we have told her she needs to be in or out, not in and out.

LalaBoom - posted on 11/14/2013

248

0

41

The phone calls to your husband need to stop- unless it's about the child. And seeing as how you ca verify that it isn't, put your foot down. You don't need the drama fckng up the joys of your pregnancy.

Your husband (and you!) needs to record everything. I mean everything. Missed visits, phone calls, etc. EVERYTHING. Literally, write this down.

It isn't clear in your post if there is a CS order, but he also needs to take her to child support court, IMMEDIATELY. This isn't about her- it's about the kids, and they need the financial support of both.

Go back to court and terminate her rights. This should,

1. Be a wake-up call and she'll do right by her son
2. Disappear (real responsibility has a way of doing that to people, lol)

You also need to stop being evil to her. This isn't about you- it's about your step-son. If you check your ego and remind yourself of that, it will be easier to find ways to foster a healthy, even if supervised, relationship with the BioMom. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I TRULY UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION AND CONTEMPT TOWARD THIS WOMAN. Yes- I needed to write that in caps, lol

Cheers,
StepMom of 2 :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms