manipulating 14 yr old thats influencing my 12 yr old

Ayanna - posted on 04/17/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

I've been the 14 yr old step parent for 10 yrs now. I feel like I know him better than his own father. This little boy has lying to me ever since I can remember. He is so good, he makes himself cry because no one believes him and I still catch him in a lie. He has stole money from me and lied about it. His dad says he believe him because he wouldn't lie to him. I was so hurt. Years later, I had a talk with him about getting on the right path and I asked him did he take that money from me a that time and he said yes. I nformed his father about this and he told him that he only said yes because he thought that is what he wanted to hear. His dad believed him. He stoled from his uncle a PSP (video game) and told him he accidentally put it in his bag. The uncle didn't want him to be punished just not do it again. His dad left it at that. Then the next year he took his uncle's money $300) gave my 12 yr old $100. I can get the truth out of him and he told me that the 14 yr old gave it to him. He never apologize to the uncle, he just told him that he gave him that money when he he was drunk. Now he took some money from my brother (over 600) I noticed that he and my son kept going to 7 Eleven and I asked them were they were getting money from and he would say from his friend at school. My brother called me and asked if I have seen them with any money. The first thing I thought about is the kids going to the store. Of course he didn't admit anything but My mom talk to my 12 yr old and he admitted to having the money. They both had spilt the money. They both have all privileges taken away and its like vacation for him now that he has someone in trouble with him. His 2 uncles that he took from previously came over to talk to them. I'm sure you have an idea of how that went. The uncle told me that I have to trust him and wanted to take them fishing the next weekend. At least his dad said no to that. I'm at a lost right now, my husband works all day and is home in time for dinner and then its bath and bedtime for them. I work at home which is kind of a good thing that way I can be there for them. Not to mention I have a 5 yr old that the step son is jealous of and treats him mean and lie on him to try to get him in trouble. My husband and I relationship is fine except when it comes to the kids. We have argued alot in the past and now I feel like I have to put it in Gods hands. The 14 yr mother passed away 2 yrs ago. and has been with his father since he was 2 yrs old. We all have been living together since he was 4. His behavior was like this along time before his mom passed. My 12 yr old father passed when he was 6. He gets good grades and this is his first time being on punishment so I know he could be that good kid that makes me proud. My husband and I are all that they have other than my parents. I apologize for being so long winded but if someone can help me it would be greatly appreciated. I do feel a little better just by getting this out. Thanks for reading !