Manners?

Yellow - posted on 09/18/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

I was raised to respect elders and was taught manners from before I started learning how to speak... Manners IMO are a sign of respect and courtesy for others around you, not just for elders. When I am speaking to my children (step-son and step daughter) I will say "Yes Mam, No man, Yes Sir, No Sir, Please and Thank you"... I believe it is a sign of respect and courtesy to refer to others in a polite manner and manners should not ever be defined by age... to me manners, are always appropriate, and it is never too young to teach them.

When my children were here for the summer, it was hell trying to teach them proper etiquette and table manners! We would be sitting at the dinner table trying to enjoy a family meal, and I cannot tell you how many times I had to correct my children to quite smacking, talking with food in their mouth, holding their silver wear properly, slurping, etc... granted I understand that they are young ( 5 and 3) but that is why I am constantly and consistently reminding them of their manners.

My children told me that their mother does not make them use "manners nor say yes mam no mam, etc." which I told them was perfectly fine... I said if your mother chooses to not have you use manners in her home, then that is her choice, but when you are in my house, you are expected to respect my home and follow my rules...

So we were at my children's school for a meet the parent type thing, and I was there... my step son used manners to his teacher and said yes mam when she asked him questions... his teacher complimented him and said what wonderful manners he has... I was enraged because his mother and her family, who do not teach him those things, butted in and said "yes, we always try and encourage wonderful manners and politeness"... When she DOESN'T!!!!

Questions:
1.) Why is she and her family trying to take the credit for something they know damn well they didn't teach?
2.) Why is it that anything and everything that the children do that is good and positive is something that THEY taught them, yet everything that the children do that is bad and negative something the children were taught by their father or step-mother...

Anything that goes wrong with the children is instantly our fault and something we did... they never take responsibility for actions they might have taught them.... but anything and everything that is good and they get compliments, they immediately take the credit???? WHY IS THAT?????