step moms - advice

Julie - posted on 09/20/2011

She is probably just nervous about him having another "mommy" around and feels protective of her child. When my hubby and I started dating, his son's bm wouldn't let me meet their son for a year. We respected that until Christmas time and my now mil asked for her grandson to be over. I asked if his mom knew that I was going to be there and she said I told her the whole family was going to be over, so I'm sure she knows you'll be there too. Wow, didn't know what to say to that. Anyway, her whole worry was she didn't want me to replace her. I let it be known that I wasn't trying to replace anyone, I'm not in the kid stealing business. Once she figured out I was in for the long haul, she eased up. Now my step son lives with us and I talk to his mom quite often. Now, we'll probably never go out for a beer together, but we do get along. He's 13 now and I started dating his dad when he was 1. I've gotten along with his mom most of that time. Not that we see eye to eye on everything, but we make the best of the situation. Oh, and my SS calls me by my name, never mom except when he's talking to my daughter, then he'll refer to me as mommy....as in mommy said for you to help me set the table, but for the most part, I'm Julie and his mom is Mom.

Heather - posted on 09/16/2011

Thanks!

Khara - posted on 09/16/2011

Girl you and your family are in my prayers for sure!!

Heather - posted on 09/16/2011

no i do undertand what you mean.. i worry about my stepson even though he isn't liveing with us full time.. out of all three of my kids (inc him) he has been sick more then mine ever are or were.. its ridiculous and scary.. but good luck and i'm trying..

Khara - posted on 09/16/2011

Isn't baby mama drama amazing!! I freakin hate it too! I have to give you props because there is no way in hell I would be caught dead around my son's "biological mother." Girl I don't know what to tell you really because I myself have to constantly bite my tongue which our situation is a little different because we have full custody... My husband & I have been together for a little over 3 years & she had nothing to do with the boys until she realized I wasn't going anywhere & that they were getting close to me... She is a 2 time felon, & worthless yet she still managed to get visitation rights. Even after she got visitation rights she violated her agreement by having her new baby daddy stay over while the boys were there!! Come to find out we googled this guy. He was also a felon!! & just got busted for drugs in March this year!! Took her back to court & she got a slap on the wrist! Not only that shes over 4500.00 behind on child support! She was over 5000.00 behind before we went to court the first time... And only had to pay 32.50 for two kids!! So anyway she's a big fat bitch and I can't stand her.. Which she only gets the boys every other weekend but those are my babies! And I have to worry the entire time they are gone that she will do something stupid but she leaves them with her mom 99 percent of the time... But I do realize how aggravating it can be... The best advice I can give is ignore her ass. Take a good look & your husband and kids & enjoy the peace you have at home... There's no winning in our situations... Which with my boys they are starting to realize how she is.. Our oldest son doesn't even want to go & it sucks we have to make him.. Per law... I think the Child Custody & Visitation Laws are so screwed up.. It's really pathetic actually. Whew sorry I just wrote a book! lol that was nice to get out... I could have put more but I figured I'd better stop typing it could go on forever!!