Yellow - posted on 05/14/2011 ( 33 moms have responded )
I was reading a few articles online the other day about what proper wedding etiquette a stepmother should follow, if there is any. In both of the articles I read, they mentioned that the step-mother should out of consideration take a step back, as she is not a biological parent to either the bride or groom. I also read that the stepmother should sit a few rows back from her husband while he and his ex wife sit together! I am sorry but I feel that is just a total sign of disrespect to the step-mother. I feel this way because whenever my husband and I have the kids, I treat them like they were my own and love them, I do not call myself "step-mom" and neither do they. One of the things I read that offsets the fairness I suppose, is that it even said if the ex-wife were to remarry, then her new husband would also not be able to sit next to her, and he too would have to sit a few rows back. My husband and his ex do not get along and they speak when spoken to regarding the children, other than that, conversation is very minimal. When we are around the children, her and I can carry on a civil conversation...
I don't know, I just would not feel right about having to sit separated from my husband while he and his ex wife sat together. IMO, we have all been there for the children and loved them, I feel like I should have a right to sit with my husband. When his children were here, their mother would send them sick and without any medicine. I was the one up all night checking fever, giving breathing treatments, taking them to the ER, cleaning up vomit... It was me, I took on that role, because I love them. Their mother was notified that her daughters breathing got so bad we had to take her to the ER, did her mother call and check up? No. She never called once to see how her own daughter was doing, they were here 2 weeks!
Maybe I am overreacting, but just because we are not blood related does not give anyone the right to discriminate and tell me that because I didn't carry the child, I have no rights to be a part of their special day... I would never try and take their mothers place, and that is not my goal. The article even said crap about "It is the brides and mother of the brides day to shine, the stepmother should dress down like any other guest and not try to outshine the Mother of the Bride, because it is her day"...
I would really like some feedback about what ya'll think about this thing people are calling "etiquette".