I'm new... been a StepMom for 4yrs now

Cat - posted on 09/25/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hey, I'm new here... I have a 15yr old stepson and a 12yr old step daughter... I definitely dislike my husband's exes (yep one for each kid) so I came over here to investigate this forum... but is it just me (and it might be) but arent some of you being incredibly petty about the things you're bitching about? I've found that the best way to handle my husbands exes is to not handle them at all... In my opinion it is my husband's job to do all the communicating with the moms of my step kids... this has not effected my relationship with the kids at all, they will always be my stepkids, and they know how much I love them... I really think some of you might benefit from a more 'hands off' approach, your husbands had kids with these women, not you... You can love and nurture them when they're in your home, without having anything at all to do with the ex... It makes things so much more simple and peaceful... I honestly believe no ex wants to be best buds with the 'new woman' (no matter how long you've been together) and that's their right, they didnt have the kids with you... Anyway, that's just my two cents, I dont know if I'll stick around here, I kinda thought this place would have some constructive advice!

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Alahnna - posted on 09/25/2010

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I kinda agree wit the staying away thing. My boyfriend's ex is just crazy sometimes and we've been together for 3 1/2 years now. SHe has done so many things and I have yet to actually meet the woman face to face to say hello, my name is... I have not made any contact with her and my boyfriend only talks to her about things regarding the kids, nothing more. He has realized she cannot be civil about anything else so this is how it unfortunately has to be. Now that she knows he won't engage her and neither will I, she has mostly settled down. She has even managed to call the house a couple times civilly to ask if my boyfriend was here to talk to him about something for the kids.. The parenting should definitly be left to the parents, in most cases, not the step parents and just have your relationship with the step kids when they are with you.

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Elizabeth - posted on 09/27/2010

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I totally agree with you!!!
I'm an ex, and I used to be a stepmom too and did the samething you advise others to do. So when I became the ex I didn't want to communicate with his wife period.

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