still getting blamed for seperation

Joann - posted on 02/08/2013

O sweety that will never end.. as a woman you took her job , man , and kids.. lol and best believe they will do anything to hurt you and more with the husband only causeits her husband.. she in her eyes she has a title which she dies but how stupid do u think she feels?? You make her life a living hell with out even know its causing her harm.. so keep doing what your doing.. you will always be a home weaker in her eyes but always remember you can break something that was already broken.. ha I get blamed for my husbands and I laugh only cause just kike you this woman has got married , her marriage lasted abt 6 months and is now going threw a divorce.. lol she also committed adultery but is quick to talk about us. Like I always say make sure your closets clean before pointing fingers.. lol were married now and she carrys his last name and is married so she just an evil person but with women kike this you have to play their game..laugh and smile with your head up high.. alto your b/f does need to get a divorce is would make things a lil easier..

Jitka - posted on 11/21/2012

I have to agree with some of the ladies here... if you mess with a married man, you will, undoubtedly have to deal with an angry wife! After all that saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" wasn't invented for nothing!!!! Good luck! And hang in there... she'll back off once she finds a man :)

Tiffany - posted on 05/16/2012

i left my husband and in 2009 and started dating in feb of 2010 my ex is always saying that my fiancee is the reason but the only to blame is him he was abusive in many ways and i had enough and left he still hasnt moved on but i am engaged and he tells me his life goal is to make me miserable and yes it is time to move on

Yellow - posted on 05/15/2011

I see both sides in this post. I am too the blame of my husbands divorce. I never slept with a married man, we hung out as friends before we became an item. I specifically told him that "there will be no relationship beyond friends until you two are not together anymore." In the mean time I was weird about what his intentions might be, I didn't want to be considered a home wrecker, because I had more respect for myself. I had seen many instances where the man will lie to a woman and tell her their divorcing and that he is going to leave his wife, then never does. I told him that if we were going to continue our friendship, I told him that I wanted proof that they were separating and divorcing, because at the time they were still living together until he could afford to find his own place, because at the time he was supporting her and 3 kids, 2 of which were not his. She didn't have a job or source of income. So one day, he did prove to me that they were indeed divorcing, I heard them both discussing it on the phone, she did not know I was listening. They discussed living arrangements, how much he would pay her in CS, visitation, things like that... that was proof for me. He then moved out of the house and got into his own place. We then began dating and spending more time together, still at the time not sleeping together. She then found out he began seeing someone else, she then accused him of cheating and how I destroyed their marriage, then tried to tell me that they had never even discussed the subject, even after I heard multiple conversations of their divorce! I do not feel that I was a home wrecker in that sense, I feel that she was just an unhappy woman and was upset that her ex had already moved on before she did. She was like that in her first marriage, she blamed her first husband of an affair after they were divorcing, they had temporary orders in place, even though her first husband started talking to this woman after they had legally separated. She was angry and bitter the entire time until she met my husband who was 17 at the time... she then started to force her two young children to call a man daddy that they never even knew... she met him online and they married the first night they met... so IDK, I just do not feel that I was the cause of their divorce, they had problems in the marriage long before I ever came into the picture, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time...

Elizabeth - posted on 09/25/2010

It depends were you seeing him while he was still living with her? Be honest. Maybe you could ask her why she blames you. Some couples seperate but still try to work things out. I stay clear from men that are still married, even if they're legally seperated, its still a hard time on both the man and wife.

Marcella - posted on 09/25/2010

I want to know why am I being blamed for the separation when they were already legally separated and the divorce was in the works?

Elizabeth - posted on 09/25/2010

Francine,
Apparently your man didn't care too much about his kids either since he was out having an affair with you. If he truly thought the kids were in a bad situation then he wouldn't have left the kids to go screw you. If he was truly unhappy then he would have been legally seperated/divorced the time he met you.
Everybody gets lied to during an affair whether you're the OW or the wife both are being lied to.
No need to to get pissed at the ex for the situation you're in. She is free of a cheater and a liar, she already had what you have, and probably a lot of people have lol.

Cat - posted on 09/25/2010

I dont see her putting the kids in the middle, I see you, a very bitter and resentful woman who seems to wish the ex wasnt in the picture at all... The more you post, the more petty and idiotic you sound... It DOESNT MATTER what the mom does or doesnt do, that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS... those arent your kids, you didnt live with her before her husband cheated and left her, so all you have is his side of the story.... I wonder who's side of the story you'll tell when he cheats on you and leaves you? You can love those kids all you want, but you're not going to replace their bio-mom... It honestly sounds like you're doing everything in YOUR power to put them in the middle, not the other way around... I kinda feel sorry for you, you're obviously very insecure...

Tetley - posted on 09/25/2010

francine you need to go and dig a big hole in your back yard and stick your home wrecking lying little head in it and cry to all the maggots and what ever eles is that hole because you are making yourself look really stupid in here

Francine - posted on 09/25/2010

Anyaka, I can't change a husbands wife, but he can change his desicion to divorce or live with someone that sits online all day puts the internet before him and her kids, don't cook or clean as a stay home mom, and admits she expected him to stick around to give her a place to live and take care of her as long as she has his kids. Do you want to be married to that? I wouldn't that's why I don't take no personal attack on my ex and his girlfriend. Go ahead live your life. Mines isn't a free ride just for pushing kids out and you know what is TRUE AND MORE HURTFUL...THE KIDS HURT WHEN SHE USES THEM AND PUT EM IN THE MIDDLE! for her financial support and she is wigging out cause her financial support is going to run out. Especially hurts when the children are fine with daddies decision and love his new life with stepmom rather than the internet life sucking stay indoors life. other than that, I still remind them always that's their mom. And love is what matters!

Elizabeth - posted on 09/25/2010

who is angry?

Isobel - posted on 09/25/2010

I must admit I've never understood being excited about winning that "prize"...if he did it with you, he'll do it to you. It's not worth being angry about though...karma brings it all around again.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/24/2010

EXACTLY Anyanka!!!!

Laura, you're seperated from your husband, you're not sneaking around, you're not saying oh hunny I'm going into work early but really seeing some another man.
If a woman is with a man that she knows is married or with someone else than that is cheating, and she is wrong for doing it.

I'm talking about Men who are with their wives as a family/couple and seeing another woman on the side.
As for those that win the boobie prize, I've never heard about one where the man didn't cheat on them.

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

Leaving a spouse and immediately dating is NOT the same. My ex-husband was incrediably violent and physically as well as verbally abusive. I left him and started dating again right away. Mostly because I was scared of being alone.

Dating soon after a seperation is NOT the same at all. I also don't fault women who find out their significant other is married, after the relationship started.

It's the women who know, absolutely without a doubt, that they are seeing a married man, and don't care about the repricussions of their actions, and who they hurt.

I'm sorry about your ex. And I understand how long divorces take. My divorce was very messy and long. Custody battles are never fun.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

When I said she seemed to be angry, I meant that she was targeting ONE person in particular. and making them out to be the villain...that's all.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

fair enough...sorry...but no, the OW is not to blame...she took no oath...other than that...I back off. :)



I only say this because LEGALLY, I am not divorced...I started seeing my (husbandish type person) within weeks of my separation...my ex husband was emotionally abusive, he cheated on me, and you guys would have me believe that my NEW husband is as much to blame...NO...sometimes that's not the case.

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

However you want to justify it. I just can't imagine anyone thinking its ok to claim they love that man and his child, all the while deeping hurting said child by purposely breaking up his/her home. Color it any way you want to, its wrong and the woman is only thinking of herself. Not exactly the ideals a good stepmom is made out of.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/24/2010

Laura,
Yes, the OW is to blame she knew he was married and so didn't he, so they're both to blame.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/24/2010

Laura,
I don't see any anger in Anyanka's posts.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

if a man cheats on you...he needs to own it...the other woman made no promise (to anyone)

no 50% for anybody...100% to the cheater.

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

I'm sorry that you have defective ears.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

sorry, you just sound angry and bitter to me.

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

Because I have many friends who's marriages have been destroyed by adultry, and it bothers me when women act like it is no big deal, and have no fault in it. It is indeed 50% their fault, and if they ever hope to be respected at all in any civil society, and not considered trash, they need to own it, and not try to disguise it. People make mistakes. But trying to justify it, just reaffirms the sin.

The rest of my post goes on to state, that while I understand ill feelings between exes and currents, the only thing that truly matters at the end of the day, is being civil for the sake of the kids.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

If indeed your real problem was the children then why was your first post this

If you had a relationship with a married man, then the ex has every right under the sun to blame you till the day you die. You can justify it any way you want, but messing with a married man is wrong.

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

Like I said before, in case the point, again, was missed, the only thing that matters is how the children are taken care of. I'm not sure why that concept and practice is so largely over looked.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

MY 'poor me parade'? I was asking a question about you. Rest assured, that there is no 'poor me' parade.

I'm not being defensive, I suggest that perhaps you are

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

No, Its called being a mature adult and knowing right from wrong. I am sorry if that rains on your 'poor me' parade, but a real mother knows that nothing else matters except for their child's happiness. Sitting around shit talking the ex, or whining that she hates you, is immature and selfish. If you slept with her husband, shes going to hate you. She's always going to hate you. And she has every right to.

But if you actually care about making it work, providing a workable relationship and doing whats best for the children caught in between, you'd make the effort to take care of them, and not spend the time tearing each other apart.

Maybe if you weren't so defensive, you'd see the actual point in what is being said.

Isobel - posted on 09/24/2010

WOW Anyanka, you sound really angry...it would probably be much healthier if you were to seek therapy in order to work out the demons that you seem to have. Because the children's welfare is far more important than your revenge

Anyanka - posted on 09/24/2010

If you had a relationship with a married man, then the ex has every right under the sun to blame you till the day you die. You can justify it any way you want, but messing with a married man is wrong.



That being said, there is certaintly no love lost between my child's soon to be stepmom and I. But mostly I just feel really terrible for her. I sincerely hope he doesn't start beating her too.

Anyways, We have found a nice and civil ground to communicate on, and we both work hard not to step on each's others toes, so to speak.



Because how we feel about each other, quite frankly, does not matter. The only thing that matters is the happiness of my child.

Francine - posted on 09/24/2010

I don't blame you. I hope you come up with a peace that let's you live YOUR life with your man and children. Some people like that just never ever change. That is their lifestyle being victims. My husband finally got the point that a 'DIVORCE' was necessary and that we finally needed to seriously get our act straight legally be together and have OUR FAMILY. Without her to interfere, hurt me, blame me and all else. I hope for the best that you get the same to live with out blame. Keep your head up and stay strong. You deserve to feel secure, comforted and loved. The very ones that also feels this effect is the children. So hopefully they learn grown up lifestyles because your part of their lives. Aloha and take care.

Francine - posted on 09/24/2010

I don't blame you. I hope you come up with a peace that let's you live YOUR life with your man and children. Some people like that just never ever change. That is their lifestyle being victims. My husband finally got the point that a 'DIVORCE' was necessary and that we finally needed to seriously get our act straight legally be together and have OUR FAMILY. Without her to interfere, hurt me, blame me and all else. I hope for the best that you get the same to live with out blame. Keep your head up and stay strong. You deserve to feel secure, comforted and loved. The very ones that also feels this effect is the children. So hopefully they learn grown up lifestyles because your part of their lives. Aloha and take care.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/15/2010

Adding to my post: Don't put your relationship with your stepkids on hold, for the fear that it will tick off the ex. Boundries can be our friends.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/15/2010

Marcella, I rarely see my sons stepmom, but when I do its at their home. She doesn't come along to school events, or sporting events. Last year our son played football and she didn't come to any of the games except one but that was only because my ex couldn't go. It doesn't bother me and apparently not him if she doesn't come along. I was a stepmom before too to my ex's daughter and I didn't go with him to go pick up his daughter, because to me that was just extra time for the both of them (plus if you know a fight will break out, why bother?) with that said, sometimes as stepparents we (not me anymore) have to stay away from situations that is going to cause chaos. and ftr I never got along with her mother but we were both able to stay out of each others lives and personal space. Stepparenting is a hard job and the important thing is is to have boundries with your stepkids mom. I also only communicate with my ex and that makes it much easier for the both of us.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/15/2010

Post another comment

Marcella - posted on 09/13/2010

Elizabeth you are so right I would do anything for us to all get along like that honestly, the kids are getting grown and going to start school soon and how are they going to feel when mommy,stepmommy and daddy show up at events I dont want them to be afraid of a fight or argument to break out because she wont let go

Elizabeth - posted on 09/12/2010

My ex and I get along pretty well. Its too bad he has to keep us getting along away from his wife. Not all ex's are crazy sometimes its the new wife that can't accept that their husband and his ex are friends. It may not be the case for you all, but we go together to eat lunch with our son at school and hang out. a man can have friends right?

Marcella - posted on 09/12/2010

Jennifer I honestly don't think women like that will ever stop throwing things in our faces, I got with my husband 7 months AFTER he left his ex wife and she blames me for their split up,my husbands ex has been in and out of relationships and even though now she has won custody (by lying to the courts) of their two youngest and we will get the oldest she now wants to call my husband and message him thinking she has the right and says it is "for the kids" she talks to him more than the kids but he now says if the kids dont want to talk then i am gonna go. So probably no she will never accept the fact you are with your b/f and she is probably with this other guy to make your b/f jealous which they dont understand that it dont make people jealous good luck

Yellow - posted on 08/30/2010

Honey!!! I know how you feel. In most cases, the ex wife doesn't move on until she finds someone else... which is why I do not understand why your BF ex is acting that way. Trust me, my husbands ex blames me for everything as well and thinks that they had the most perfect marriage until I came into the picture and "seduced" him as she called it and I was the "harlot" as she called me. They had the perfect marriage and life until I destroyed it... that is what she told me and everyone else... lol little did she know I was hearing their entire conversations about them divorcing! Ex's are very hard to deal with.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/06/2010

You seem like a strong woman, hopefully you'll take it better when he decides he wants to get rid of you.

Sam - posted on 03/05/2010

I get where your coming from. I met my now husband the day that his divorce became final. The very next week she sent be an email on my myspace page calling me everyting under the sun and then telling me that she can't wait for him to cheat on me the way he cheated on her. The funny thing to me is that she's remarried now and her husband looks EXACTLY like my husband (her ex). I've had peolple call me wondering why they saw my husband and his ex walking around Walmart together. Sad thing is my husband's at home with ME. She's sick. Can we say get over your past relationship and start focusing on your own life, as sick as it may be that your still hung up on her ex-husband that you went out and found someone that looks JUST like him.

Susan - posted on 03/05/2010

couldnt have said it better