Feeling Guilty about leaving my son in day care.

Brittney - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I took a semester off of school to take care of my son full time. I am returning back to school in May to catch up and get me back on track for graduation. Since I need to go full time to get my GI bill benefits I need to leave him at a day care. He'll be 4 months old when I return and I feel so guilty about leaving him all day. Is this a normal feeling? I also start to have seperation anxiety when I leave him for more than 3 hours at time. Any advice would help.

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Rebecca - posted on 04/01/2010

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oh yeah that is totally normal. It is so hard to leave our kids with someone else!! each day will get better and better. My favorite part about day care is when you pick them up and they are thrilled to see you. Just focus on the positive and you'll get through this.

Keshia - posted on 03/18/2010

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i felt the same way leaving my daughter in daycare but honestly its great for their development and social skills. day care helps kids learn to share, meet new people, and interact with others in a positive manner. it also helps them build amunity and acording to Lexi's doctor children do much better with illness in school if they are exposed to things earlier in their life time. dont feel bad about the "sacrefices" you make to go back to school, sometimes their not really sacrefices at all. Good Luck!

Taghreed - posted on 03/18/2010

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This is very normal feeling. I had the same feeling when I did my course but by the time you will learn that good for you and for him as well.

Heather - posted on 03/17/2010

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This is very normal in my opinion. I had to go back to work 2 weeks after I had my last child and had to put all three of my children into daycare for the first time. Because my mother was the one who watched my children before this, I was nervous. I do not regret my decision to take my children to daycare. For the first two weeks or so my children acted out while I was there dropping them off or picking them up. This was temporary and I did notice that their social skills improved and my daycare also works with them on basic skills like colors, writing and numbers. My children like daycare and I have even made a friends with the daycare person. Don't feel guilty. Do some research on daycares in your area and go to multiple interviews. Choose the daycare that fits you and your child best.

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Kiley - posted on 03/21/2014

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Go with your gut. You can always go to school later. You will only have your baby once. I'm a student too and have had to go without grants and loans so I can go to school part time (one to 2 classes at a time) and be with my kids most of the time. I get a small grant but pay out of my pocket too. It's not easy. We don't have a lot of money but it always works out somehow. We just do it by faith. But I know several mothers who do decide to go to school full time and I think they are great moms and strong women for doing so much. :-) I would just listen to your own intuition. You know what's right for you.

Amanda - posted on 04/19/2010

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i might have to put my daugher in daycare next year because of school too an im very nervous and feel guilty also. but the things is that good quality daycares actually can be beneficial to kids. Im learning about this right now in school and it helps them with social skills and getting use to the idea of structure which will help them when they go to school. its also important that your child can feel comfortable around other people besides you and studies show that daycare doesnt loosen the bond as long as you make sure to still create special memories when you are together. even tho i kno all of this im still nervous but in the long run your doing a good thing because school is very important and its better to get it done sooner rather than later. but also did you see if there are online classes you can take instead of actually having to go to class?

Dana - posted on 04/12/2010

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I completely understand your concern. My son went to daycare when he was 6 weeks old. I cried on and off most of the day, but I didn't have another option. Bills have to be paid! Then when he was 1 1/2 I went back to school. I was so scared that he would be in daycare all day, but that wasn't the case he is usually there for about 4 to 5 hours. Now that I am going to school for Elementary Education with a minor in Early Childhood Education I understand why it is a good idea for children to have social interaction away from mom and dad. When children attend daycare either full or part-time they get the opportunity to interact with other children and work on social skills. This will help to prepare them for Elementary School and will also make the transition so much easier! It is hard to take your child to daycare because you feel that you are the only one that knows how to care for them the right way. You do know your child the best, but in the long run this benefit both of you. Hold your chin up and do a lot of research before you send him to a center. Look for adult to child ratio, how much interaction time your child will receive, safety procedures, education of staff, and look for a place that is accredited or working towards accreditation. Good Luck, it does get easier with time!

Anna - posted on 03/23/2010

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i felt the same way when i put my son in daycare, but like some of the other mothers i noticed his social skills improve. Just do your homework and make sure that your children are going to be attending an adequate daycare. I am very happy with my decision and hope you will be too !

Laure - posted on 03/22/2010

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If you didn't think it was wrong (on some level), then you wouldn't feel guilty. Also read articles about this type of issue...some psychologists have said that "when a mother drops her baby at daycare or leaves him with a nanny, she's neglecting her child's needs. It may not be politically correct to admit it, but children who are raised by parental substitutes, whether by nannies or by daycare, do not get their needs met, and suffer as children and adults." Good luck.

Stephanie - posted on 03/22/2010

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I was VERY nervous too. I didn't even like to leave my son at home with my fiance because I thought only I could properly care for him. Well then reality set in and I couldn't always be with him. Our son went to daycare when he was 5 months old. I cried every time I left him. We found a daycare that we really can trust which made all the difference. I still rush to get him when I get off work our out of class, but I can actually concentrate during the day. It got easier with time.

Melissa - posted on 03/21/2010

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Yes, it is a very normal feeling; My oldest child has been in daycare since she was six months old and she almost four years old and I still feel guilty. The benefits of him going to daycare are that she is a very social girl and is learning things that will help her in preschool. But the benefit will be you will also get to finish your degree which benefit the both of you in the long run. When you drop him off give a big kiss and a hug and tell him you will see him soon and it will help make you feel better even though he may not understand. Just remember when you are feeling sad and anxious; you are going back to school to make his life better.

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