How do you do it??

Sara - posted on 03/31/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am a single mother of a 6year old boy. Currently I am going to school to be a Surgical Tech. I am doing my externship (clinical) at Kaiser in Irvine Ca. It is so hard to feel like I am spending qaulity time with my son between homework and just being wiped out from the day. I feel bad but sometimes I jsut want quiet time to myself. I feel like such a horrible mom. How does everyone else cope??

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Misty - posted on 08/17/2009

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You aren't alone. I feel like I neglect my son at times. Between the homework, reading, studying, research at the library, housework, me time, Husband time, and son time, I feel as if I am a complete failure in the mom department. I know that my son is my motivation for going to school but at times I just feel like it would be easier to quit and stay with him. At least if I did that I would be able to tuck him in during the school year or read him a book without worrying about falling asleep and not getting my work done. I just have to stay focused on my goal and pray that everything I am doing will pay off for us in the long run.

Andrea - posted on 08/17/2009

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Let me give you a point of view from the other side. I was 7 years old when my mom went back for her bachelor's degree and RN. She was working part time and taking at least 15 hrs a semester. Yes, I missed her terribly during the day, and nights were hard because she was studying and had limited time to play, but the time we did spend together meant more because of that. I was 10 when she finished and I still remember how proud I was of her. I have NEVER resented the time she spent away. You used the key word "quality". As long as the time you give your child is focused entirely on him, without distraction, the quantity isn't important.

Lupita - posted on 08/06/2009

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Your a great mom!!!! It is hard but I must agree with the scheduling. It really helps. Dont give up. I did and it took me almost 6 years to get back to school. I just finished undergrad and am now in grad school. My husband helps me a lot and the kids are now in Boys and Girls Club afterschool and they love it and it has been so positive for them. My quality time with my son is taking him to soccer practice and his games and staying there. I let my daughter "do" my makeup or paint my nails and she loves that. I even take the kids individually to the store and spend time with them that way. You just have to figure out what works for you and your child. Keep it up. it will all be worth it when you are done with school.

Ciara - posted on 08/04/2009

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First of all you're an excellent mother because you're taking the effort to care about your son!! second, we're close! I just live in Upland and go to school in Rancho. Being a mom period is hard work, but adding school and life into the mix, we've all been there before and you shouldnt get down on yourself. Keep your spirits up! It'll all be over with and you'll have more time with your son and you'll have your career!

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Yep its a tricky balancing act! I agree with the schedule suggestion! Time needs to be managed carefully so everything can "fit" into your life. Make the quality time you spend with him really extra special. I have done that with my son who is nearly 13. Choose your battles with him. Try and explain to him why you are doing what you are doing, and perhaps discuss ways you can support one another at home and with education. After all education is a life long journey!

Julia - posted on 07/16/2009

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I make a schedule and I stick to it. I factor in EVERYTHING with a least 2 hours extra for emergencies. My son in 4 years old so i get how hard it can be. I even schedule in time for me to spend quality time with him. Not the time used to eat dinner or argue with him about his room or picking up his toys. Real QUALITY time actually doing something every day. Some days I get lucky and get 5 hours of sleep. Others days not so lucky and only get 1. But I am a single parent, with a full time job and a full course load of 15-18 credits every semester,I do the best I can

Diana - posted on 07/11/2009

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And i thought I was the only one feeling soo bad. I go to school too, for nursing. I spend 3 days a week at school and spend the rest of my days studying. I truly feel soo bad that my daughter desperately wants me to spend time with her..I know she doesnt understand that this is vital, for us. I am a single mom and find it hard to do so. Shes such an energetic little girl that loves to spend time with family and friends, but I cannot give her that right now. I feel horrible!! I guess I just think that later on she'll understand and see that college is an important thing to do and she'll just do it cuz I did. But its also the "just knowing this is for the better" that gets me through it.

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I rely heavily on my extended family. Just knowing that my daughter is in capable hands, and with people that love and care for her makes me feel better about not spending as much time with her. Just remember that it's a short term thing! you'll be out of school and back to your life with your child in no time!

Christina - posted on 07/10/2009

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The struggles we go through and the sacrifices we make now are to better our income and situation. In the end, once you have graduated and are settled into your job, you will reap the benefit of the quality time that you are missing now. It is hard to handle and we do have feelings of guilt, but this will all soon pass. You have decided to embark on an adventure that will return to you all that you feel you are osing now. Hang in there.

Brittney - posted on 04/30/2009

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hey i am a pre-law student and i dont have clinicals but two weeks after the birth of my daughter i had to go right back to classes because it was the end of the semester. i held her while doing homework because i felt so guilty... i later regretted that lol but anyways i still feel that way because its like im in the room with her but im not paying attention to her. its so bad at times that i feel guilty letting her daddy take care of her for a bit while i try to grab a nap... (im six months preggo and have had a very up and down, and hard pregnancy this time) I know that i am doing what is right for my family though and i just keep telling myself that. but the truth is now that i have my daughter i cant wait to pay off my student loans and be a full time stay at home momma

Sarah - posted on 04/03/2009

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I know exactly how you feel!! I work part time-6 days a week, and am enrolled full time in school. It's exhausting, and you never really feel like you get enough sleep! I also look forward to the future, I think to myself  "After this, life will be so much easier, and I will look back and wonder how the heck I did it!!" And yes, I desperately crave alone time, to just sit and "be" as my husband says. I have hired a sitter so I could go to Barnes n' Noble to sit and read silly magazines like People and US weekly, and Noah goes to church Wednesday nights so I have some alone time when I get out of night class than too. One day you'll look back and be so glad you did this! And what a great inspiration to your son!

Ana - posted on 04/02/2009

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You're a great mom! You are making a better life for you and your son. That's the way I look at it. I have a 2 year old and am taking 6 college classes. I also work 2 days a week. I feel the same way you do. But I think about how much better our lives will be once I'm done with school. We do it for them. You're also leading by example. You're a great role model and I'm sure he's proud of you.

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