How to bring up a child, keep a house and go to Uni

Tracey - posted on 01/26/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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Can anybody tell me if they find it hard to do the above? I have a 8 year old daughter. I feel guilty doing homework when she is up. So what do i do? i do not do work when she is up. Instead i wait for her to go to bed (anything from 8.00- 9.00 depending on my timetable), i tidy the house, get our clothes ready for the next day, pack away the washing and pack our bags. By this time it's 9.30 - 10pm, i feel tired but i have to do some work. I'm currently studying Primary Education. This is my second year. Childcare is also a nightmare as our timetable has a lot of early starts and late finishes. Please if anyone has any suggestions how i could manage my time better, let me know.

Thanks

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Caroll - posted on 03/17/2009

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Try sitting her down for silent reading while you study.  And try explaining to her why you have to study...and how she is helping you and her by reading a book for a little while.  This might make her feel like a big girl and willing help by giving you some quiet time to study.

Amie - posted on 02/26/2009

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I am a full time student with 2 boys, one in 6th grade, and one in Kindergarten, with a husband overseas.  I have one room in our house with 2 desks. I sit at one with my older son, and the small desk for my younger, we all do homework together, when my younger son is done he colors.



I agree with having your daughter help. My older son is a HUGE help around the house. I try to get them involved with dinner too. I suppose its harder with one child, because you want to make sure she gets attention. with 2 boys they run off and play together alot.



When I have a huge test to study for, I rent movies and make them popcorn, or even let them have a friend over to stay the night.

Jill - posted on 01/31/2009

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You definately aren't alone.  I have the same issue but with two kids under two.  I am in my third year of nursing school and there is so much work that has to be done.  We try to find times during the day when I get home to have them sit and watch their favorit movie or we go outside and i bring out my laptop to work.  As long as they are playing, I am able to do my homework.  I also try to do any classes I can online so I can be at home with them more often.  When we clean up and do laundry, they help me.  We pick up clothes and toys together and I sometimes give them a dollar for helping and when they have enough to buy something, they get so excited.  Good luck.  I know how hard it can be.

Heather - posted on 01/29/2009

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Does your daughter have homework? You and she could do homework together. It will encourage her to do her work, let you get some of your work done, and show her the importance of school work. I also agree with Andrea, getting her involved with packing her own bag before she goes to bed and picking out her own clothes would take a little bit off of you. We have a schedule for our son of things that need to be done before he goes to bed and when he wakes up, it makes it a lot easier to keep the house tidy and not put so much on me at the end of the day. Good luck!!

[deleted account]

Ok, you're my hero, and I'm sure you are your daughter's hero!  But, I wonder if she realizes how much you do as a mom?  My mom told me it's good to do housework WITH your child b/c it teaches her not only how to do it, but it's also a huge help.  It's not easy in the beginning though b/c you have to walk her through everything, but eventually when you tell her to do something, she'll have the tools to do it on her own.  You could also develop some kind of system with rewards (like an allowance--doesn't have to be money necessarily) to help her get an idea of how work pays off.  Just a suggestion on one of the ways to save some time with housework.  AND give yourself more credit! 

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Erica - posted on 03/24/2013

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Thanks for the helpful advice. I will give that a try. I have tried it in the past and I feel so bad when my house is messy. I hate when I have unexpected company and they looking so judgmental about how I keep my house. Don't get me wrong, I do clean but sometimes I am not able to.

Erica - posted on 03/24/2013

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I understand how you feel, Tracey. I have a seven year old son myself. I am going to school for my associates' of Science degree in Medical Administrative Assisting. I feel guilty myself trying to do school work when he is up. I try to do work while he is in school but there is so much to do like chores.

Lona - posted on 03/21/2009

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I am learning that life as a student, and mom is about juggling, and not going crazy !!   And mostly letting house work go, I love a clean house, and now well since Sept, my house has been messy, but there is just no time some or most weeks. My daughter is 12 and my son is 3, and I am a second year nursing student. I find holiday a whole new thing to look forward to. That extra day off, (Hopefully week) is amazing for re-gaining sanity.



So my advice, let all the little things go,  do what you can, and do not stress over what you cant get done    :   )



 

Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2009

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Yes! Yes! Yes! It is very difficult to do all of the above. For one thing, being a mom is a full-time job. I have a 3 year old and a 15 year old. I stay home with my 3 year old and it is so difficult to get it all done. I am studying Special Education at night and I break down and cry several days a week because I am overwhelmed. I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to better my family's future along with the other great things that teaching does. I don't think that  you should feel guilty at all by doing homework when she is awake. You guys could do your homework together maybe. The important thing is quality time. Maybe you guys could clean up the house together while dancing around listening to your favorite music. Sometimes we have to let go of the chores and not try to keep a spotless house. I wish that I could make suggestions for managing your time better, but I am still battling with that. I am trying to create a schedule that I can stick too. Good luck and God bless you.   

Keturah - posted on 03/17/2009

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you are a great mom... I know u can do it.. I have 4 kids .. did my undergrad and am now about to go to grad school if I get excepted. drink (low cal red bull) lol......do u work and go to school? what is your school scedule like. I only went to school and didn't work when I did my undergrad..... I tried to arrange my classes where I had gaps in between classes to do HW and papers... while my kids were in school or daycare. Tell me if you work and go to school and I can better help. I think I am a pro, I did it for 4 years straight.

Caroll - posted on 03/17/2009

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Try sitting her down for silent reading while you study.  And try explaining to her why you have to study...and how she is helping you and her by reading a book for a little while.  This might make her feel like a big girl and willing help by giving you some quiet time to study.

Tre'Neshia - posted on 03/11/2009

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I agree with Heather. I figure your daughter is 8 so she's in 2nd or third grade her homework cant be that hard. SHe probably has spelling and mathe maybe some reading comprhension. Since she ony has homework twice a week and you have it everyday. I suggest finding out what her trouble area is or her favorite subject and buy a work book or two for her to work in while you work. That way ya'll get bonding time and you get work done!

Summer - posted on 02/28/2009

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Do you have any family or friends around? I am working on my masters in Nursing, I'm in my last semster and working and it has been dificult with a young child. My son is  18 months and into everything. I cannot do homework with him awake for several reasons, guilt, destratction, etc. I use an in home daycare that lets me do drop in care near my house and utilize friends and family to get lots of homework done as my husband works alot. They enjoy spending time with him and he has lots of fun! I also use his nap time as a homework time. I don't know how to keep the house as clean as I would like and keep up with everything else. I try to do the best I can and deep clean when I get a break. Good luck!

Suzi - posted on 02/24/2009

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It is terribly hard! You just have to keep going and remember that doing this is going to make a better life for your daughter. Why don't you try doing your homework together, I also work on it during the breaks between my classes. If your day care allows it maybe pick her up an hour later or something like that to work on homework.

Terrica - posted on 02/23/2009

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My daughter just turned 1 last week and keeping up with her and going to school is definitely a handful. One way I save time through the week is by ironing both of our clothes for the week either on Saturday and Sunday. Also, I just tidy up through the day, doing small things while she is distracted with her toys. I dont do a lot of work while she is awake because she is in love with paper, but I do keep everything in the room with me for times that she is distracted or taking a quick nap. Being a mother is a tough job and I commend you on continuing your education and being a mother to your daughter

Danie - posted on 02/23/2009

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I fell pregnant in my second year at uni (i do a 3 year degree course). And due to feeling so ill in my pregnancy im having to study my second year modules that i failed again this year then go back to do my third year next year. As i gave birth to my son in dec 08 it was right at the end of the first term and in the second term ive been struggling to find babysitters and the energy to go to uni as my partner works from 9am-11pm some days. I really want to push myself but i need some time for me too. I feel like giving up sometimes but i know my degree will be better for my family in the lon run. Especially when my partner wont have to work so much. x

Amy - posted on 02/10/2009

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You guys are all so encouraging! I fell pregnant in the middle of my first year as a speech and language therapist and am going back to finish the second and final year in september. I'm really scared that I'm not going to be able to juggle everything, especially as my son will only be 13 months old when i return, but knowing that there are others out there too, and doing such a great job, helps me not to worry so much. I'm going to really make the most of the next 9 months study-free and not waste it dreading the day I go back.



I hope all your kids appreciate that you do all this for them cos you wanna make life better for them :o)

[deleted account]

Just remember guys, the hard work we put in now will ALL BE WORTH IT.  It's temporary and it won't last forever!  Then when we're done, we'll all have jobs we want!  (hopefully)  I'm remembering a woman my mom is friends with who worked really hard as a single mom, having 2 girls and going to school at the same time (PLUS she's foreign and had trouble with English).  She put studying above time with her girls sometimes (when she was able as they got older, about 8 or 9ish) and just told them to be quiet b/c it's mommy's study time.  They are older now and really understand the importance of education and dedicating your time to studying.  So, just know that you're being a good example to your children by doing your homework at home when it's necessary!

Serena - posted on 02/09/2009

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I'm going to be starting University next year. I'm not looking forward to all the rushing around its going to involve! As yet I don't have a timetable to it's impossible for me to start planning or looking in to babysitters, luckily my classes will start no earlier than 9.30am so mornings are going to be fairly easy.

From the sounds of things I am going to have to start veing very disciplined, I'm already messy and disorganised and at the moment I'm just at home!

Andrea-Jayne [AJay Jimajay] - posted on 02/08/2009

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wow, looks like youve got some great advice here. all i can say is well done for getting as far as you are and for staying in education, its very hard and i dont think that student mums [especially young mums] get enough credit for what they have to get through everyday.

i am also in the same boat as you. i am 21 and a single mum with a two year old [so its hard to involve her in my routine of getting her ready for the next day as shes so young, although i try] and im also 5 months pregnant. im doing my second year of preschool education too and its quite stressful doing a 6 hour day at college, then coming home to my child and the housework, and also doing a work placement. im barely getting by as im newly single [2 months ago, after a 5 year relationship] so im struggling as i used to have the help from my partner.

its good that there are so many mums out there to give us advice as at the moment i feel like im in a vicious circle and its very tiring trying to get my coursework done when my child barely sleeps!

[deleted account]

i'm 19 years old, married with a two year old daughter and i work part time and go to college full time. it's not easy. at all. just keep pushing through. it's going to be rough no matter what you do. scheduling is the most important but it sounds like you're already doing what you can to prepare ahead. it's crazy i know. i'm sorry i'm not much help, i've gotten pretty used to it. i'm always moving.

Donna - posted on 02/04/2009

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i have a 8 yr old boy who is very demanding, im in my 3rd yr of uni & have only just given up work ( couldnt cope with uni, work, home & my son- the feeling of spreading myself to thin & ending up not doing any of it well ) i don find doing homework together helps much as he constantly talks or asks questions which put me off my own work, but encouraging her to pack her own bag & help with house work i.e getting her own clothes ready 4 the next day, making her own bed, hoovering her room, putting things away is a good idea ( my son does all this- sometimes with a fight but this isnt just helping me its encouraging him to be self serficiant, much unlike his father )

i think your doing very well with the time you have!!!

limit the time you spend with homework at night, your only going to wear yourself out even more and thats not going to help. keep going its so worth the end result!!!! good luck x

Kerry - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hiya!! Just to let you know Im in the same boat, ive got an 18month old boy and a girl whos nearly 4, i work and go to uni too, infact im studying primary ed and im in my third year. Am about to start my next placement and am not looking forward to the extra workload that I will get but I guess you know how I feel!!! I struggle too sometimes. Let me know if you get any good advice that works! Looking forward to hearing from you

Liz - posted on 01/30/2009

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I am in your situation as well, expect my daughter is only 21 months. My husband has been the lifesaver when I have huge papers to work on. After dinner, the two of them have special daddy and me time while I work for an hour or two. Then I take a break when it's time for her bedtime routine. Izzy and daddy are able to have fun bonding and I get to start my homework beofer my brain feels like much at the end of the night.

Tracey - posted on 01/30/2009

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Yeah my daughter gets homework twice a week.   I will try your suggestion and let you know how it goes.  Thanks for your advice x

Tracey - posted on 01/29/2009

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Thank you Andrea, it never crossed my mind to involve my daughter.  I can see how it will 3 me up a little bit. 



I'll give it a try and let you know how we have got on. Thanks again x

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