I am a single mom going to a university. I live on campus in apartment housing and am starting my son Stephen in the daycare there. I don't have many friends and the ones I have are out of town. I get really lonely on weekends when Stephen goes to his grandma's every other weekend. How can I keep myself busy to stop crying because I can't just hang out with friends. It is hard for me to find friends.

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Rachel - posted on 10/11/2010

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Hi Alisha

My name is Rachel...and I moved to Bloomington from North Carolina not long ago. So I dont know many people either...I'm trying to meet some to hang out with and some with kids that my son can play with. Its hard for me to find friends also. So I know how you feel. All my friends live in North Carolina. Just hang in there and try meetin new ppl. If you want we can talk and stuff...its a start lol :) i sent you a request on facebook

Sharon - posted on 07/01/2009

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try to fin d out people that are on your course or talk to mums at the nursery, sometimes we have to find the courage to speak first. where's ur univeraty and how old is ur son? spk to ur health visitor or gp and ask about groups or where ur local sure start centre is. have a chat with your gp you could be depressed and they can help and support u as can your personal tutor or chaplin at uni. hope this helps

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Chelsa M - posted on 11/20/2010

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hello Alisha.

first off, I totally feel for you. I'm in the same situation, except I go to a community college where's there's no on-campus housing, so I live at home with my family. I'm going to put my son Toryn in daycare at the school during the day as soon as he's old enough, and then my mom will watch him at night. honestly, as long as you don't put your guard up, people who understand will come to you, or at least that's how it happened in my case. I have 3 really good friends I met in one of my lab classes, and they totally understand, and they also help me out from time to time with babysitting and what-not. if it wasn't for them, I don't know how I would be able to still go to school.

if you ever need to vent or anything, feel free to message me on here and I'll give you my e-mail address.

Bonnie - posted on 10/12/2010

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Hi Alisha,

I'm also a full time student at a University and I live off campus. I'm also a single mom of a 12 yr old boy and I feel like I don't spend enough time with him. My college doesn't have family housing so it made it difficult to transition. I lost my dad this summer and my mom has dementia and now lives two hours away. I moved an hour away from everything I knew and grew up around to go to the best nursing program in the state. I have 17 semester hours and no job. Did I mention I'm single? I moved with no friends here, no support group and in unfamiliar territory. I have found a few people around me in my program of study that I can talk to if needed. But I'm about 6 weeks into the semester and doing better now. Also, the University offers counseling and it's included in my tuition already. I also reached out and became part of a Student Support group for my studies. I have hard days and some are worse than others. I had a complete meltdown the other day and found that I needed that because I'm now even more determined to do it.

And to Rachel, I live in North Carolina so I felt the urge to reply to this conversation.

I understand both of you about not knowing anyone and making friends. I don't have time to make friends and the ones I had are an hour away now.

Feel free to friend me on FB but in a the message part, let me know you read/replied on this post on Circle Of Moms or I will not know who you are.

Thanks,

Bonnie

Alisha - posted on 07/02/2009

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Hey thanks very much it does help. I live in Bloomington, IN. Going to Indiana University and they don't have much when it comes to families. I have found a friend from another apartment by my place and she is from Egypt. It is pretty cool. I will have to try that idea with the day care sounds good and the Child care center Stephen goes to is open minded... My boyfriend who no longer lives with me but we still see each other when there is time He goes to school in Indy so it makes it hard to see each other but we still know how each other is feeling!! But he gave me the idea that it can be done and I am soo happy that I listened to him. It may be hard but I an determined to make my life better for Stephen and myself.
I am happy for you to start in September...what are you going for?? I am going for something is environment conservation world wide. Hope everything works out for you and thanks for your help!!!
alisha atherton

Camille - posted on 07/02/2009

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First off let me just say congrats on being able to do that. Not a lot of mothers have the strength to do what you are doing. I am going back to college in September so I kinda understand how hard it can be. But I live with my hubby, not that he helps out around the house much anyway. .......

Try an Early Years Center, I found in the hardest times they were so amazing. You can go to little get togethers the mommy and me programs and it's soo nice just to let the kids play while you just chat randomly to the other moms. Its a nice escape. The day care's too sometimes have little events for all the parents to get to know each other, depending on the day care, but you could always suggest it if they don't. It's not easy to make friends when your a mom and living on campus I'm sure makes it so much harder. Surrounded by students who have the time to go and party when they aren't studying.

In what area do you live? I live near Ottawa and we have such an amazing community here for struggling parents. I really hope that this helps. Best of luck with everything.

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