SAHM back in school for 2nd BS in Nursing contemplating having a second child

J - posted on 09/25/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home mom of a 3 almost 4 year old. I have been home with my 3 year old off and on since he was a year an a half. I recently went back to school this past spring and just reapplied for an accelerated nursing program. My husband is preparing to deploy and we are contemplating having a second child. I have raise my 3 yr pretty much by my self since his dad is always working I balance home life and taking care of my son and still trying to find a job. Since i may be getting into a nursing program soon I really can't work because school is going to be very demanding. he currently goes to preschool 3 days a week part time but eventually may have to go full time. my question is, is insane to bring in a second child right now. I don't want the age difference to be too far off or too close, but when is the right time to have a second child? My friends with multiple children and are apart of the military say if my husband is around or not I will always do most of the work by myself. My friends with no children or 1 child say to wait till im in a better place all around but really is there ever a good time to have another baby? If anyone can shed some light I would be grateful.

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Christol - posted on 01/06/2012

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This is a tough decision. I was a military dependent and mother of two at one time; this alone was stressful with a husband gone all the time (and being in a different country). Or course it is possible to have three children (or more) and go to school; or to be pregnant and attend college while contemplating delivery. I have been in college since 2004, am now the mother of five -two born while I was in school. I am an online student, however. After the birth of a child I usually just cut the hours I was taking so I would be able to keep up. It is NOT easy. My daughter just had her first child and is starting her third semester of college this Spring, and she is nervous. I expect to finish my MA within the next two years...at about the same time my youngest will begin Kindergarten. But a better question for you might be, "Will I have time for my children working as a full-time nurse?" Certainly women all around the world do this all the time, and very well. But if you are worried about beginning school and having another child, think beyond that. This is only one hurdle in a lifetime. It's your choice. If you choose to do it, you CAN, but expect to burn a lot of midnight oil.

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Nicole - posted on 01/12/2012

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My husband and I were prior Army and when we got out (medically) is when we decided to have a family. I have been going to school full time since I've been out (pregnant and raising our daughter). We are now planning on having our second because the time is great to have another because I will be able to spend more time with my child(ren) while I'm at school (grad school for speech-language pathology) than it will be when I am working full time. Mind you my husband is also a civilian security contractor, so we are waiting to find out when he leaves for Afghanistan. I was pregnant and had my daughter without him and can do it again. All you need is a strong family/friend support or a trustworthy sitter to watch you children while you are in school I would suggest if you do decide to have another weigh your options and look to see if there is a school you can go to for your nursing degree that is online and in the classroom, maybe not the accelerated course (since it is so demanding).

Kate - posted on 01/06/2012

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Well all i can ask is your guys ready to have another child??? you gotta be ready to raise 2 children on your own first, trust me i have had 4 children and trust me you REALLY have to be prepared to raise 2 children on your own

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2012

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I am a full time BSN nursing student in a traditional 4 year university. Mother of two, 6 and 4 years old. I had to drop my part time work to keep up with schooling. My own program in extremely demanding. You are the only one who knows your limits, but if you can hold off till graduation, you will have that much less stress in your life. If it's an excelerated progam, you should only have about 18 months of classes right? Wait if you can. You will also need full time daycare, and infants care is extremely expensive. Lay out all the pros and cons, add up the cost, and follow your heart. We are very ready for a third baby in the house, but I know I can't handle it till graduation. I also have a history of complicated and difficult pregnancies, so this makes it harder for me then others. I am in a support group for mothers, and there are some who continue to add to their families with very few complications, but very few choose this. It tends to be a suprise addition. I am sure you already know what you want to do. I would only say, nursing classes are not very comparable to other class loads. I personally spend upto 60 hours a week on class work. Just something to think about!

Katelyn - posted on 12/01/2011

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My son just turned two. My fiance works full-time and I am in Nursing School part time and work part time. I have all my generals out of the way and I am only taking strictly nursing classes. I schedule my classes for first thing in the morning and go to work immediately after. My fiance takes our son to daycare in the morning because I have to leave earlier to be at class by 7or 8 depending on the day. This is a big relief for me that he can do that. After class I go to work until 5pm. I pick up our son at 5 (my fiance gets off work at 5 also and goes home and starts dinner) By the time me an my son roll in, dinner is just about ready. We eat dinner, have about a half hour of play time, then its bath time. After our bath we get dressed and ready for bed. We will watch an episode or two of mickey mouse club house and color and then its bed time. My son goes to bed at 8pm. I hate it, but its our schedule. I feel like I don't get to see him at all, so I want to keep him up later. That's not fair to him to get thrown off his schedule and miss out on some sleep, but at the same time I want him to be in bed by 8 so I can do my homework or study. It is really hard to balance nursing school and my son (with the stress). Its doable, but definitely hard enough for me with one child. I wouldn't be able to handle everything without my fiance! We have discussed here and there about having a second child, but I know physically and mentally I wouldn't be able to do it right now with his help much less not having any help.



I don't think there is ever going to be a "right time" for a second child. I know for me that now is not the right time, but that is a mutual understanding that my fiance and I have made based on our living situation. We don't have the time for a second child and nor could we afford to have another baby right now.

Priscilla - posted on 11/26/2011

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Hello, J. I think this is a decision that you have to make with your husband. Do you feel overwhelmed even one day of the week when you spouse is away, with schooling, and motherhood? The reason why I ask is because as a provisional counselor, I have seen this same situation with a lot of military families, to include my own. You and your husband have to equally agree that a time is the best time to add an addition to you family. I have a 15 month old, and my husband is gone all of the time as well, and after 8 years of being a military spouse, I can honestly say that it doesn't get easier. I had just given birth to my son and completing my last year a my master's, and the stress alone made me feel like I was sinking. I had a great support system while my husband was gone, and this is something I hope you have as well. Think about things. Hope this helps!!!

Jennifer - posted on 10/11/2011

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You say, 'nursing program'. But, what type of nursing program? I'm in a BSN program that is VERY demanding. Most of them are. This one is very highly rated and I've heard over and over in clinicals working with longtime nurses that we are way more prepared by our school than they ever were. But, your school/program may be different. We have 1 child whom I brought into the marriage. I'm in my late 30's, so we started trying the in vitro process last year. Well, now that I'm into the intensive part of my program, I see that it was a blessing that in vitro didn't take. I cannot imagine being able to hold a pregnancy with the stress this program evokes and the hours it demands in study time. I study, sun up to sun down. No exaggeration. I never understood why my friends who went to nursing school dropped off the planet for a couple of years... Now, I know! If your program is not a BSN program or an accelerated program like the one I'm in, it may not be out of the question for you. But, if it is, I would suggest waiting on the baby until you are almost finished up. That being said, if it's really the desire of your heart, you can make it work. I did have a friend who got pregnant while in a ADN program and made it through it. It was not easy, though. Good luck with everything!

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