Starting school guilt

Laura - posted on 07/11/2010

I am in school full-time as well and my dad will be taking care of my daughter for the majority of the time as well. You could always go part time year round, going to summer school as well. Then you could have more time with your daughter. But what I am doing is taking one class this summer, and then going full-time in the fall. That way I will get done faster and will be able to provide a better future for me and my daughter.

Carol - posted on 07/10/2010

I'm doing the same thing next month. I feel horrid that I'm going to go to school because my daughter is only 2 months and my son is going to be two next march. Also my husband wants to deploy so we have more money but that leaves me with putting my babies in daycare which scares me so much that it makes me want to cry. but I have to suck it up and do this because in the long run I will be happy and be able to provide my kids with a good future and do things I always have wanted to.

Kelly - posted on 07/10/2010

I think that she will love being a student at the same time mommy is a student. It will make her transition into studenthood so much more comfortable to have someone who shares the same challenges, fears, and excitements! Not to say that you should wait, quite the contrary. Being a mother/student gives cause for school to take a bit longer than usual, so you will probably still be in school (or at least on your way out!) when she enters. You're setting a great example for your daughter, way to go!

Anissa - posted on 07/08/2010

I just finished my Master's in Speech Pathology. I've had two children while being in the program and I wouldn't change the way I've done it. I know there were times I wasn't there, but the school schedule actually allowed me more time with them than a standard 9-5 job would have AND now I'll be the speech therapist at the school my oldest daughter will attend this fall. I did do my best to maintain a balance between school and home life.

Abby - posted on 07/08/2010

I started school back up when my son was eight months old. I was afraid of missing important milestones, but I got lucky, he started crawling the week before I started classes and walked over spring break! As a mother I know it is important to see all of these big milestones, but if you don't start school now, chances are you won't start it again. Remember that with college you don't have to have classes all day every day. Good luck!

Julie - posted on 07/01/2010

As much as it totally sucks if it were you I would just start shcool. I mean you are doing this for the both of you and you have to rember that. I'm 25 and my daughters going on 3 and Ive been working since she was 5 months. I totally wish I could have stayed home with her but I know and sometimes have to remind myself that I did it and have givin her a better life than I could have if I were to stay home.
I also started going back to school in spring quarter. Since I was gone all week well it seemed like. I made sure every sunday that I would plan a fun activitie for just the two of us to do, and honestly I'm not sure who it helped more.

Patricia - posted on 07/01/2010

Think about the end in mind :)

Brittany - posted on 06/30/2010

I'm feeling the exact same way right now. But I know that it will be better for her if I get my education and get a good paying job. Just have your dad take lots of pictures.

Nicola - posted on 06/30/2010

I did correspondence/distance schooling for what I could now i'm waiting before doing a degree as I don't think im ready to take it on (learnt this from seeing my husband go through it) and when my son is older. I am so glad I have been home with my son his whole life so far and would regret what I would have missed plus studys have shown that the mother being with their child in the first 3 years is the most important (my sons almost 2 1/2). I enjoy being here with my son and I can see the positives of it in him, we have a great bond and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My point of veiw in life is that life is too short you never know when yours or someone you loves may end and in the end what you do career wise/money wise want matter what you did for others and put into someone you love is what will matter. I feel family first, then other people, then career. I would regret when im 80 having not spent more time with those who mean the most to me ( I would also regret if something went wrong with my son down the track (getting into trouble) that I could have possibly prevented by teaching him more when he was young), not helped anyone in need that I knew I could make a difference to there lives in some possibly even small way and all I had was a certificate for doing great in my career, I mean it wouldn't mean anything because I would have traded it for everything good. I geuss it also helps I have faith in god that he will help me and guide me.

Courtney - posted on 06/29/2010

im feeling the same way :/ i know that i need to do it because i am a single mom raising my son on my own. but i'll be gone mon-thurs. 9am to 5pm and then weekend clinics. i cant afford a babysitter and i dont trust daycare. im very over protective so my grandparents watch my son. i feel as if im pining him on them.. as well. my school is only 7 months, but because it is so short i have to study my butt off to pass. and stay within the top 5 % of my class. advise?!

Nereka - posted on 06/27/2010

I feel ya..my lil girl is 4 going on 5 though really soon, so I'm not real sure if our milestones are the same or not, but just because you'll be gone, what seems a long time during the day..alot of the milestones happen even in the evening. So you won't miss all of em..and it's better to go to school now than later, especially if you have an infant! I wish school was in my plans when she was an infant than now, but that's life..Just gotta roll with the punches and it's a great blessing you have your father to help so she'll be loved all day and be with family!! That's most important. Just tell your dad, make sure he has a camera phone or a camera on 'em at all times LOL!!...So you don't miss a beat!..All this schooling is for her in the end to raise her with better oppurtunities and etc. So try not to worry too much. But I feel your pain on the guilt..I'm a single mom and feel like I'm leaving her out; when really she can't go with me to class..and for me in the fall it'll get better when she gets back in school so I'll feel better then. But keep your head up and try not to stress too much, you are still gonna be her mommy and she already knows that! :-)

Alysha - posted on 06/26/2010

Thanks everyone... I applied to college yesterday and visited the school and all i'm waiting for is just the letter saying what I all need to get to them still... I'm still a lil nervious about it all, but I know that it's whats best for me and my daughter...

Brittany - posted on 06/25/2010

You should definitely start school and you shouldn't feel bad AT ALL. If you weren't starting school that should make you feel bad, that's actually something to feel bad about. I had to go back to school 2 weeks after my son was born because I was going into my senior year of high school. It wasn't easy to do, especially since he was so young, but it had to be done. I mean, you wouldn't tell the doctor not to give her immunizations because you felt guilty about the pain it was causing her would you? This is the same thing, you're bettering her life. It will get hard and it will get stressful but just keep your eye on the prize and it will help you remain focused!

Bekah - posted on 06/23/2010

I think you should just start school! you are doing what is best for you and your daughter. If you are worried about missing too much maybe you could check into online classes or take some of your classes when you know she will be taking a nap or sleeping so you miss the least amount possible. My school offers hybrid classes which is what I take and they are half in class and half online. I love them because I have an actual professor if I need help but I do most of my work at home and I am only in school one day a week. Good luck!

El'Laina - posted on 06/23/2010

your school day won't be like it was in high school. it's really segmented...and for the most part, you can make your own schedule. (two classes a day, 3...etc..). So don't worry about missing your daughter's milestones. You probably won't. The challenge will be balancing school work with home life. Luckily your baby is young, and doesn't demand outtings, and fun things that older children do.

You'll do well, and remember that once you graduate, your quality of life will raise substantially and make it all worth it!

I have a 4 year old boy. My trouble is all logistical (getting him to school in the morning and getting him picked up)+making time for the things he likes to do and still doing my school work...etc...I just make sure my attention isn't TOTALLY away from him. I usually save my work until the late evening or wake up early to focus.

Jordan Ashleigh - posted on 06/22/2010

Start school. Why wait four years to start school when she does? If you get your schooling done in that time, you can settle down wherever you can find a job and not put her through a move after she's already started school and made friends. You won't miss her milestones. I was a full-time high school student and my daughter was nine months old when I graduated. Sure, she did new things while I was at school, but then I got to see her do those things once I got home. It really honestly wasn't a big deal. Don't sweat it.

I'm starting college this fall, too, and I'm planning on taking classes year-round so I can get my BSN in three years and we can find jobs and settle down (in a state that might actually have jobs) in time for our daughter to start kindergarten.

Sarah - posted on 06/22/2010

i agree its waht is best and providing her with a future! a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do! lol good luck

Erica - posted on 06/22/2010

lol! i don't want to say just shut up and start school, but that's basically what you should do. you won't miss everything, you'll just get it at different times during the day! i am in school right now with 2 kids. a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old. i know what i am doing is what's best for all of us. i know that by the time i finish school, my kids won't be that old, so i'll have lots of time with them. once i'm done, i plan to work nights so that i can be with them when they're home before and after school and i will be there to put them to bed. you are bettering yourself for your daughter, don't forget that. going to school will help you give her a good life and hopefully inspire her when she is older to go to college herself. keep strong, everything will turn out wonderful!