9 months pregnant.... me and the father broke up

Ashley - posted on 10/13/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

1

6

0

i still have feelings for him... he say we still need to have some type of relationship for our son...am i being selfish if i walk away and allow him to to just be apart of his son's life...

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

12 Comments

View replies by

Maci - posted on 02/21/2010

58

7

7

Ashley, I would say if you think it will work try to make it. But if you don't think it will don't hold on to the false hope. I did for over a year, knowing the whole time that with everyday I was losing more and more interest in him. Finally a month after my son's first birthday we broke up, I felt so relieved because I wasn't trying to fake that happy face for my son and my family, I was smiling because I wasn't as stressed. It was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. And our relationship wasn't helping our son at all, so if people tell you to get back with him because of your child, I say don't.. It does no good for the baby to be around the fighting and everything else.. Good luck, though. Follow your heart. :]

Danielle - posted on 02/21/2010

39

27

2

NO you are not being selfish AT ALL! If thats whats best for you and your baby then go for it!
Think of your baby!! Be civil But you dont have to be with him just because he is the father, I have a 2 year old and his father has seen him TWICE, Because he is no good for him, i made that decision to not be with him but to not keep him from his son either, its his choice to not see his son. Girl Just think of you and that baby boy! Good luck!

Amber - posted on 02/15/2010

25

22

3

NO way are you being selfish. If you have feelings for him is it enough to stay and work on the relationship or are you just staying for the sake of yoru baby? My dad was planning to split up with my mum when she was 19 (pregnant with me) and when he walked in to say it to her she said she was pregnant and he never broke up with her AND I HATED THEM TOGETHER! they fought h cheated fought more and i was always in the middle of it. I missed out heaps. Its awesom if yous do work it out for yourselves and your child but do what you think is right! YOU ARE IN NO WAY SELFISH! My friend has a 1 year old and they just broke up and shes doing great her and her baby. Still involved with her partner and working on being good parents and friends. HOPE YOUR OK!

Grace - posted on 02/04/2010

13

7

0

I broke up with my baby's daddy in January then had her in February. It was hard but it was the best decision I ever made. He ended up not really caring and not having him on the birth certificate is even better. He doesn't have an legal rights and I don't have to shuttle her around its great. He sees her on Wednesday for like 5 mins, he never calls and my baby is afraid of him. But I am glad, because he has many flaws and I had to choose the best for my daughter. Having the parents together isn't always the best answer for a child. The mother is usually, but not always. The most important thing is love and respect. If you think you can give your child to the father and that is what you think is best, go for it! I know that I did not have the strength to give my baby up.

Amber - posted on 01/22/2010

3

13

1

You should at least be civil with him because if anything you have to thank him for giving you that little boy. But that does NOT mean you have to be with him. Just be civil thats all.

Cassandra - posted on 01/21/2010

10

46

0

You need to get along and co-parent but you do not have to have a relationship... If he wants to be apart of the babys life then let him and dont push him away. the baby still needs his dad. If it is hard for you at first then set up stict visatation arrangements from the begining and have someone else do the picking up or droping off for you at first.

Alyssa - posted on 01/20/2010

3

11

0

No I dont think that you are being selfish at all. if you leave him and he wants to be in the baby's life and keeps that commitment he is going to make with your child than by all means he can just see his child. i left my sons dad when i was 5 months pregnant and it was the best thing I have ever done for my son so far, and i have no regrets for doing it.

Tiana - posted on 11/28/2009

39

16

1

No that is not selfish at all!! It has to be what is right for you as the mum. You don't need extra stress, especially if it gets taken out on the kid. You want a partner in the long run you can count on for support, not just there cuz he has to be.

Cloe - posted on 11/09/2009

20

29

5

Not at all. At the end of the day you need to think about yourself and the baby as babies even newborns can pick up if either parent is un happy and then they will play up. You need to make sure your in a happy enviroment for both of you. I was left 4 months pregant when my ex left me and i could be happier now. I still had feelings for him but once i cut all strings and realised the only person that matters is the baby i became more happier. And the father can still have a relationship with his baby you dont have to be together. xxx

Shayla - posted on 11/08/2009

3

5

0

i think u 2 should get along for the baby's sake because he needs both of his parents but dont try to force a relationship

Sabrena - posted on 10/15/2009

53

18

13

There is NOTHING wrong with you two not being together. Im not with my daughers father, and hes still a good dad to her, its better this way I think. Were more civil then we would be together and thats what kids need, parents who are focused on being parents- not trying to make a bad relationship work. At the same time tho, if you think it could work and you would be happy together then be with him.. Horomones are crazy right now, ya know?

Ashley - posted on 10/15/2009

11

13

2

If it cant work out then you shouldnt stick around for the baby. I was a teen mom and im still with the dad BUT its been a rough road and i always thought staying together for my son was the best choice now when im so attached to the way my life is, i find myself thinking it would have been best to have just let it go and just let them have there own time without us all being a family. But if for any reason you think it could work out then maybe things will get better..Sometimes when your pregnant nothing feels right to you. If your son gets to see his father no matter if yall are together or not your not being selfish..the only way thatd be the case is if you were to not allow them to have that time together.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms