A HUGE change in my life

Courtney - posted on 11/09/2008 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I dont really know where to start, i am kinda nervous bout havein this baby. I cant wait but i am still kinda nervous. The father of the baby and i are no longer together, it was hell the first couple months that i was pregnant b/c all we did was fight bout everythin and i thought that this was gunna be really bad. He told me to have an abortion b/c he did not want another male to be with me and have the baby call him daddy. But i wanted to have the baby. i was the one that had sex so i am the one that has to pay the consq. After a few months went by i found the love of my life, his name is Jacob! He is way excitied bout the baby and cant wait to be a daddy, however he too is nervous!

Here are my questions:

How do you know things are gunna be ok?

What if i need the comfort of jake but dont know how to ask him for it?

How can i afford a baby bein 18 and workin jobs that dont really pay enough?



I really cant wait to have her! she makes my day better just to feel her move and watch my tummy look like a wave going back and forth. The first time Jake felt her move his eyes got really big and he thought that it was the coolest thing ever.



How do i thank him enough for being there for me when i just really wasn't sure if i was ready to be a mom or not?



I feel like i am ready to have her, but becomein a mother at 18 does not seem.... i dont even know what the word is. so bascially i am pretty scared bout havin my baby, i dont want Jake to feel like he has to be there even though he wants to be... i just hope everythin works out!



any ideas or suggestions let me know!

Thanks

Courtney

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4 Comments

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Jessica - posted on 11/13/2008

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Hi Courtney!

I feel your pain because I was once in your shoes...sort of...I got pregnant at 16 and my boyfriend's parents wanted me to have an abortion but that was out of the question for me. So I had the baby and made it through my senior year of high school and here in December I will be graduating college with a bachelor's degree! It is possible to make it on your own. My baby's dad is now my husband after 7 long years. My son is five now and in kindergarten, but it wasn't an easy road to take. I did not live with my husband before we were married. I lived on my own with my son. I went to college everyday and worked three jobs.My family helped me alot with child care so I wasn't just wasting my money on that. But I was a receptionist at a hair salon during the days I didn't go to school, a waitress at night, and a mentor for an autistic man during the weekends and some week nights. I still saw my son quite a bit too, not as much as I would have liked but I had to make ends meet because I was renting my own house and paying all the bills. My boyfriend didn't help me because he didn't make very much money either. Another thing I would suggest doing is seeking help from Welfare. You can get food stamps and WIK to help you with food and you can get medical assistance. I know it seems overwhelming now but I wouldn't change anything that happened in my life. A baby is a wonderful thing....never think of your child as a mistake, she is just a surprise in your life. Something that wasn't planned but turned out to be a good thing! Good luck and God bless! :)

Leighna - posted on 11/13/2008

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I had my first born 2 weeks after i turned 18 and I can still remember all the uncertainty of it all...will i be able to do this?am i crazy?did all the fighting i did with daddy affect my baby? But you know what...when you hold your baby for the first time,you realize that's not important anymore.you will be the best mom that you can be and as long as you keep that in mind the rest will fall into place.If jacob is in for the long haul with you,then consider yourself blessed,but im sure he is with u 2 because he wants to be.Just dont worry,life has a way of all working out and enjoy each second..as you only have your first one time...

Ashley - posted on 11/13/2008

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Totally agree with Mindy! TOTALLY! I had close to the same situation as you and met "the one." He was two years younger than me...(me-18 him-16). So, needless to say things were awkward especially when he told his parents that I was who he was going to marry. He loves and cares for my daughter as though she was his own. We finally got married last year after being together for 5 years. Make sure you TALK to Jake...about everything...that way you are on the same page all the time...it's only fair and he will appreciate it. Keep in touch ;) Best wishes!

Mindy - posted on 11/13/2008

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Hi Courtney, I was a new mother at 17, still in high school and basically had the same situation as you. Moved out of my parents home 2 months after she was born. He wanted me to get an abortion. I did not believe in abortions unless of rape or insest. I currently have the same situation as you. I met my husband when my daughter was 4 months old. She will be 16 in two weeks. We have been married 14 years this December. The one thing I have to tell you about Jacob. HOLD ONTO HIM. Men like that are few and far between and you have one of the last ones left. The others are boys in mens bodies. For him to step into your situation is wonderful. Some say he might be a nice guy, which some women don't even look at the nice guys. He is a real man and never take that for granted. As for the comfort of Jake, tell him. Always be true to your feelings and his. If you want or need something say it, don't beat around the bush. He is obviously there for you and your child. You don't have to thank him for being there for you, your love and honesty is enough. Most people are never completely ready to have a child. But especially at 18. I wasn't but you deal with what comes and just remember to appreciate what you have instead of what you don't and all of you be happy. I wish I could turn back time and I would have appreciated a lot more that I had but you will learn that in time just hopefully sooner than later. You have a great guy and a baby coming soon. Really, what more can you ask for?

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