against young mums

Kayla - posted on 07/29/2010 ( 45 moms have responded )

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why is it that older mothers or other teens who aint mums are against young mummies when we do just as welll as any one older

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Britney - posted on 08/03/2010

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that was very well said brooke. teen moms only stereotype theirselves by stooping as low as the people belittling them. most of them got theirselves in to that situation, it's time to suck it up and brush it off.

Adriana - posted on 08/02/2010

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i dont think anyone is against u i just think they feel like u could of been a kid finish highschool u know a 15 year old is still a child i wouldnt want my child 15 and pregnent there is so much i want for my son to go to prom to finish school get married and live life then settle down and have kids i dont know why all these teenagers are rushing to grow up enjoy your adolescent years

Brooke - posted on 08/01/2010

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I think it is more pity. It's the fact that at 13, 14 ,15 you are still in school. Or legally should be. You can't get a job, or a house. You havn't lived.
Whilst yes it's amazing to live your life with your child, it's hard to accept that you are still growing and maturing.
People pity those who miss out.
Most are going to think that they havn't missed out on anything, there baby has made there life better etc. That is true to a degree, but in 20 years you will look back and think. It was hard.
Parenting is meant to be challenging, but not HARD. At 30, chances are you have almost payed off a house, you're married, OWN your car....
At 13 you can't
not even at 18... unless you are famous or something.
We all do the best we can, but if we had been older we probably could have done even better.

Amarilis - posted on 07/30/2010

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some parents think that teens should enjoy being teens and learn from life so we could be better parents...as well have a stable life...like ur own place,a job, a car....lets face it most teen moms live @ home with thier parents and think who is paying 4 da dippers

Nicole - posted on 07/30/2010

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b/c thats how humans are; we judge, its the way of life. i was 17 when i had my daughter, and i know that i know as much or as little as some other mom who is 30 and starting from the beginning just like me. to me age doesn't even really mean anything when you are a parent.

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Lauren - posted on 08/06/2010

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whats sad is that nowadays it is scorned on, we get called fit to burn, snotty looks and i have to admit it's usually from older generations, i've even had an older lady sit in the buggy part of the bus and refuse to move so i had to wait for another bus, she wasn't frail or disabled and there were plety of other seats within a ten second walking difference. All I can say is not too many generations ago is was more abnormal NOT to be married and have a baby young. Admittedly I'd still get stigma for being single lol. But if you love your child more than yourself, can somehow provide for that baby and are willing to give up your whole life to raising your child, not getting someone else to do it, then don't let anyone beat you down for it, only our children can tell us if we're a good parent or not and if they are glad that we became parents so young, who knows if we'd all waited many more years to have babies they might not be the same temperament, same features etc aka the same baby we have now xxxx

Julie - posted on 08/05/2010

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just ignore them ther just jealous that ur young and doin a better job than them thats wat my friends say

Gabriela - posted on 08/04/2010

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Its just my thought but i think older moms are against us because they think we cannot handle a baby and that were too young to even have one. if its your mom that's againt you being a mom its probably because she had big plans on you *like my mom* like getting you to college or whatever! and as for other teen i think its because they're perfect and think that getting pregnant its never gonna happen to them, when i saw pregnant girls at my school i used to think omg they totally ruined their life with a baby or that's never gonna happen to me

Faye - posted on 08/04/2010

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it annoys me when i get dirty looks from people cuz im pushing a pram... They dont know me!!! what has it got to do with them anyway!... I had a go at a woman the other day cuz my son was crying cuz it was rele hot and she was like... wish they would shut that baby up...got up out my seat, walked over and said... excuse me... thats my son your talking bout... she gave me a really dirty look... could have it her... snotty moo! most of my friends have dropped me...they were fine when i was pregnant but since iv had my son im hardly...if ever invited out with them anymore... difference is... i might be a mum but im still 18! my son comes over them and if they dont like it tuff!

Jessica - posted on 08/04/2010

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I am also a teen mum. Yes I still live at home but by choice. I could have moved out, dropped out of school and had no finances behind me. My partner and I have been together for 4 and a half years. Which is longer than alot of older people I know that have gotten married and had children.

We decided that living apart and still with our parents was the best choice we could possibly make to bring our son up with everything he needs.

I am at university becoming a midwife. My partner has almost finished his apprenticeship. We both own our cars and have a house deposit saved to build a big beautiful family home to raise our son in and hopefully raise more children in.

I think that us great teen mums get put in the category of older mums. I believe I do. I don't go out. Never have and never will. Infact my younger sisters friends thought that my son was my sisters cousin and that I was her aunty. So I must look much much older than I am since I am only 19 and my mother is 43.

I am not sure if looking like my mothers sister is what I really want lol. However it does make me feel better knowing that I am not seen as a child having a child.

All in all I just ignore everything. I don't care. I have my family, we are doing great and I don't have enough time to deal with people that put others down just to make themselves feel better.

I am sure yous are all doing a great job. Goodluck
xoxo

Megan - posted on 08/04/2010

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This question will never be understood.
I am a young mom and some people treat me like i am like an adult and then there are the ones that look at us funny and make faces. I could care less because i know that i am a wonderful mother. I'm only 17 and having another baby...Both were planned....And everyone is like "YOUR PREGNANT AGAIN" But the best thing is my family supports me.. They know that i am a good mother and they love my son. Good luck.

Emma - posted on 08/03/2010

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I dont understand it either!! My mum was 16 wen she fell preg wiv her 1st and i was 18 wen i fell preg but yet she called me a slut, im wiv my sons father, we dont live off her- infact we live 5 hours away wivout help from any family but yet people still have the nerve to judge young parents!!

Rachel - posted on 08/03/2010

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I dont think they are against it. Its just some teen mothers tend to go out and party and act like a teenager when they are a mother. And in most cases, older people dont want to see a 15 or 16 yr old girl having to raise a child. They want you to have your own childhood before you decide to try and raise one yourself. YOung mothers can do just as well as an older one, but I dont think they are against it..I just think that they wished we would have waited.

Norma - posted on 08/03/2010

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There are many moms who are teens && dont take responsibilitie for there babies i got pregnant at 18 im 19 now && a proud mother to a 6 month old shes my world && i take care of her all by myself with no ones help i dont party nor do i stay out late i think im a wonderful mom && f*** what any ones says if you see that your doing a good job then f*** what any one thinks you can be 16 year old && might do a better job as a mother then a 30 year old age doesnt matter!

Stifler's - posted on 08/03/2010

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what makes these older mums worse mums than 15 year olds? i am sick of hearing about how older women aren't as good. yes they are. they've had life experiences other than raising children, gone places i wish i'd gone, finished uni and done things i wish i'd done.

Brooke - posted on 08/02/2010

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There is really no use in working yourselves up about it. It's a lost battle.
The fact is that older mothers are better developed then younger ones. Yes there are some who have no idea how to raise a child or who just dont care but the majority are great parents. We stick up for teen mothers because thats who we are. We are the ones who are grouping ourselves into the bad teen mums coloumn. If we are really mature and responsible then we won't give older parents the joy of seeing us wollow.
It's about time everyone grew up and came to terms that we are who we are. No one is safe from bullying. 40+ mums get picked on for being to old, single mums get picked on for picking the wrong men, 20- mums get picked on for being to young, women get picked on for not being married, or for being to young when married.
It's not just us.

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2010

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EXACTALLY I TOTALLY AGREE THEY ARE SO RUDE I MEAN IM 20 NOT EXACTALLY A TEEN NE MORE BUT I SO AGRREE ALL THESE PPL ARE RUDE. UNLESS U BEEN THERE DONE THAT THEY SHOULDNT BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE OR EVEN IF THEY HAVE JEEZ EVERYONE IS DIFERENT NOT EVERY TEEN/YOUNG MOM IS GOING TO BE LIKE THAT ONE BADDD MOM. STEROTYPES ARE NOT EVEN RIGHT

Kelina - posted on 08/02/2010

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I think a lot of people forget what it's like to be a teenager. Not sure if anyone is going to understand this but when i was a teenager I felt like an adult. We can't make ourselves grow up any faster, yet we don't feel young. We feel mature and capable of handling anything life can throw at us. Yes looking back from the lofty age of 20 or 30 or even 80 we realize that 14-19 was really young, but honestly we feel that about any age younger than us. My son is 1 1/2, and going to be a big brother and while sopmetimes i wish that i had gone to school and figured out what I wanted to do with my life, I wouldn't do it any other way because even at almost 21 I still am undecided about everything I want to do in life except be a wife a mother. everything else is a little murky. i mean they don't exactly have a course like figure out your dreams 101, or learn to farm or anything like that.

Cindy - posted on 08/02/2010

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cause some people have nothing better to do then complain i was a teen mom and i am doing great for myself and i know lots of "adult" moms that treat thier kids like crap and never should have had kids but they do for some reason. its all about what you anke of your life being a teen mom not by the age of having a child.

Jacky - posted on 08/02/2010

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that is excalty right i fell pregnent when i was 17 and had my daughter at 18 and seriously my life couldnt be better i love more daughter more than the world and i really think we do just as good as anyone else ....GO YOUNG MUMMIES

D'Auna - posted on 08/02/2010

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Ok I kno exactly how u feel im 15 and my son just turned 4 months. So our parents teach us not judge any one by what they look like, but yet there are older moms who belittle teen moms. Just cause i have a child don't make me a bad person. Im an honor student who will be attending Spelman studing Child Development. True it's some teens who have babies for the wrong reason but it's also some older women who use those same reasons. So stop the juding and sterotyping you should support us and motivate us. That's why so many young mothers drop out of school because of all the juding it's rediculos ! And to all of you who judge me i'm gone prove you wrong and who knows maybe on day your child will be attendng my daycare :)

Roisin - posted on 08/02/2010

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I own my own car....I am living at home but I was planning on staying in college until after college anywho...most other people my age live at home so don't see the problem...I don't rely on my parents to support me and I am raising my son...and he's a good and happy boy....I get the looks all the time...but I don't care, I'm happy and so is my son...I am friends with another mom who's son is also is in the creche and shes one of the few older moms that acknowledges I am doing a good job with my son...so not everyone has a negative few of us young moms and it is great to know that!

Samantha - posted on 08/02/2010

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us young mums have more energy and it our choice theres some young mums out there who dont have a clue but then what about us who would do anything for our kids im the best mum i can be probably better than the older mums x

Michaela - posted on 08/02/2010

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i hate the looks we get when just out and about minding our own business!!

Lori - posted on 08/02/2010

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Wat i dont get is that almost everyone thinks that its only the teen moms who dont take care of their kids or get them toking away or dont live in a healthy place for their kids when rele if yuu think about it theyre's so many older moms out there who just plan dont care wat theyre kids do and dont feed or they just plan dont have they're kids,, if yuu ask me i noe alot of teen moms and where doing better off then most of the older once

Samantha - posted on 08/01/2010

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I totally agree! I,about to be, am a teen mom and I know I will do just fine. I personally think that it's the older moms thinking that we are too "childish" to raise a child while we are still getting use to the idea of being a young adult and that being young, the child's father is most unlikely to be in the picture. The older moms are all old school, 1960s. Graduate, get a job, get married, and then have kids. But no matter the order in which those happen in anyone's life, as long as the child is cared for and happy then it shouldn't matter as long as it's done. Now, what I don't believe in is when girls purposefully get pregnant to keep a guy or have the excuse that they want someone to love and be loved back. This, to me, is them playing house. If you can't be ok without someone else there then I don't think you should have a child just because that person has a made up fansacy of what being a mom is. In real life, it's the hardest job in the world, hands down. I support all young moms and older moms. IF the older, more experinced moms keep being so negative then the younger generation has no one to look to for advice and then are forced to look words other means of info. In reality, we need each other for support and advice. So lets get forget the age thing and focuse on raiseing the next generaltion in a society that's, in it's self, sick and twisted.

Jenna - posted on 07/31/2010

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teen mothers can do just as great of a job at the older parents . there is nothing wrong with being a teenage mom

Ashley - posted on 07/31/2010

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I don't live with my parents and i'm a teen mom, i was living on my own even before i got pregnant. I have an almost 4 month old daughter and she is well taken care of. I haven't needed any ones help so far and i'm still living with her daddy. so yes there are responsible young mom's out there but all any one wants to listen about is the bad ones because it gives them a chance to feel better about themselves.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/31/2010

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I was a teen mom and never feel ashamed of who you are now If you got pregnant at a young age just do the best you can and find a support group even if its your family or friends Your never alone

Latwanna - posted on 07/31/2010

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On that note: Parents do not know everything about children and that is expected. Especially first time parents. You are learning about the child just like the child is learning about you. But I agree, our society has decided that TEENS SHOULDNT BE MOMS. But it is what it is.

Danielle - posted on 07/31/2010

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Yea... but it really doesn't matter what age u r... No one knows everything about children or babies... everyone has questions...

Sarah - posted on 07/31/2010

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because it has been drilled into our minds as a society that a young mother did something wrong. i am 19 will be 20 in oct. and i will say this i don't know everything about children but i know enough to take care of my own really i thing it is a stairo type that we have to put up with

Latwanna - posted on 07/31/2010

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I agree. My Daughter is my joy and she is the reason I do not drag out of bed every morning. I get up with a smile on my face thanking God for another day to spend with her.

Danielle - posted on 07/31/2010

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I'm a teen mom and proud and my life couldn't be any better... My daughter is my life and I love her so much...

Latwanna - posted on 07/31/2010

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There is a misconception. They do not fully understand that all teen mothers do not leave their children on their parents. Some of us actually take care of our responsibility by any means necessary. I am 18 and I just had my daughter in March. I am in college (a university) making straight a's and providing for her and myself. I mean my parents help out, but I have made it so that I do not have to ask them if they give, then great, if not, we will be ok anyway. Her father and I are trying to find a way to get our family together as a whole but all in all we are taking care of our responsibility as parents. They just dont understand, and they dont comprehend it. And it is mostly because they think about when they were teens and the things they enjoyed doing and they wonder what teen would want to give all that up. But our generation is more responsible than they give us credit for.

Sarah-Ann - posted on 07/30/2010

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cause they have nothing better to do with their lives than to bring others down. not ALL teen mums are great mums, but then again not ALL older mums or dads for that fact are great parents..
Why is it just the mums? What about the dads? I know a couple of pathetic teen parents, its just because we notice them more than the good parents and they are more interesting ect, and its because of them that the huge number of mature young parents don't get noticed and are believed to be "bad" parents. Or maybe its the fact that the mature respsonible young parents blend into the crowd of older parents and the bogan druggy drinking mums stand out like an ellephant in car... (weird example, but hey you wouldn't miss an ellephant haha)

Stifler's - posted on 07/30/2010

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No one knows how to be a mum until they are one. Not even someone who is over the legal age of consent. I'm not trying to push anyone's buttons here - legit question... what's the rush to have kids before you're even finished school?

Kelina - posted on 07/29/2010

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because while there are a lot of teen moms out there who raise their kids right and work hard and are wonderful mom's there's a lot more out there who end up having their kids taken away from them, or raising their kids in terrible lifestyles. There are also teen moms who have babies simply to be able to collect a welfare check. I know several of them. It's not as easy to group older mom's into that stereotype. Instead they get grouped into bad communities.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/29/2010

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I think its because there are a lot of mothers who have babies just for the attention, let their parents raise the babies while they go out every night, etc. So when someone says "young mom" or "teen mom" they only think of the negative things.
They probably don't know any of the smart, successful, loving, and attentive teen mothers who prove the stereotypes wrong. :)

Tabitha - posted on 07/29/2010

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I don't think that they are against teens. I just think that there is a stereotype, and people tend to believe that stereotype unless they have seen it successful themselves. I am an adult mom but i also had my daughter at 16. I fit that stereotype only in the fact that i didnt have a job and couldnt financially support my daughter, other than that i took care of my daughter in every other way. We just have to stand tall and just accept the fact that some people are ignorant when it comes to these kinds of things.

Erica - posted on 07/29/2010

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I have no idea, but i'd like to know the same thing. I got pregnant at 15 and am now 16 about to turn 17. I have a one year old baby boy. I'm still in school and also still with his dad. I know and all of my family and friends know that I am a wonderful mom. In fact, a better mom than some older moms I know. Yet people that barely know anything about me or anything at all always have something to say. I really just don't get it, so I just tend to block it out.

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