anyone else feel like they'll never get on there own two feet?

Jessica - posted on 11/18/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I've been living with my parents since I was about 5 months pregnant, before that I had been away at school. I got pregnant a couple weeks before I turned 19 and am now 20. I have a part time job making ok money and only get a check every other week. Every check I tell myself I'm going to save so and so much money, but every time something comes up and before I know it all my money is gone. I need to get out of my parents house and get my own apt as soon as possible. Dont get me wrong I obviously love my parents and wouldn't be able to do anything without them, but they're so nit picky about everything I do when it comes to my daughter, especially my mom. For example, my daughter can't sleep without a pacifier and its the only time she has/needs one. I brought her into my living room right after she had a nap, the pacifier was still in her mouth, and my mom was like what is that thing doing in her mouth, she doesn't need that, take it out.

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I can't get an apt until I get a car and my daughter into day care. Can't do either of those till I finish paying my parents back $900. When I do eventually get my daughter into day care, I'm most likely going to have to get a second job just to pay for it. Sorry this is so long and I feel like what I'm saying sounds like I'm just making up excuses, I'm really not! Just curious if anyone else is in a situation like mine....

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Iysha - posted on 11/18/2010

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I would suggest going to your county's Depatrment of Human Services and see what you can get help with. I know in the county I lived in the county would pay for childcare if you were working or going to school for an in demand job...My fiance and I were in a program called Cal-Works and since he went o school so far away for the in demand job he was getting training for, they gave us money for the gas to get there and back. He just had to record the mileage. He got grants and loans for school too. I was working part time and I had family near so I didnt need childcare but they did offer it. If you can, use the time you have to go to school. That way, you can have a real good job that can make you enough money to move out and live on your own. We had lived with my parents and a year later, we are now living on our own and he has a job as an auto tech. I will continue my college education shortly...I just need to get the information on the classes offered at the local community college in the town we just moved to. I never though it would happen that fast....but when you take the help offered, it isnt too hard and can be very benificial =]

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Desiree - posted on 11/29/2010

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i feel like this all the time.i had my daughter a month after my 19th birthday. i got dropped from my classes b/c i missed the first week even tho i was pregnant and horribly sick so now i have to pay the school back for all the classes i never even took before i can ever go back to any school in order to get my degree. i live in the flint area and no one is willing to hire me. its been over 2 years since i graduated high school & still no one will hire me. my fiance was only a semester away from his associates before Sallie Mae (a third party loan group) cut every person going thru them for loans that were going to his college. all b/c his college & sallie mae got into a dispute so now we're constantly getting phone calls to pay them back. if they had let him finish his degree he would have been able to get hired straight out of college & not have to start paying the loans back for several months. so much for that.... hes working at mcdonalds now b/c with this being flint thats really the only place that would consider him. but he went from getting about 600 a month to only getting 300 a month at the most. they over-hired so they cut everyones hours. now we can barely afford our phone bill let alone save up for our own place or a vehicle. we both even still need our licenses. we come from poor families & never had the money for drivers training in high school & between bills we already share with our parents & everything we have to buy for the baby theres no room for saving for anything at all. even with the help from the state we can barely make it. we constantly have our mothers trying to raise our daughter for us, and not the way we agree either. constantly nagging. and having to clean up after his mother & her bf because they're too lazy to do anything around the house. its aggravating and depressing being stuck in this situation where everywhere u turn to try to get out and make it better always gets blocked one way or another. some days it feels like we're fighting for a lost cause. =/

Chloie - posted on 11/23/2010

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oh you will get there dont worry, everything happens, i was in brisbane with my bf at the time and we chose to move over to perth and into a house with my parents. It took us a year to get out but we did, we now have a mortgage, 2 children n one on the way, no other debts all the best to you :)

Nikkole - posted on 11/23/2010

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Yea i know how you feel me and my husband had to move in with my parents and i have 2 kiddos and i HATE IT we are planning on moving next year at the latest! My husband works and im a SAHM and my kids are on WIC,And Hoosier health wise insurance but we cant get any assistance or food stamps because they add my moms income to which is crap because WE pay rent and everything for our kids and my husband works hard and we still cant get help!

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2010

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I'm going to put her on masshealth. My mom was pissed when I told her that because she thinks I don't need all this government assistance and I'm just taking advantage because I'm lazy. Not the case at all. If I had WIC, all the money that I spent on baby food/formula that I'm spending now could make me that much closer to getting the EFF out of this house.

My boyfriend and I really want to live together, but haven't talked about it. We haven't been dating that long so I think its a mutual understanding that its just too soon to move in together.

Liz - posted on 11/22/2010

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Also you should look in to see if you can get your daughter off their insurance. Even if you have to put her on medicaid. Then they will look at your income, and the fact that she is on the medicaid will give you more eligibility, for programs like WIC.

Liz - posted on 11/22/2010

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I understand completely what you are going through. When I got pregnant with my b/g twins I was 20 years old and had them at 21. I was also away at school, and had to come back home. My fiance finished school so after we got married we were living with my parents up until our twins were almost 18 months old. We now have our own place, and it's still a struggle at times, but we are slowly starting to make it on our own.

I know also how it feels to be in a rut. My husband had gotten let go of his job because of the economy and had picked up odds and end jobs. Every time he made something, or made a bit more when we could get on our feet, my parents increased the rent. It came to a point where if we didn't get out we probably would have ended up divorced because we got into so many fights while we lived there. Feel free to message me if you need to talk.

Jessica - posted on 11/21/2010

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Yeah I had called WIC a couple days ago and since my daughters on their insurance and its private, eligibility is based on their income not mine. And with there's I'm not eligible

Iysha - posted on 11/20/2010

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If you just go to the DHS office, fill out a form and under where it asks if what you're applying for, check all the boxes so that you can get what applies to your situation. If you only check, lets say, childcare then they will only check if you qualify for childcare and not cash aid, foodstamps, calworks, etc...



Talking to the caseworkers at your group would be great...they can let you know what programs are available and what qualifies and doesnt. Like I know If I had just put that my fiance, baby and I lived with my parents than I wouldnt have qualified for anything but since we lived with my parents AND were expected to pay rent too...then it was different.

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2010

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Those are really good ideas, thank you! Just don't really know where to get started. I go to a mother's group for young moms and these three social workers run it, I think I'll ask them for help...

Kristina - posted on 11/18/2010

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I'm kind of in the same boat! Moved back home when I had Ceanna, I just turned 20 a couple months ago and I feel like I'm suffocating in my parents house. I love the help, but like you said, they also interfere... I'm on Maternity Leave right now so I don't make a whole lot of money, so I also find it hard to save money for anything because with a baby, you never know when you'll need to buy something! Then there's the thought of going to college next year and it definitely is very overwhelming. You're not alone, trust me! And with daycare, a lot of people don't know this but you can get subsidized even when you;re working. If you make under 20,000 a year you can end up paying like $1 a day for daycare as long as its a licenced daycare. You should really look into that!

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